Friday, February 20, 2009

Accusing Men of Immaturity Because They Don't Wish to Marry

I tire of these stories because the question of "where have the good men gone" has been answered time and time again, it's just I presume the women don't like the answer they're getting and therefore keep asking it hoping somehow they will get an answer they like (even though it won't be true).

So in a spirit of kind-heartedness I will help out the lost WSJ reporter and hopefully end this needless discussion once and for all (which I probably won't because it won't be the "correct" answer women are looking for.)

Here is an excerpt from the article;



I shall make it bullet-pointy to be succinct and save us time (though, there are a lot of bullet points to make)

  • One, the now never ending common refrain that women now earn the majority of degrees. For the 348th-freaking time it's because you major in easier/worthless subjects. THat's why you earn the majority of degrees, but still make only 76% of what men do. Ironically the reporter has her "masters in English" because even though you've been speaking it for your entire life, you still need to get an advanced degree in it so you speak it "real good."
  • She highlights women's advances in education as proof they are "more mature." Which is the largest erroneous premise of the article. Women are not more mature than men. Just because men play video games and drink and fart and belch, does not mean we are less mature. Maybe by the "female" definition we are, but if we'd follow that we'd all be a bunch of betas no girl would want to date. Being mature is supporting ourselves - not rushing out to propose to a girl and start making babies. Just because we can support ourselves on less money than you can, does not make us less mature. Matter of fact, it makes us MORE mature because we are being fiscally responsible living in dumps we can afford instead of insisting on living in Uptown and buying fancy clothes and cars and appletini's we can't afford.
  • Did you hear of this "divorce fad" going around? Apparently it was started by the baby boomers and CONTINUES TODAY. Not to mention a lot of the 20 something men who aren't "mature" enough to get married tomorrow REMEMBER THEIR PARENTS GETTING DIVORCED AND ARE A LITTLE GUN SHY
  • Did you hear about this "divorce fad" going around? Apparently the rate of divorce didn't drop with Gen X or Gen Y either.
  • Did you hear of this "divorce fad" going around? Apparently men get to pay out the majority of the time be it alimony or child support.
  • Did you hear about this "divorce fad" going around? Apparently 65% of the time it's women who initiate divorce.
  • Feminism and feminists are not sexy. When you say, "well I consider myself a feminist, but don't mind staying at home and being a good wife" all the guy heard was "well I consider myself a feminist blah blah blah blah blah." The term has been tainted by its "profession" to represent something that is not pro-woman at all. DO NOT CLAIM TO BE ONE. It will send the men running.
  • Kids cost around $500,000 each to raise. given employment prospects we can't afford that. Much rather buy a boat or frankly work all that much less.
  • Hey, you hear about this federal budget deficit and debt? Apparently we elected this guy "Barack Obama" and a bunch of democrats into office who are now mortgaging the future. This means our expenses in the future will be higher. Well, of course us "foolish, immature, pooping, farting boys" were too "immature" to vote for him like you wise women, but then again we're too busy flinging poo at each other to ponder the future macro-economic ramifications of a collapsing dollar.
  • Hey, you hear about this social security medicare thing? Apparently enough "smart wise women" disproportionately kept voting for democrats to essentially have those immature 20 something men pay for the livelihood for these aging people. This added expense on our futures make's it that much harder economically to commit to a wife and children.
  • Hey, you hear about this "welfare state" "medicaid" thing? Apparently enough "smart wise women" disproportionately over the years voted in enough democrats to essentially replace the role of fathers with government programs making fathers not only unnecessary, but an increasingly risky and unrewarding proposition, not to mention, making it easier for women to just up and leave their husbands, because well, "they needed to find themselves" and the government will take care of the kids while they go pursue their EPL fantasy.
  • Hey, if I'm not going to be a father, then what incentive to I have to "grow up?"
  • Hey, did you hear about this "welfare state" thing? Apparently because we've now outsourced bringing up children to the government and have to create government jobs for all the "sociology majors" and "education majors"and "communications majors" our tax bill will go through the roof. Oh! Wait!!! No it doesn't! I forgot! I'm a guy! I can live on very little, work a crappy job, work part time, live in a crappy apartment with my buds and STILL have enough disposable income to play video games and buy booze.
  • Sex in the City? Not sexy. Tell them you watch "Hogan's Heroes" instead.
Then we have much more succinct, non-socio-political explanations;
  • The drama and BS men have to suffer from 14-25ish or so drives them into the arms of X-Box 360, the chums and booze.
  • The risk/return of known factors such as friendship, a cheap living, fishing, booze, video games, and just the plan damn freedom that comes with it, HEAVILY outweighs any potential returns we'd get from spending time pursuing women.
  • There is no risk of having a dog, a gaming console, friends or a poker game. There is a risk of having a wife and a child.
  • Girls, in general, are completely unaware of the fact that men are 1/2 the equation. No consideration is given as to what men might want in a relationship (read her article again)
  • In general, men and their traditional roles have become deprecated and are no longer needed for society. Therefore some may commit suicide, but most will opt to enjoy a simpler, easier self-serving life while we're here.
So to summarize all the bullet points:

