Tuesday, October 13, 2015

Being a Musician Cuts Your Game in Half - By Guest Writer Matt Baldoni

Being a Musician Cuts Your Need For Game In HALF

...but you still need game. Read on, gents.

I've been a pro freelance musician for two decades. In that time I've met a lot of women,
and judging by the numbers that other men in our corner of the interwebs have calculated
so diligently, I'd say my notch count is in the top 1% of all men. But that's certainly not the
reason I do what I do for a living. I do it for girls AND money.

I got started playing music as a kid because I saw how well the athlete boys were
doing with female attention and knew full well I couldn't do what they did, so I needed to
find something else. Once I discovered that a man with a guitar and a microphone was
adored, I knew that was it. I was driven by learning how to play things that inspired me
emotionally, and determined to make it my job someday. It worked. But it should be known
that honing my skills began at age 9.

Playing music is an incredibly difficult thing to do WELL. It takes years and years of
diligence, practice, handling rejection well, and sacrifice in order to attain professional
proficiency. It would not be easy for a newbie to learning game if he decided to learn to
play music instead. As an adult who has never played music before, I'd vote that it's much
easier to follow the advice of our experts here and just begin overcoming your anxiety and
start approaching cold. But if you already have interest or experience in playing music, it
can eliminate a lot of the work for you.


I've talked to thousands of them about this, learned what they like and what they don't, and
there are some things that they all agree on. Some of these are: Being good with your
hands is sexy. A man who can manipulate a gigantic phallic symbol and create beautiful
sounds with it gives a woman tingles in the nether regions. Many women love music
themselves, and find it attractive that a man loves it like they do and they like someone who
they have that in common with. This happens a lot, as musicians tend to be the BIGGEST
fans of music and musical artists. The confidence that comes with being a professional
performer is just like any other confidence a man has...sexy. Passionate men are sexy.

When that passion and the sweat generated from it is visible and she can see it and touch it,
she wants it. High status as a musician, or performing for large audiences, suggests you
have status, money, and can provide resources. If you write original music (I do not), every
woman dreams of being immortalized in song. Like Layla. Musicians are “different from the
other guys”. Sometimes it's just long hair, other times it's because women see it as a unique
job to have.

But the main reasons they like us are the same that drive them to do most anything
else they do...ego and attention. We can all agree that there are many different kinds of
“whore”, but the one thing women will prostitute themselves for more than any other is
attention. Their egos drive their innate need to compete with one another, and musicians
are often men that other women want. If they can nab a musician, they win. Also, and this
is not often mentioned elsewhere, they are in absolute awe of the attention a musician man
can generate for himself. They're even envious of it. Sometimes they hate us for it, but
we're like drugs to them, and they can't shake us off without withdrawls.


I'll mention again that I am NO original artist. I've written some songs, collaborated on
others, but let me remind you that my main reason for doing this is money and making a
living. Musicians work to serve the public, and the public likes what they get fed. Play
songs they know, play songs they like, do it with relative authenticity and accuracy, and you
will make money. This formula has worked for me my entire career. I know the songs that
women of all ages like, and I play them.

I have in fact written a few songs about women, sometimes just to play it for them
alone, sometimes they've ended up on someone else's album or a film soundtrack. But
lyrics are very difficult for me to write (not to sing), so I don't do it much. I can tell you that
the songs I have written myself for a girl have gone over like gangbusters and dropped the
panties in seconds.

Bottom line, in order to get laid as a musician, you need to be on stage as much as
possible. In order to do that, you need to play cover tunes. You can get started and get
visible a lot faster that way, it opens you up to more professional opportunities, bands, and
venues, and you can “cast a wider net” of women when you're working every night playing
hit songs, as opposed to playing your own songs once a month at some open mic or club gig
for 6 people. Other people's music makes you MORE money and gives you access to MORE


I have friends who do well on every instrument, but in my experience as both a music fan
and music professional, there are two that attract more women than anything. Those are
1)singing lead, and 2) playing lead guitar. It's no accident that I do both. All my heroes do
both (Clapton, Hendrix, Stevie Ray, etc.) and that's what I always wanted to do too. I also
did both because it made more girls notice me as a little kid. I still practice both
instruments every single day, even if I'm playing three gigs that night.

