Monday, August 05, 2019

Revenge of the Millennials

Perhaps it was Starbucks, or perhaps some obscure Minneapolis coffee store in the 90's, but I'm pretty sure the first instance of a company using politics as advertising was a coffee store.  I didn't understand it at first as I thought it was common sense you didn't introduce politics or religion into business was bad for business.

Why alienate 1/2 of your potential customer base with politics?
Why alienate 4/5ths of your potential customer base with religion?

Not only was it bad business talking about politics or religion when you're trying to sell somebody something, but it's also rude to sermonize or lecture your clients about anything.  Serve them their cup of joe, do it for a fair price, do it with a smile, and leave them the fuck alone about politics, religion or anything else personal in their lives. 

But now corporations sermonizing the rest of the world about leftist politics has gone viral.  And it behooves the question why.  Why would corporations take such a risk?  Why would corporations be so foolish?  And you can call me an ole fuddy duddy, by why are corporations so arrogant and rude?  How dare you assholes lecture me about anything outside the purchase of your product or service, you smug, cocky, arrogant assholes?

At first I speculated it was because republicans and conservatives are not only pussies, but lazy.  Republicans will never boycott their precious Starbucks.  Conservatives will never give up their precious Apple products.  They can't wait to mortgage their house so their precious children can attend worthless liberal arts colleges to brainwash their own children to hate them.  It's almost as if Republicans hate themselves so much they can't wait to prostrate themselves in front of corporations that arguably hate them more.

But this is only part, if any of the explanation.  There's no advantage to "punish" or "mock" non-leftists from a marketing sense.  So why risk bringing politics into it at all?  There had to be a reason, an upshot, a positive side to choosing socialist/leftist politics, alas there was something more afoot.  Something compelling corporations to take (what would seem a foolish) action and bring politics into their advertising.

And there was.

The Millennials.

A Valueless (Though Highly Profitable) Generation

Millennials are the largest generation alive today.  They are also in that "sweet spot" of being young enough to still be "hippish," BUT also old enough to make money to spend (well...ok, let's be honest, BORROW money to spend).  They are  the largest consumer group in the US and the western world both by numbers and dollar volume amount.  They should be the most targeted group of consumers by corporations around the world, and they are.  But for all their youth, numbers, and purchasing power, they have one tragic and horrific flaw.

They have no value.

The Millennials by all accounts are a failed generation.  A failed crop.  The butt-end of a joke in American history.  They're so bad, it's now tiring and old hat to make fun of them.  Like the boomers, it's almost perfectly legal to discriminate against them.  And now that most of them are out of college and into the real world, most of the non-Millennials don't even bother making fun of them because life is kicking the ever-living shit out of them.  About the only true thing that is annoying about them is their constantly whining for a bail out of money they fully intended to steal from other people in the form of student loans, but this aside and bar a Super Bowl-51-Tom-Brady-esque comeback, they will die a generation, arguably more pathetic than the Baby Boomers.

They are truly valueless.


In every way, shape, and fashion, the Millennials have no value, core, soul, or purpose.  The generation truly offers nothing of value to society or history.

How Do You Sell to Nobody's?

This presents a problem to corporations.  How do you sell to the largest consumer group that has no values?  How do you sell to a generation that has no definition?  On what grounds do you promote and propagate your wares to a generation who's only defining characteristics are living at home, demanding bailouts, worthless college degrees, tattoos, and soy?  And the answer is very clear.


In every generation before the millennials, it was pretty clear what grounds marketers and corporations would advertise their products based on.  Strength, excellence, beauty, achievement, wealth, successful, fashion, and ease.  Your product would make you more beautiful.  More sexy.  More intelligent.  More manly/feminine.  The products would IMPROVE you as a person (or at least sell you on those grounds).  But the millennials have no traditional core values that used to drive humanity.  They do not care about excellence, they care about acceptance.  They do not care about beauty or physique, they care about fat acceptance.  They do not champion toil and overcoming hardship, but hand-me-outs and BGI.  And they do not value beauty.  They merely value the lowest common denominator.  And the reason they value the lowest common denominator is because the only value they've ever been given has been leftist politics.  Politics of envy. Politics of laziness.  Politics of parasitism.  Politics of sloth.

You can't even say it's politics as much as it is really just a rationalization to excuse not having to work for a living. And since they've been given nothing else in life. all they celebrate is their politics.  It is the only thing of "value" they have.  It is their only religion.

And corporations know this.

A Very Special Hell

The problem is corporations don't care about this hypocrisy or laziness or utter worthlessness of politics as a "core value" to a generation or society.  Worse, these marketers know that the largest consumer group today is a generation of people who only have politics as their sole value in life.  SO while to old fuddy duddies like us who want products advertised to us on their merits and how they will improve our lives, corporations do not care since we are no longer the largest consumer market.  They will be rude, they will be insulting, and they are going to force feed politics into every ad, every job posting, every commercial, and every advertisement you see.  While the rest of us have jobs, careers, families, love, physique, excellence, or achievements in life, we are currently doomed to be assaulted with advertisements for

"going green"
"orgainics/gluten free/non GMO"
"fair/free trade"
"open borders/Anti-Americanism"
"anti-male/pro-feminist movements"

because that is all the millennials have in life.  Their worthless religion of politics

Sadly, it's not going to be relegated to commercials or super bowl ads.  Because nearly every major institution and industry in the US also wants a piece of that millennial borrow-and-spend money.