In short you have made a life of bachelortude and singledom more attractive an option (economically, socially and romantically) than marrying you.

You may not "like" that answer. It may even make you angry. But it is the truth.

So can we now please stop it with the "where have all the good men gone" schtick?

Thank you, and as always, enjoy the decline.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Happy Birthday to Me!

Tis my birthday today and I fully intend to spend it playing video games, working out and achieving pretty much nothing. That is my gift to me.

However, when the female members of my crew asked me what I wanted for my birthday I sat and thought about it and said, "You know, I would love a calendar of you girls. I want you girls (there's about 7 of them) to put together a calendar of yourselves for me, but posing in somewhat risque and provocative poses."

There was hemming

hawing

blushing

laughing

and just outright refusal

Which hurt the poor Captain's feelings because apparently NOOOOBODY loves the Captain. Captain's best female friends, who presumably in being his friends would have his best interests at heart, but oh, no. No, no slightly sexy calendar for the Captain.

So, if I can't get my female friends to put together a nice little calendar for me, perhaps I can get my readers to at least send me photos of yourselves (not sexy photos, just normal photos).

Again, much as I like the blog, it is a bit impersonal when all you get are posts, but you don't get to see who it is. Dennis Prager also does this as he insists that if you are going to send him mail, send him a photo of yourself. It makes it much more personal.

My inevitable goal would to create a collage of all the Cappy Cap readers out there and then put it above my desk. That would be a really cool and great birthday present! And if any of the female fans of Cappy Cap were to perhaps send the poor Ole' Captain some rather racy photos, who is going to complain?

In any case e-mail your mugshots to;

CAPTcapitalism@yahoo.com

Go, do it now! Now! Quick! Go! Do!

(Notice it's CAPTcapitalism, not CAPTAINcapitalism. It will go to another guy and he will wonder why the hell he's getting all these weird photos of people.)

PS - I like dogs, if you have a picture of you with your dog that would be really cool!

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Oh You Idiot

Yes, just "print off more money."

I'm going to go out on a limb here and say;

Contracting GDP

+ Mucho more money

= Much more inflation

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Maybe You Should Move to Canada

I put together a study.

And the purpose of the study was to calculate which countries would be the best to move to as the US becomes "progressively" more sucky (pun intended). However unlike most of my other research, I opted not to publish my findings in that, frankly, I get sick and tired of doing brilliant work and not getting paid for it, so if anybody wants the results they get to pay.

That being said, to help out those of you in America who are becoming "progressively" more worried the US is a sinking ship, never fear, there is an alternative; Canada.

Yes, Canada, the "socialist, semi-skilled at hockey" country to our north. The one we mock for being a European socialist state in the western hemisphere. The whipping boy and butt end of many jokes for generations of Americans.

Yeah, that country, the one that's about to kick our ass.

Laugh as you might, but though it is not the "ideal" country, it does rank in the top 25% of countries I calculated as superior alternatives to the United States. And by superior, I mean superior.

First allow me to post some statistics and then go over them briefly;


First you have the corporate tax rate. Oh sure, not a big advantage, but a large enough advantage it behooves the question, why havn't American firms been fleeing north to set up corporate HQ's? I mean if they're going to endure constant negative media coverage, an ignorant villianization of their existence, why suffer a 39.5% tax rate when you can suffer a mere 33.5% tax rate.

