Wednesday, December 31, 2008

And a Happy New Year

I was thinking about making a New Year's resolution to not engage in economic schadenfreude and take glee in the pain of others.

Then I thought about all the pain these sub prime deadbeats are causing the economy and all the banks that are asking me for my tax dollars to pay for their stupid mistakes, not to mention all the gray haired middle age bankers who scoffed and laughed at me and my ilk when we said there were problems in the housing market. And so on second thought, naaaahhhh, I'm going to continue to gloat;

And thus, let me give you the 2008/2009 New Year's Toast

May your houses and Mercedes get repossessed.
May you lose the job you earned through having nice hair and kissing the boss' ass at the expense and integrity of the firm.
May your toxic wife leave you as you no longer can establish a line of credit to rent her.
May your children actually have to pay their own way through college and learn to hate you as you spoiled them this entire time and accustomed them to an unsustainable level of living with other people's money.
May you never travel to Europe, Arizona or any other luxury trips ever again.
May the IRS come knocking at your door this April.
And may you have to get a real job and produce something of worth.



Hot Sam said...

There's no horse so dead you can't beat it a little more.

Arizona? The psuedo-riche go to Arizona? I guess when you live in Minnesota....

Anonymous said...

Happy New Year Cap'n!

Anonymous said...

Dear Captain:
You are an angry and bitter man. Keep up the good work, and for God's sake, don't seek help, as you might become demotivated and stop writing this column. Happy New Year.