Do drummers get laid? Sure they do. Bass players? Yep. Keyboard players?
Sometimes. Horn players? Not as much. That's about where the hierarchy ends from what I
can tell. Musicians are always gonna get laid more than guys with conventional jobs, and
often times the instrument choice doesn't matter much. But nobody is commanding more
attention than the lead singer and lead guitarist in any given band, and by learning both you
can not only make more money as a musician, but also meet more women.
Singing in general, no matter what instrument is your first choice, if done in addition
to that instrument can really up your chances big time. Even guys who sing a few
background harmonies while playing bass, drums, or keyboard do very well. But being the
lead singer in a band or principal performer in a show will always win that shitfight.


Being a musician will eliminate the need for many of those unsuccessful cold approaches.
It's my opinion you should ALWAYS go approach a woman that interests you with NO regard
for the outcome, whether you're on a gig or not, but having some solid experience as a
performer can really give you confidence you can't get in a lot of other places. I learned to
hone and sharpen my game after already having been a musician for some years, and other
parts of my game came naturally just BECAUSE of being a musician. You'll find this common
among musicians.

At the end of the night however, you still need to close the deal. One cannot live on
singing sappy pussy songs alone. You need to make eye contact while working, establish a
vibe, and then move things forward with conversation on your break or at the end of the
show. I should also mention that this is often IMPOSSIBLE when touring, because you have
to break down the gear or load up and get right to traveling as soon as you're done playing.
But often we travel in the early morning hours, and you can get a lot of one-nighters under
those circumstances.

The gig will also allow you to “read the room” as I call it, and get a good view of many
different women in the venue. You can see from the stage where they are, what they look
like (sort of), who is buying them drinks, and who they might be fending off or hooking up
with. If you can multi task, which most musicians can, you can formulate your talking
points/bait-drops/lines/thoughts while finishing a song and be ready to spit as soon as
you're off stage.

I would never in a million years take away from the importance that the experts in
our internet corner place on game. They're all absolutely correct. However, if solid game is
an American V8 motor, being a good musician is like putting twin superchargers on it. Zero
to hero in 12 bars.


The 'sphere places huge importance on fitness, strength training, grooming, and other
subjects. All incredibly useful and vital shit. NOBODY wants to fuck and/or hire a fat ugly
guy and put him on a stage. I happen to have long hair and a beard, which I've had for many
years. I did it to deliberately NOT look like other guys I saw out there years ago, I wanted to
be the exact opposite of them because I thought they were all douchebags, and these days I
get stopped at many places and asked “Are you in a band?” I just sorta have that look by
default. It helps, because it's most often women that ask that. I don't consider myself an
overly handsome guy, average at best, but I maintain good physical shape and I groom
properly. Put an electric guitar and a microphone on top of that and it's your third

As far as talent goes, musicians who sound shitty do not get laid as much as those of
us who are really good. Am I really good? Of course I am. Does that sound egotistical? Of
course it does. I maintain a professional standard of skills that my business requires, and if I
weren't any good, I wouldn't be making this much dough. So, if you're in a band and not
getting laid yet, you need to practice your instrument AND your game every single day.
When they're both proficient at a professional level, they'll start to pay off handsomely.


Most of us are freelancers, and like any freelance career, playing live music has a huge
amount of ups and downs. Musicians have an incredibly bad reputation for being
irresponsible. I am determined to go against that grain, so I live very minimalist and cheap
and watch my money like a hawk. Being responsible with your money in an insecure
business promotes discipline, health, and overall well-being. You're a lot more free to scam
girls at the gig if you're not so worried about what they're paying you.

Like I said, I tend to eat clean (hard to do on tour), work out, and choose to live
alcohol- and drug-free. I'm usually the weirdo on most gigs and tours I do, but I always get
laid the most. It's almost comical how much farther ahead I am than guys I play with
regularly. Many of them are married, but married guys are sometimes more anxious to hear
about your conquests than anybody else.

Always being in control and waking up rested and healthy keeps your musician game
sharp. You play better, you fuck better, and you won't make bad choices when it comes to
girls at the gig because you're thinking clearly. I ain't saying don't have fun, but this is a JOB
and I am running a BUSINESS. People who take their business seriously don't get drunk or
high at work, or they lose their jobs.


I just can't let this one go by without acknowledgement. I have never been married or had
any children, and I never will. I don't use the gig to find a wife or mother to my future
children. But I know guys that have done so with great success. The other guys try to wife
up some groupie whore and get totally screwed.