Oh, and did I mention they have nationalized health care? That may not seem like an advantage to us die hard capitalists, but for a corporation that would cut IMMEASURABLY MUCHO on their labor costs as they no longer have to pay health care insurance. So lower corporate taxes, plus savings of roughly 1/3 on labor, all the while still having the benefits of a modern, English speaking economy geographically close to their market. Please, somebody tell me why corporations haven't fled to Canada yet?

Second, corruption. I opined earlier that the US' corruption index would collapse under all the corruption, sleaze and parasitic scum buckets ranging from everybody like big fish like Bernie Madoff to the millions of smaller scumbucket fish like the investment banking, blue blood, bulge bracket nepotist and cronyists who got their jobs because of daddy and not because of skill, but forget that. Even ignoring that likely collapse, Canada is already significantly less corrupt. 8.7 vs. a 7.2. Why deal with a bunch of criminals in institutions such as the government, corporations, your employer or your educational institution when you can have significantly less crime in the institutions of Canada? It's not like we're Somalia, but give it time.

Third, government deficits as a % of GDP. Never mind that the OECD data I pulled for the US is already outdated as Obama just sign the "F#ck America over" bill which puts the real government deficit closer to 10% GDP. Let's just "hope" it stays at the previously OECD projected 5.2%. Whether it's 5.2% or 10%, it's a many-multiple of the insignificant .5% deficit the Canadians are racking up.

Fourth, and what does the fiscal recklessness that causes deficits culminate into? Why the national debt.

Yes, the national debt!

"Sick and tired of having to pay for what you want to consume? Why then just borrow it from future generations by saddling (and screwing them over) with the national debt. All you have to do is vote for socialists who couldn't balance their check books as mommy and daddy paid for their philosophy degree in college, who inevitably ended up in politics, because, well, that's where true scum bags with no skill end up. Slavery isn't dead! It's just deferred! Vote for the national debt!"

Apparently the Canadians (and I know, this sounds crazy) don't hate their children nor their grandchildren. Apparently they seem to have this thing called "fiscal austerity" or "fiscal discipline." Because they've ran smaller deficits, they naturally have smaller debts. Their national debt is only 22% GDP while ours is 52% (oh, and yeah, that doesn't include the debt the genius "stimulus" package just saddled us with).

So you can either forever serve in servitude to pay for the "Great Society" and social security and medicare (because that form of slavery is OK), or you can move and not be so indebted.

Fifth (or as Dave Chappelle says, "fif") corroborating their fiscal austerity and their remarkable ability to maintain the simple 3rd grade level concept of spending within their means, it is not just the government that seems to balance the books, but the people in general. The current account deficit, though a deficit, is only 1.8% of GDP compared to the US' 4.4% (again, Obama, socialists, stimulus, not adjusted, more like 10% GDP, etc. etc., never mind). Yes, not a surplus, but 1.8% versus what in reality will be closer to 11% in the US, where would you rather be.

And finally, six, that whole thing about "Canadians are taxed WAY more than the US!"

Oh really?

You see the ideal measure of the tax rate is government spending as a percent of GDP. In that revenues don't really matter since spending, not matter if you pay for it with borrowed money or current tax revenues has to be repaid with future taxes. I've mentioned this before, but for all practical purposes, the US and Canada have the same effective tax rates, both roughly 39%. At least in Canada you get "free" health care (and I know how weak that argument is, but just to goad the left).

Now there are many more measures in my little study, and these are just some of the main ones, but the question is the same I posed about Iceland. Why doesn't the Harper government just take advantage of the economic crisis in the US and simply pilfer and poach the most productive citizens from the US?

It's not like those hard working people who toiled and strived and saved every penny to pay their mortgage dutifully and on time have any more allegiance to the US. Certainly not after we've just bailed out every sub prime dead beat, and sub prime bank/banker that caused the crash. It's not like the responsible, productive citizens in the US are looking forward to financing the $1.2 trillion in future spending Obama used as a payoff to bribe all the masses into voting for him or bailing out the Peggy Josephs of the world. They're have to be treated just like any other human being and any other consumer; They're looking for a fair and just place to live where they can excel and keep the majority of what they've earned. And if Harper was smart, or heck, just all Canadians were smart, they'd realize the world's most productive talent is looking elsewhere. They'd realize a country is only as great as its people. They'd realize that if they could snatch away all the productive and creative labor in the US, they would have an economic engine that would not only transfer the REAL economic productivity from the US, but would basically inoculate themselves from any depression the US might have. Additionally the conservatives would bolster their ranks as the new immigrants would most certainly vote conservative, basically reproducing the opposite of what leftists in the US do as they try desperately to give illegal aliens the right to vote here in the US.

