Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The HR "Wish List" and Courting "Wish List" are Inexorably Intertwined

It is links between two seemingly unrelated things that start to show you the odd and sometimes amazing psychological, financial, sociological, economic, etc., relationships that exist in the world and helps bring about your understanding of the world to a clearer fruition.

One of which I hit on recently and went on at length about, but just found this whilst looking for means of employment which further proves my theory;

It's identical (not "similar," not "akin to,") but IDENTICAL to the girl/s who complain "there just aren't any good men."

Notice the year this was posted - Mid Year 2010.


1 in 5 jobs go unfilled because they CAN'T FIND A QUALIFIED EMPLOYEE?????

And nearly HALF of the organizations in your firm lack qualified workers????



Mayhaps I suggest there is a little bit of impossibility in both HR's and women's "requirement list" for potential suitors, be it for a job or a romantic suitor? That asking for a man who is 6'2" or taller, makes lots of money, loves his mother, wants to go to church, but is a bad boy in bed, but not unless you say so, who likes to write you poetry, votes liberal, but is a man's man is about as probable as finding the candidate with 10+ years uninterrupted and progressive experience with a masters in blah blah blah blah (PhD preferred, of course) and billions of certifications who is going to work for an average wage and travel 90% of the time and have no social life out of work?

But, no, no. That CAN"T be it! You keep on going. You keep waiting for that perfect candidate to come along who magically has 8 years of experience in a software that has only been on the market for 3. I mean, there's no WAY charlatans and con artists would ever get through your impenetrable filtering and screening process and just tell you what you want to hear just so they can get the job. I mean it's just like dating, right? Nobody has EVER passed through that shield of yours that was unqualified, and CERTAINLY nobody who was ever qualified did you ever shoot down only to regret later.

Of course.

That never happens.

Heh heh.

Enjoy that decline, people. Enjoy that decline.


Anonymous said...

Oh yeah. Sing it brother!

I know several programmers/ system architect types. One literally only barely graduated from high school and yet is a top programmer and software designer at a major industrial company you have heard of.

On a lark, and to piss off the HR VP, he and his software guys submitted their own resumes (changed names etc...)to HR to apply for a team that they were forming and somehow couldn't staff - according to HR.

At the next meeting, he "innocently" asked the VP how it was going and heard the tale of woe how no one qualified had applied.

He then dropped the bombshell that 10 of the companies own top coders and software guys HAD applied: 5 hadn't gotten a call and the other 5 had been "screened out" om phone interviews despite great reviews when referneces were checked.

There was consternation and much shouting and bad feeling until the HR Dept was, err, ask to leave.

The current coders got the job of finding staff, called around, and were done in 1 week. It's now the second most successful programming team.

david (still not chris!) said...

Hey, I'll take "no qualified applicants" for $500. I'd like to hire another competent programmer (as in computer), have wanted to for a couple years, but keep running into (at least) 4 main problems.

1) Our office is in Stillwater, on Main Street. Some might think that would be nice , but all the cool kid programmers with their oh-so-fashionable whatevers like to hang out in urban dystopia for some reason. Even if they have to drive there. Right. Heck, in the summer I sometimes walk the couple blocks to get take-out lunch and sit by the river watching for babes on motorboats or tourists taking pictures of the bridge to Wisconsin. How cool is that?

2) I expect everyone to show up. Basically every day, excepting for normal things like a case of the plague, etc. I really don't like it when people start asking "Is Joe coming in today?" at around noon every other day.

3) When at work, I expect WORK to be done and projects completed in a timely manner. That also means when the owner is seemingly casually walking around chatting with people he should not find anyone surfing for comics or reading the news (last guy I got rid of actually got caught doing that a couple times while his project was also late, earning me no end of grief from the owner).

4) This may be going too far, but I think the phrase "go figure it out" should represent a mind expanding challenge and not a call to whine to other mom's basement dwellers about how "unfair the boss is for not taking care of me".

Norm said...

One of the best job interviews I had was great because it tested the skills they required (auditors). Must be able to use Excel & Word, write a good letter and interpret rules & regs. Put the accountants (we were all designated accountants so they employer did not waste time asking if we knew accounting) in a room with a laptop, ask them to read a letter, find the info required on an Excel worksheet, apply the rules & regs and write a letter back answering the inquiry. Those that made it through part 1 (many were screened out) were sent a sample problem do the internet research and present a short presentation with Q&A. If you did a reasonable job of both tasks, the auditor job is easily done.
The tests/presentations were relevent, fast and objective. Not one of the hires has washed out on the job since.

Anonymous said...

I find it funny that for so many women I encounter, the "has to be a liberal" requirement is such a dealbreaker. Conservatives (most, anyway) would never turn down a potential for a long-lasting meaningful relationship just because of the way someone votes. When I cast my ballot, I know I'm voting mostly for narcissistic douchebags who will screw things up. I just hope I vote for the ones that screw things up the least.

But I won't let those douchebags I vote for define every relationship I have with other human beings.

Maybe I'm wrong. I am just an idiot conservative.

white and nerdy said...

A few months ago I became self employed. Since then I have been offered more work than I know what to do with. I also get asked a lot for references for other self employed individuals. I found out a big reason is trying to bypass HR for many of the reasons that have come up on this blog. I have ended up talking to a lot of people at a lot of different companies and they all have the same HR problem of HR preventing any resumes from getting to the managers. I'm sure it doesn't help that I am a software engineer and female HR regards most guys in this field as geeky.

While it's making me a lot of money since I'm willing to deal with being self employed it does not bode well for the future of the American or even world economy.

Rosalys said...

Why are people so ridiculous? Are these HR folk usually/always women? Being themselves firmly ensconced in their own little fiefdom does it give them a sense of authority over "the little people" to wield such power?

It seems like a classic case of trying to make oneself look good by degrading others. Why do companies hold onto these people. The world has enough tyrants as it is!

Brian Dunbar said...

I've had a half-dozen employers since leaving the Marines in '93. One job was obtained by going the 'HR route', the rest by networking.

Currently I work for a mid-sized company, been here for ten years. Love it, I've done well.

But I got here when the much-smaller company I worked for was acquired. I doubt I'd pass the HR screen we have now: by their standards I don't qualify to do what I do.

Conor said...

I thought the article was going to be about the disconnect between the 22% the employers said and the 48% the HR crowd said.

Well my experience of HR, when I left my last job I was still around when HR sent out the internal job advertisement. As a joke my line manager shouted out "are you gonna apply". I shouted back "No, I haven't got the experience". They were looking for someone with 5 years min experience, I only had two when leaving.

I've come to realise that job descriptions and minimum requirements are utterly meaningless.

kurt9 said...

How can someone who has not personally done engineering work determine whether a candidate for an engineering job is good or not? Are the managers themselves so clueless about this problem? Perhaps most managers are "too" busy to spend their time screening candidates.

If I were a manager of a company, I would do the hiring process myself rather than clueless HR people.

Anonymous said...

These overwhelmingly female dominated HR departments will automatically write off an otherwise great candidate with 4 years, 11 months related experience (as opposed to their arbitrary minimum of 5 years) just like an overwhelming majority of women will automatically write off a great guy who otherwise meets their mile long "wish list" because he stands at 5'11" instead of 6ft.

Conor said...

Interestingly, I just got an email from a member of the Google "In house engineering staffing team". I thought it was spam at first, but it was legit. They said my name had been mentioned by one of their engineers in a brainstorming session.

Two things about this stand out, a company which is known for being very effective at getting the best staff are using unconventional methods and secondly they don't refer to themselves as HR.