The Democrat party
They psychology profession

They all want the millennials to part with their money.  And the only way they can achieve that is by playing to the only thing MIllennials have in life - socialist politics.

This means for the rest of us adults, we are going to be forced to tolerate, endure, suffer, and listen to a cacophonous and complete echo chamber of childish, parasitic socialist politics in nearly every aspect of life.  The media, our movies, our TV shows, our education system, our government, and yes, every your groceries or morning cup of joe.  It is guaranteed that instead of respecting us as adult consumers, they are going to force feed leftist politics into every facet of our lives because that is the only way they can get millennials to part with their money.

I personally avoid most of this by being am minimalist.  I do not shop at Target.  I do not attend sports games.  I go to an increasingly rare movie.  I do not watch TV or news.  And I will never attend a sexual harassment training seminar. I simply refuse to accept or tolerate a company or any other institution lecturing me about politics in a thinly veiled marketing attempt to dupe dopey millennials out of their money.  But even then, it is so thorough and complete (because the brainwashing of the millennials in K-college education was also so thorough and complete) it is pretty much unavoidable.  You, me, and every other non-millennial American are doomed to be pelted and berated with condescending leftist politics for the rest of our days because millennials need said politics to have any point or purpose in life.

Well Played Millennials

It is here I must tip my hat to the millennials.  Because as much as I hate their parasitic asses (and they are parasitic because socialists always are), they never stood a chance given the horrific, if not outright absent parenting their baby boomer and Gen X parents failed to give them.  The millennials did not grow up in a vacuum.  They were molded and formed by they-yet-as-of-then shittiest generations America had ever generated.  Parents simply refused to parent.  Parents simply refused to tell them hard truths.  Parents didn't want to spank or punish or put in the hard work that was required to be "bad cop."  And parents did absolutely NOTHING in terms of preparing millennials for financial and personal fiscal management.  In short, the parents of millennials simply wanted to fuck, breed, and then leave their kids to the government or the schools to be raised (because remember, education and careers are more important than your children).  And the results can hardly be shocking.  Surprise, surprise, when you don't have stable nuclear families, and outsource your kids to the public schools, all that generation will know is government care, not parental care.  It's no shock socialism is all they have.

But the rest of us will pay the price for failing to bring up the millennials properly.  We will pay more in taxes (whether we bail them out of student loans or they die with a balance).  We will pay the price in terms of socialism as they follow the thorough indoctrination and programming they were brainwashed to have.  They will continue to value politics over human interaction, experience, and love.  And yes, until most of us die, you can expect Nike to use Colin Kapernick to hate on America, Target to continue their hatred of white straight males, colleges and universities to be money scamming operations of Marxism, James Bond to become a black female, and Starbucks to insist we have a conversation about race.  Every facet and corner of your life will be infected and infiltrated with leftist politics because that's all the largest American generation has.  And I'd like to say you didn't bring it upon yourselves, but you did.

Enjoy the decline.

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Anonymous said...

Living vicariously through products is a leftist phenomenon. Conservatives have a creative, family, and religious life to think about. They buy generic not just to save a "few cents", but because they are suspicious of branding in general.

It's why right wing brands like Black Rifle Coffee are correctly seen as dubious.

Post Alley Crackpot said...

"... old fuddy duddies like us who want products advertised to us on their merits and how they will improve our lives ..."

Do you want to be able to buy the things you need in such a condition that you only have to buy them once in your entire lifetime, and your children/heirs/etc. can continue to use them?

Do quality construction and durable, timeless design actually matter to you?

I realised why there's a market for Le Creuset in America even though it's over-priced: just look at the competition, and despair.

Oh, but look at all of that magnificent non-stick "eco coating" stuff that's "hard as ceramic" that you can find in nearly any shop ...

Yeah, but it's not as hard as 5.5 on the Mohs scale, and so any steel knife will scratch it, any ceramic knife will scratch it, and maybe your silverware coming loose in the dishwasher will scratch it. Just looking at it in the presence of any metal may, in fact, scratch it.

But this crap flies off the shelves because it's "eco cool" ...

And made in China, nearly all of it's made in China.

Because of that, I'll buy my cookware from France, and my cutlery from Germany, but now I have to make sure it's not really made in China.

Any out-of-work Millennials who are wondering where the manufacturing jobs are, any Trumpistas who are wondering why fuckall's changed in the economy despite tariffs against China, listen up: you lot make a bunch of shit and you import even more shit, most of which comes from China. The sheer volume of this shit is so much that it's been driving manufacturers with decent values like service life out of the markets, and they are unlikely to return, even slowly.

America's industrial future in the 2020s ala the United Kingdom in the 1980s: Sheffield and Solihull, essentially waiting on the collapse to finish its run.

So let's get to the real reason why Millennials are a bunch of political activist tossers ...