In any case, I know this is outlandish, it's crazy, and nobody is going to listen to it. But when your GDP is contracting by 12% because you're too closely tied to this Titanic known as the US, then you might just think about poaching some of that there talent from the US, and the talent from the US might just think about jumping onto another ship....despite the severe lack of any real good hockey teams.

;P

Wizard of Idma

Had this forwarded to me and it's a cute little joke.


However, what I like about it is how it is so simplistic, yet fully explains why communism or socialism fails in the long run. Understand that the left likes to make things so complicated or seem so difficult or complex that "you really just don't get it do you? That's alright, it's difficult to understand, don't worry about it, that's why we have government officials working on it." When in reality, no, it is that simple and can be simply explained away. If people are paid not to work, then why would they? And if nobody's working, then where's all the wealth and goods going to come from? And "is that a bread line I see over there in 1980's Russia?"

Additionally, understand that this cartoon is really nothing more than a "bumper sticker soundbyte."

You see these everyday;

"You can't hug a child with nuclear arms."

Or

"Clinton lied, no one died"

and other extra-inane comments that earn their inanity in not just being hypocritical about what they're critiquing, but thinking somehow genuinely complex matters like the war on terror can be simplified or settled with a 5 word bumper sticker (usually the more bumper stickers the more moronic the people are).

However, this cartoon, despite being a "bumper sticker soundbyte" does destroy socialism. Not because it's genius (it's simple), but because socialism is so flawed. If an ideology can actually be defeated by a bumper sticker, then what kind of an ideology is it? Of course, when the masses are brainwashed to such a level of ignorance and stupidity, any ideology stands a chance, but that still doesn't change the fact that when something simple like a cartoon or bumper sticker can pose an unassailable argument against an ideology, then it is flawed.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Ignorance

I go to my bar in my town (yes, I own it all), and at my bar in my town are my friends. Friends I've become acquainted with over the years since I escaped the overly taxed city for the superior suburbs.

Now as the majority of my friends work at my bar, they are a bit younger than me. Typically in their mid to late 20's, I commonly am the butt end of age jokes and am frequently challenged to drinking contests at after bars. However, because I am older and actually bought my house in my town and don't live with my folks or have a heavy subsidy, it is by default that naturally I'm about the only conservative in the group and this has not gone unnoticed.

Alikening me to Alex P. Keaton, my younger friends joshingly picked on me and mocked me for always bringing a laptop into the bar, writing my book at the bar, doing taxes, not getting hammered every night, not buying a fancy car, etc. etc. But above all else, I'm the only one that didn't vote for Obama.

So it happened one night I'm sitting there, a couple of the guys are at the bar, talking to Tim the bartender and the news is on. The news of course is on the dire state of the economy, the failed bailout and failing stimulus package. Rob, a trust fund kid with a heart of gold, but the economic knowledge of a brick turns to me and says, "See what you're president did?"

All of them agreed with Rob, it was George Bush's fault and conservatives fault that this economic crisis happened. It was under GW's watch this occurred and ergo must be his fault.

And it is here that I get so enraged at the egregious level of ignorance in this country that all I can do is futilely look up into the sky, for what is my rage going to do? There is nothing I can do.

So allow me to explain a couple things here so that if you are younger, or perhaps you have to deal with such ignorance, you are well informed about exactly how this economic crisis came about and where to place your blame.

George Bush and the Republicans are not to blame for this economy.

And contrary to what you might think I don't blame the Democrats, Barney Frank or the CRA either (they are if anything partially to blame, but the numbers just don't show that the CRA was the main factor in this housing crash).

It is the (are you ready?)....

AMERICAN PEOPLE WHO ARE TO BLAME

I know for small or younger, undeveloped minds they like things in neat, orderly, simple to understand packages, but the problems of this $14 trillion (soon to be $12 trillion) economy were, for once, not caused by the government. It is the American people and their spoiled-rotteness that are to blame. To believe that they are entitled to spend like the federal government and live beyond their means is what got us into trouble. To borrow more than you are ever capable or working off, and on the order of trillions of dollars is what got us into trouble. It is the simple fact that a critical mass of people simply did not pay back their loans like the promised and that is why we're in the trouble we're in now.