Women and beta pussies will squawk and cackle that only low quality sluts are into
musicians, or something stupid that sounds like that. I can say without a doubt that all of
those generalizations are TOTAL BULLSHIT. That's just something women and pussies say
because the women are jealous of other women who get musicians to fuck them, and the
pussy men are jealous of the musicians who get laid easily. ALL straight women have been
attracted to a male musician at one time or another, regardless of their “quality”, and there
are many we've met that ended up being super cool. A gig has led to several very fulfilling
and loving relationships for me.

Sure, you'll meet a bunch of brain-dead skanks, and if you're in a metal band they're
ALL brain-dead skanks, but if you work your way up to playing nicer joints, the quality of
women go up and you have more choices. I've gotten numbers from medical doctors, six
figure lawyers, models, actresses, and athletes, all of them hotties. There will be the normal
coalition of chubby broads and ugly broads, ones with too many tattoos, too much hair dye
or too many holes in their face. They might be easy fucks, but they're not GF material.
Choose wisely fellas.

So, say you DO start dating a chick exclusively after meeting her and hooking up with
her after a show. Then you're gonna have a whole other set of shitfights and difficulties.
The worst one...other girls. Other girls ALWAYS show up to the gig. If you're GF or wife
starts fending them off or getting jealous, it's bad business for you and the band. Also, if
your significant other wants to all-of-a-sudden get involved in “band business”, that's a big
no no. Bands have fallen apart that way. We jokingly call it “Yoko Ono Syndrome”.
It takes a secure and independent woman to date a musician and put up with the
long hours, the traveling, the ubiquitous other women, and the lifestyle. But in this day and
age there are plenty of strong women who can handle it, and many of them are dateable.
Just because I won't move one in or marry them does not mean you can't either. But don't
make the mistake of thinking it's mostly low-quality women in your audience. Nothing
could be further from the truth.


Just like anywhere else, you'll find that a huge amount of musicians are slobbering little
geekboy beta pussies who just happened to be proficient enough on an instrument to get
in a working band that generates an audience. This is the last reason I'll give you as to why
game is so important. You're not only gonna need to play better than these guys, you're
gonna need more solid game than them just like you would on the street. I've seen guys
who have no reason to NOT get laid based on their professional position strike out nightly.
They may have looks, they may have talent, some women may like them, but they don't have
what we all can learn in our little corner of the 'net. Do yourself a favor and continue
learning more and more about your game all the time. Being a musician can eliminate a lot
of work if you're a good one, but there is still no substitute for the real work laid out by our
pioneers. All I am saying here is do BOTH. You can get by on just being a musician, but a
musician who has practiced his game as diligently as his guitar will be unstoppable.


This particular matter does not have to do with gaming chicks and a musician, but it's so
important that I couldn't finish this article without addressing it.

We who have diligently ingested the crimson capsule will find that once our eyes are
open, our beliefs change. We may lean more politically conservative or libertarian, we may
shy away from traditional institutions like religion or marriage, we may become fully
involved in the neomasculinity movement. With all this comes a certain responsibility if you
choose to make your life in show business.

You won't find a more liberal and leftist business than the “business we call show”.
Most of middle management will be either women or gay men, feminism and feminist
women run rampant among your professional performer colleagues and superiors, and it
seems everybody is a total fucking socialist. In meeting the men on gigs who DO share my
beliefs, I find we must keep them very quiet if we want to keep our gigs. Most are quieter
than I am, but I often could give zero fucks whether I keep a gig or not, no matter how
prestigious it is. It's often this attitude that garners you the respect of your bandmates and
colleagues too.

But it should be noted that there are a million guys waiting in the wings who are
willing to play music live for FREE, often just for the sake of meeting girls. Yes, our job
really is that cool. Being true to yourself and maintaining frame is essential for the
happiness of man, but we all gotta eat, and part of being a professional adult is knowing
when to keep it to yourself and just do your job, as painful as it may seem at the time.
In the meantime, gentlemen, I'm happy to offer more advice and answer questions. As
guitar virtuoso Joe Satriani says, “Play on...and keep it alive till you're 95!”


Anonymous said...

Good article. Thanks.

I am a very late bloomer to both game and serious music. My real genesis didn't start until I was in my mid-40s.