Millennials behave in ways where they can't really win, but instead of figuring out what's fucked up about themselves, they double down on political games because they think that's the only way they can win, which is by forming ad hoc "political interest" groups which they can use to bully actual winners.

But there's a shorter read to all of this, mind you.

Millennials are the Gamma Generation, to use an idea popularised by Vox Day.

Millennials can't win directly, because their fucked-up values prevent such a thing, but they can fuck up your shit enough to where it looks like they're winning whilst you're having to fight these jackals going for your Achilles tendons.

Millennials as a Gamma Generation are so horrid that they may actually cause a global war to preserve their non-existent values rather than fix what's fucked up about themselves.

And so now I actually give a toss about le terroir and where things come from and how they're made because most of what I'm seeing in America is becoming a special kind of crap: rather than the industrial and bland American manufacturing crap of the 1980s, made to Soviet industrial standards in America, we now have this stuff that's being made to Soviet political standards on behalf of "American companies" who outsource it all to China.

BTW, please, someone, tell me where I can get butter from Cornwall in this country ...

I'm expecting one day to find political adverts from Land of Lakes dairies, and I'd like to get ahead of this horrible trend by importing actual quality.

Anonymous said...

Metokur is right. Start learning Chinese.

Anonymous said...

Millennial student loan debt vs Baby boomer retirement shortcomings. Will be a hell of an entertaining battle. As Clarey likes to put it, "Enjoy the Decline".

Tucanae Services said...

Well if the Mills don't have assets and little income even virtue signalling will not fatten the corporate bottom line. Worse they would lose current customer base to do it. ex: The $8Bn write off for the Jillette division of P&G. Eventually the corps will get a clue. But in the meantime they will lose market share.

CBMTTek said...

To be honest, the old fuddy duddies are into it as well.

The number of people my age (50+) that want non-GMO/gluten free/free range/organic/sustainable/etc.... is ridiculous. The number of people I know that will not shop at WalMart because of politics, or will only buy a particualar make of car because of politics, or are take BDS into account when making major purchases is measurable.

Remember something. The millennials learned it from someone. Their parents are just as much to blame for corporations putting politics into their products.

Anonymous said...

I love the picture. All the screaming women / girls, except the one in the yellow shirt ( I think she just happened by, maybe?) with two pajama boys hanging out with them, hoping to 'get a little'.

維尼熊同志 said...


FredLewers said...

Buy old stuff in serviceable condition and maintain it.
Cast iron cookware, 1986 Ford Turbo diesel, vintage firearms...
The difficult part is getting clothing. That you gotta buy new and its damn expensive to find and buy quality footwear and outer garments. Hang in there, another 10-15 years and we'll be around the corner and recovering. I think and pray so.

she said: said...

The reason these Millennials suck so much is because they were spawned from the greediest generation alive. Baby Boomers. Being a GenXer like you - I could never figure out why all the articles I ever read skipped the GenX generation. I thought surely these kids were coming from GenX. But if you actually look at at it - there are a ton of OLDER dads.

I realized this one day when I had a guy working for me. He was older than me, but his kid was lots younger than me. Then I started looking around and realized Baby Boomer Dads created this mess. They taught them in their image. To spend everything the greatest generation gave them. (The baby Boomers parents). Spend everything they had. And then they spend everything the millinials would ever hope to make.

And then with a cherry on top - they told them to follow their dreams. A lot of these Millennials are really just trust fund kids. They are waiting for the baby boomers to die so they can inherit their houses. Why would they ever think they needed to work?

Tucanae Services said...

"Millennials as a Gamma Generation are so horrid that they may actually cause a global war to preserve their non-existent values rather than fix what's fucked up about themselves."

If they get the chance, which they won't. What they miss is -- THEY are destined to be the cannon fodder in that war.

Joe in PNG said...

My suspicion is that when businesses become successful and grow to a certain size, they begin to hire and replace their experienced leadership with people that have worthless college degrees.
Because it's Sooooo obvious that a person with a prestigious Uni MBA knows Sooooo much more about running a business then one of the people who helped build it up. People who know the product, know the customers, and so on.
So, you get these new kids coming in that have leftwing views, and feel the need to change things. Because it's really hard to just say "things are running good, we'll just leave it alone".
They want to be hip, and they want to make their mark on the business world. So, out comes the "Bold", "Daring", "Controversial"- and as children of the educational establishment, "Bold", "Daring", "Controversial" is all part of the leftwing establishment orthodoxy. They honestly don't know any other beliefs.
Meanwhile, we're seeing the concept of "Get Woke, Go Broke" in action- yet businesses who the left tries to shame and boycott will have lines around the block. Eventually, this will register with business.

ポスト路地のクラックポット said...

維尼熊同志 (の Winnie the Pooh):
日本が後援する暗号コインに投資してください、明らかに ... 当たり前!


John the River said...

We had a house fire, total loss, we got lots of insurance money, we bought lots of new stuff to replace the stuff we had owned since we got married.
The old stuff wasn't expensive, in the early years we were poor. The new stuff started breaking and if it didn't break it grew increasingly shoddier.

After breaking the third corkscrew in a row I formed a theory, I'm growing massively strong in my old age!