Now I don't know how people get to the conclusion that it was the "Republicans" fault or the "democrats" fault, but for God's sake, if the economy is that important to you and the future of the nation is that important to you, and that you hated George Bush so much that you volunteered your time to the Obama campaign, could you at least get off your fat, intellectually lazy ass and, I don't know, STUDY THE FREAKING SH!T?! Like instead of just going with your feelings and not bothering to expend one calorie of energy on thought or research, maybe think about it a bit and read up on it? I don't know, maybe even (gasp) LOOK UP SOME STATISTICS!???

And it is here where I have the problem with ignorance. It's not assailable. It's not changeable. It's not within my power, no matter how superiorly informed and educated I may be about the topic, to change these peoples minds or to get them to think. Ignorance is this amazingly destructive and destroying disease that is immune any logic or sanity. And pound away all you want at a skull that is ignorant, you're not getting through. That skull has decided what the reality of the situation is and no amount of "facts" or "reality" will change it. You're just a "meanie republican." You're just "oh, that crazy ole economist who brings his laptop into the bar." Never mind you wrote the damn book on the topic, never mind you predicted this was coming, never mind you worked in the industry and have the experience and knowledge to explain it all in detail, no, you're that "nerdy Alex P. Keaton." It would be like me explaining to them how to be a bartender when I've never tended a bar in my life. It's the same having a 24 year old waiter, who never went to college, filed for bankruptcy explain economics to me. It's amazing how ignorance impairs.

Alas, as I've said before, there's nothing one can do aside from two things to fight ignorance. One is simply not to fight it. Just let their ignorance lead them down a path not founded in reality and they'll soon have a rude awakening as to why they're still a bartender or a waitress at 50 (this is not to wish ill will upon my friends, but rather to ensure they have a more productive life than that by warning them not to take that path) or worse they'll live in a socialist nation. The other is to bet them. I personally like this approach because it immediate forces the ignorant to think because now you've demanded they risk money on their beliefs or philosophies. They actually stand to lose something and can no longer treat things like economics, politics or whatever as an indifferent hobby. They have to (I don't know) treat it like a great and important responsibility as if they were a citizen in a democracy?

Regardless, the moral of the story is you can't get excited or angered over people's ignorance. It isn't worth the blood pressure. Nothing you can say or do is going to undo years of brainwashing by the public schools and the media's highlighting of Barack Obama's pecks. 23 year old female psychology majors will always pick Obama's pecks over your chart that correlates government spending as a percent of GDP vs. RGDP growth, no matter how right your chart may be.

So capitalists, conservatives, libertarians and other varied sorts of free marketers, just sit back and relax and let the liberals have their day. There's nothing you can do about it, and about the best thing to do would be for us to just quit so that when this all comes crashing down and results in a collapsed, desperate nation we can show the masses our clean hands and say, "See, we told you so and we have nothing to do with it."

In the meantime, if anybody blames Bush or the Republicans for this debacle, just show them the video below;



But, don't say I didn't warn you about the knee jerk reaction "Well that comes from Fox News, so that's biased and doesn't mean anything."

Uncle Jay Explains the Stimulus

Wow, Jay bars no holds against Obama.

Don't Trade With E-Trade

I like to dispense advice that helps people.

A lot of it goes unheeded. Things like;

"We should not make any more real estate loans."

Or

"X-Box Sucks"

Or

"Iceland should become a tax haven if it wants to get out of its economic crisis."

But while I cannot get entire governments or entire banking corporations to do what I say, perhaps I can get a couple individuals to save themselves the pain and agony of dealing with ETrade.

I had a small online account with E-Trade. Waiting patiently, biding my time for the bottom to hit, I was in no rush to trade and had a little cash built up.

I went online to see how the few stocks I had in the account were doing and saw a $40 "fee."

Apparently I'm not the only one this has happened to. Students of mine have also complained about this where if you don't trade once a month or something, you get charged a fee.

I called up the customer service guy, read him the riot act and closed my account.

And though I am not Drudge Report or anything like that, perhaps Etrade and other financial servicing firms out there who have decided to pad their wallets with hidden "fees" will think twice before screwing individuals over.

