Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Cowardly American Men!

So I get a call from one of the districts I'm teaching at and guess what;


Now, I know I've pointed this out before. And I have berated all you men to no effect in an attempt to get you off your lazy asses and go learn how to dance.

But all I get is;

"But I don't know how to dance. " - No sh!t Sherlock! That's why you take the class!

"But I don't have a date." - DUH! Like you need one?

"I don't like to dance." - Tough. Besides, who said anything about liking to dance. There's no better way to meet nicer, accomplished, EMPLOYED women. I can't count the number of dames I've dated over the years LITERALLY because there was so many of them ALL BECAUSE OF DANCE!

Now I'm dead serious about this. I know not all of you male Captain Capitalismites out there can attend, but you local guys have no excuse. Contact me here. I NEED MEN TO SIGN UP FOR CLASSES AS EVEN AS SOON AS TONIGHT. And I have plenty more classes starting in the near future.

Ladies, you certainly can sign up too, it's just I really need men.


Chris said...

Doesn't demanding that men sign up for dance classes seem logically inconsistent with your previous posts noting that the expense and investment in dating was exborbitant given the expected outcome? If the cost of dating is undesirable and causes men to leave the so called market as you postulize more utility is derived from playing xbox, then why on earth should men undertake further expense to learn to dance which they generally consider a chore to be undertaken only after copious amounts of alcohol?

The suposed carrot here is to meet women to date, however, if your previous reasoning is that dating is undesirable in its expense and that women should adjust their expectations to accomodate men - why should men undertake a further investment in dancing on the chance that it will result in a mere chance of dating which you cite as a generally bad investment. Hence it throws good money after bad.

Although this post could be mere puffery and the Captain shilling for his dance classes to make a few bucks like a good capitalist.

Anonymous said...

What if you don't like to dance and don't have much interest in meeting women?

And no, I'm not gay,; I already said I don't like dancing. :P

Billy B said...

Maybe you should have "Gentlemen's Night", sort of like "Ladies Night" at the bars. The "ladies" have to pay for lessons & drinks, the "guys" get to go & drink for free. You do serve drinks don't you?

Marketing 101!

Anonymous said...

I can attest to this, I have taken one of the captains "Latin Sampler" classes. You will never find a better way to impress women than learning how to dance. The only thing I would fear is that now the Captain is a published author all of the women in the class will only have eyes for him.

Anonymous said...

Hahahahahahahahaha!!!! God, that was funny. Thanks for the laugh. :)

(And yes, I do realize you're dead serious. That's part of what makes it funny. Unfortunately, I'm neither a guy nor do I live in your area, so I can't help. Would if I could, though.)

Anonymous said...

Dance classes work! They are filled with attractive and intelligent women with varied interests. As one of the few single men there, I was treated like meat. Fantastic!

Anonymous said...

A good man is hard to find. A hard man is good to find.

Anonymous said...

All you need is proper marketing. Find some men-only venue to advertise in. Tell the men that dance class is a great place to meet chicks. Most men know the concept (it's probably the only reason a man would sign up for a night-school French class, for instance).

Anonymous said...

I learned the errors of my ways when I took dance classes with my wife and noticed the favorable female/male ratio.

Things to do in my next life:
1. Go to nursing school
2. Sing up for dance classes
3. But plenty of condoms

Anonymous said...

ok, Captain, where are these districts you are teaching a class?