In either realm, I am a novice. I am not a great bass player, but I play the music I do well. I distinguish myself with style and energy. I have overcome fear of playing in unfamiliar circumstances, spontaneously playing songs I don't know with unfamiliar musicians on occasion.

I am comfortable with strangers and make for a good host at the parties my band mostly plays at. We get a lot of women attending and it is better than a bar in a lot of ways for 'intimacy'.

Game has served me very well in this environment. Possibly I rely on peacocking a bit much as I am mostly the best dressed of not only the band, but the attendees. Whatever it is, it attracts attention and spontaneous openings from the women attending.

One of our guitar players could have it made. He's got boyish good looks and attracts women...initially. But he falls apart in his uncertainty of himself.

All in all, the presentation of confidence as evidenced by the ability to put yourself out there in front of an audience is pretty powerful. But you gotta keep up the game, on and off stage.

BetaPussy said...

Good luck, guys. I hope it nets you the lifestyle you want. I'm not being sarcastic.

Makes me glad I'm a beta pussy, who hung out in the library and met a beta guy waiting on public transit. Married the beta guy, loving my beta life, living in a beta house and driving beta cars that are paid for. Raising beta kids.

Yup. I really do hope you get the kind of lifestyle you want to have. I did.

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the links captain, I got an idea while reading the previous SJW article and here it is:
As an fee male myself, that article inspired me to call my next consumer product: FEMINISM. Why ?
Because I want to raise the awareness about feminism and the dangers men are exposed to.
A similar tactic was used by tyrants to make people forget about the meaning of words, similar to how feminists
try to brainwash us with P.C. language, and we might hear after few decades that meritocracy could be just a way of filling some paper forms. But why can't we invent a TOILET PAPER today called FEMINISM ????
Or better something more viral like FEMINISM SPAM. So everyone who reads this, send an unsolicited email to any people you want to, with the title: FEMINISM SPAM.

Anonymous said...

Hey man, I am a fellow musician and I get what you are saying about style, appearance, talent, all the superior qualities, however, I find it difficult to understand why the majority of musicians are constantly on the "Prowl" for a fucking relationship or one night stands. Call me old fashioned or square, but I was brought up to respect women and appreciate the women I have met who are respectful of me as well. It is a two way street guys, if you are looking for trash, you will likely find it, and this in turn makes you trash as well. This whole upping the game is just that, a game. It tends to make respectable musicians, be they male or female, to lower the standard of quality musicianship. This puts all of us in a lower state than we deserve. Any musician worth their salt, knows how difficult it is to work at this craft, constantly perfecting it and learning as a lifetime skill. Why can't we UP the quality of what we expect from our audiences , male and female, to meet our professional MUSICAL standards. If you just want to get laid, there are numerous avenues one can seek, however, if quality musicianship is the basis of what we are selling, it should be just that and not a slezzy fuck at the end of the night....just my two cents worth. Respect yourselves, man..... and you will get what you expect in turn......ANNOYED WITH ALL THIS SEX SHIT.....GET TO THE MUSIC GUYS AND GALS.....

Anonymous said...

Been trying to leave a comment several times, guess the composer of this article does not like what I have to say!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey Man,
Reading the musical portions of this essay are interesting and right on, however, the slurs about women and easily getting laid are disgusting! I do not understand how an educated person can be so blind to the entire female race! Every woman is not out to take advantage of a man just as every man is not out to take advantage of a women. Life is just too damn short to be so cynical and cut off from the opposite sex. All of us have had relationships that did not work out for one reason or another. Learn from them and move on. Do not hold grudges and miss out on the good things that life has to offer. Humans are not created to be alone, this does not include marriage per sae, but just having another person in one's life. It appears to me that those who do all the talking about certain issues may be just that, all talk. As far as a musicians lifestyle not being one for a family life, look at all of the one's who have maintained long relationships and are still together. Look at Barry and Linda Gibb, for example. Look at military families who are separated much longer than a road tour and yet their relationships remain strong. It is the people and their commitment to each other, weather married or not, that keeps the relationship vibrant. It is HARD work but well worth it. It seems we often let the fear of what we want the most allow us to build walls to prevent us from getting what we really want out of life. Allow God to give you the courage to love and be loved. Life is just too short. Take that special person on tour with you when it allows. Maybe looking for someone more mature instead of always searching for the younger HOTTIES. Good women, like men, come in all ages, sizes and character. Look at the heart of a person. Take care man, and good luck. Chow for now