Who knows, they may even embrace a business model that SERVES THE CUSTOMER!

Ho ho! Now I'm getting loopy. A US finance firm that doesn't screw over the public.

Friday, February 13, 2009

Kindle

I have what I estimate to be three readers who are rather adamant about my book be available on kindle. However, happy day fellow Kindle readers;


If you really want it on Kindle, now you can click on the link and let Amazon know!

As for the rest of you who were going to help me beat Pelosi in book sales, come on, let's get crackin'!

French Maid, Naughty Nurse, Dirty Librarian/Teacher, Catholic School Girl, Corporate Exec, Beer Frau Outfits

It is good to clean.

And because I am without a day time job, I decided to embark on a huge cleaning project. And not one of them cleaning projects where you clean the house, I'm talking one of those massive and thorough cleaning projects where you open up all those old boxes that have never been opened over the past three moves and organize all the crap that's in them while you scan cards and photos on top of the dusting and the Windexing and the laundry. One of "those" cleanings.

But an often unrealized benefit to this massive cleaning is that when you unpack these boxes you see all the mementos and keepsakes from as far back as a decade ago. You get to see where you were back 10 years ago, and even more importantly perhaps, through letters and e-mails what you were thinking.

I uncovered one such letter. A letter I had literally forgotten about, but once I started reading it, I remember specifically why I had saved it. I wanted to keep proof or evidence as to my sanity when it came to my decision about dealing a young lass from about 5 years ago or so. For you see I, as I'm sure many of you are, am quite hard on myself and unless I save documents, letters, notes, my brain has a tendency to blame myself as history goes on. But knowing this, I specifically saved this letter so if my future self ever started doubting himself this would starkly remind him he was in the right.

I'm not going to post the whole letter here, just an excerpt, because I think as Valentine's Day is tomorrow an important lesson can be learned. And that is a lesson in how the golden rule applies to relationships. The excerpt is as follows;

Of course, right now, every guy is saying "Sounds like heaven to me!"

Child free.

Retired early.

Sipping martinis

Playing X-box

In a warm climate

Whilst being served by your gorgeous, scantily clad wife.

It really doesn't get any better than that.

However, as you notice, the lass who wrote this found this revolting, oppressive even.

Now here is where I think a fair amount of women (and a couple of guys too) can learn a lesson in love, though, no doubt some women out there already know where I'm going with this;

There is a man in a relationship. It ain't all about you. And that man is just as much part of the relationship as you are.

Of course we consciously or "factually" know this, but I wonder whether some women out there intuitively know this. Of course you're not going to be scantily clad 24/7. Of course you're not going to be serving martinis to your husband/boyfriend 24/7. But why wouldn't you want to do this occasionally, let alone find it repulsive and oppressive?

It is here the golden rule must be applied. Do unto others as you'd have them to you. And though I am just a lowly captain, it seems to me that the point of being in a relationship is to make that other person happy.

For example, your beloved Captain may be courting a young lass as we speak. The Captain does not like cleaning. The Captain does not like laundry. The Captain does not like going grocery shopping (this the Captain REALLY doesn't like because it takes so damn long to find tomatillos, and he could have just as easily gone to Chipolte in 1/10th the time to get food, but no she wanted tomatillos).

HOWEVER

Because the Captain's lass is working during the day time, has a busy schedule and (pay attention now) BECAUSE THE CAPTAIN LIKES HER he does not find it degrading, oppressive or beneath him to do the laundry. Or to do the dishes. Or to clean for her. It makes him happy knowing he's eased her life a bit. The Captain also works out and stays in shape, not a particularly exciting thing running on a tread mill and lifting weights, but presumably the girl doesn't want to date some fat, slobby schlep.

Now while men cleaning is not the same as a woman in a French maid outfit, they are two sides of the same coin. It doesn't matter whether you "like" dressing up for your husband, it doesn't matter if you "like" to cook a good meal, it doesn't matter if you "like" the act of fixing him a drink, all that matters is if you like him. And if you like him these "chores" are just part of the relationship just as a man SHOULD be cleaning up occasionally or fixing you dinner (or in the case of an utter lack of cooking talent, taking you out for dinner).

Ergo, ladies, women, and economists of the female persuasion, lend me your ears!

Just buy the damn outfit.

It's Valentine's Day and as any happily married woman will tell you the outfits score BIG points.

Now since the dawn of time men have been debating which are the best outfits. And after many years of studying, research, calculations, and field tests we have conclusive proof which are indeed the best outfits. They are as follows and ranked accordingly;

1st - French Maid
2nd - Naughty Nurse
3rd - Dirty Librarian/Teacher
4th - Catholic School Girl
5th - Corporate Executive
6th - Beer Frau (preferably with beer)

If you don these outfits come tomorrow, it cannot but help your relationship forever.

However, there is one final benefit to sexy little outfits and making your man happy, and I've alluded to this before. You are actually doing some community service in that you are doing your part to help stimulate the economy. I don't care what Barack Obama says about his $900 stimulus package, a legion of American women in French Maid outfits would stimulate the economy 10 times more. And I mean that sincerely, I really am not joking, it would.

So yes, do it for your boyfriend. Do it for your husband. And do it for your relationship. But also, be a patriot. Do it for America!

Kim Jong Il E-Harmony



In response to the end;

Don't worry, Obama will fix it.

ht

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Explaining Video Games to Women

Yep, that about sums it up.

All hypersensitive complaints about me being sexist and a misogynist will be summarily ignored.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

How to Solve Iceland's Problem

Here's a funny story.

Your captain, out of a combination of sheer curiosity, boredom and outlandish hope, sent an e-mail to the commerce department of the Icelandic government asking if they'd be interested in a quick fix for their economy.

What's even funnier is my idea would have worked.

And I don't mean that in a cocky, arrogant way. I meant that in a sincere way. One year and the Icelandic government's and Icelandic peoples' problems would be a thing of the past. The solution was so simple it was brilliant.

But like many other ideas I've had, they made so much sense and were so simple that when they were pitched to such brainwashed, automatonic dolts in management they were deemed too revolutionary, too simple and too outlandish (of course such "crazy" ideas including things like scanning documents in instead of spending hours filing the physical worthless paper, suggesting there was a Dotcom Bubble and maybe, just maybe we might want to do absorption studies for real estate, but again, "crazy" "outlandish" "unconventional.")

So I was always faced with a paradox. When it inevitably came to me leaving a firm (either willingly or forcefully) when they did an exit interview and asked why I was leaving, I wondered to myself, should I;

"A - Tell them why they're a bunch of effing retards, show them their weaknesses and explain to them how they could improve their efficiency and productivity

or

B - Shut up and be quiet in the fear that if I did tell them what was wrong and why I was leaving, there would be that infinitesimally small chance they'd actually listen and implement the changes, effectively getting hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of consulting without actually having to pay for it."

What I inevitably found out is that the skull of management is so thick you could with a sun powered LCD projector burn a power point presentation into their brains and they still wouldn't get it. The legions of management are so numb to new and revolutionary thought, they are condemned to obsolescence and being replaced by new start up firms (see Napster).

With that in mind I've decided to explain my solution to the Icelandic financial crisis not in the hopes anybody over there would listen (because they won't), but to have on record some dumb "crazy" economist had an idea that would have saved those poor Icelanders decades, if not scores of economic pain and suffering.

The idea, as I said was simple;

Lower your corporate and personal income taxes to zero and become a tax haven.

The low taxes, along with a geographic location between the United States and Europe would attract billions, if not trillions in new investment, capital and corporate headquarters resulting in an economic boom. Not to mention Iceland could pilfer the talents of all the advanced countries in the world who are basically being held hostage paying 50% taxes in their current countries. Poaching the productive talents from the other nations would only increase the future productive capacity of Iceland and make the current financial woes of 200,000 people look petty by comparison.

But like I said, such brilliance will only fall on deaf ears.

And the Names Are??????

I'm going to go out on a limb here and guess their names are more of the Mohammed strain than the Bruce strain.

Oh, and what's this? Green policies costing lives? Well, that's only because nature is more important than human lives. If you don't understand that, well then you're an ignorant, racist, mother earth-hater.

Update, just a matter of time.

I Project Unemployment to Break 10%

Figured it was time to refresh a favorite chart of mine which previous quants and economists berated me about, claiming it had no predictive value and that chart is housing starts versus unemployment.


Again, I like this chart because housing starts predict unemployment. So when housing starts tank, unemployment usually peaks 6-18 months later. A banker buddy of mine was asking me when I think unemployment will peak and I said, "Well, based on this chart we have at least another 6 months to go. If you notice the peak of unemployment happens 6-18 months AFTER housing starts BOTTOM OUT. We haven't bottomed out yet."

Now, given the severity of the financial problems the US is having, not to mention everybody has chartered the government with the job of getting the country out of recession, and the fact housing has tank to its LOWEST POINT ON RECORD and HASN"T STOPPED TANKING YET, I'm going to project unemployment will continue to skyrocket EASILY surpassing 10%.

The recession is just starting people. And with the spendulus, get ready for it to drag on and on and on and on, just like those good ol' New Deal Days!

Oh, but I'm sure we're OK with that. We got ourselves one good looking president and have assuaged ourselves of white guilt! I'm sure that's worth destroying the US economy!

The Only Good Che

Is a dead Che.


Happy day!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Movies that Most Frequently Use the F Word

So I am currently watching Midnight Run, which is my second favorite movie of all time. Great movie. If you have not seen it, you cannot get into heaven, because those are the rules. So get cracking.

Regardless, it stars Robert DeNiro and the F word comes up, oh, about every 3 seconds.

So I thought this has got to be the most Fword-induced movie in the history of man.

Typity type on the internet and low and behold....it isn't.

F Word Usage in Movies

Matter of fact, it's rather lowly ranked.

Surprisingly, the movie with the most frequent use of the F word is the movie "Fuck."

Monday, February 09, 2009

The Captain Teaches a Lesson in Love

Junior, deputy, aspiring, official and otherwise economists allow me to teach you the art of love.

The time rapidly approaches where American men show their beloveds their appreciation and passion for them. Where we don our dashing suits, pointlessly purchase plants that will die 4 days later, acquire the finest chocolates with the most powerful aphrodisiacs, and, yes, perhaps even bathe. Yes, Valentines Day is approaching and no doubt all you economists out there are preparing something great and grand for your beloved.

However, why do the traditional, same ole, same ole when you can make this Valentine’s Day special?

And I don’t mean that in a standard Valentine’s Day commercial “make this one special.” I mean that in a sincere,

“Do you really want to blow her socks off, not to mention her clothes” special.

“Do you want her practically pushing all the food off the table at dinner as she leaps across to have her way with you” special.

“Do you want her so stimulated you will not even have to bother going out to dinner because she will not let you out of the door” special?

Then lend me your ears, grab a pencil and start taking notes.

You have several options when it comes to making this Valentine’s Day special and they number 3.

First, what tells your beloved “I love you” more than the most authoritative book on the housing crash and financial crisis; Behind the Housing Crash, by yours truly? Sure flowers are pretty and chocolates are fine, but are they timeless as the economic wisdom you could share while cuddled up next to the fire on a cold February 14th as you read “Behind the Housing Crash. Oh sure, she’ll be so enraptured with chapters such as “The Economic Chessboard is Set” and “My Ex-Girlfriend Was Subprime” that you’ll be forced to take breaks from the reading, but isn’t what was books on economics are for? To sexually arouse people?

Second, women love a man. A real man. Not some feminized, sensitive 90’s pansy man. Not some Anderson Cooper metrosexual. They like a real Sean Connery, Daniel Craig, John Wayne, Captain Jack Sparrow type man. And what, I ask, is more manly than contributing to GDP? You see, real men contribute to GDP, those that don’t are by definition dependent upon others and are by default not REAL men. They’re parasites. They’re losers. They’re welfare bums. But a real man, he contributes. Oh he may not contribute as much as Bill Gates, but as long as he contributes (or at least is part of the labor force), he’s a real man. Remind her of your manliness and buy yourself this girl-getting shirt. Your beloved Captain wears one and by God, I'm always swamped with ladies once they see me wearing that shirt (warning, shirt does not come with the big stick necessary to beat all the girls away with).

And finally, the gift of dance. Remember, dancing is not about you, it's about her. Specifically it's about making her look good on the floor so she can usurp all the attention in the joint, not some kind of fangled story about you two being together and moving together in a romantic way(sorry men, that's really what dancing is all about. Why do you think women want to dance so much?) Regardless, capitulate to her desires and learn to dance. You have two options;

1. If you live in the Minneapolis area you can always sign up for the dance classes the Captain teaches through your local school district or

2. If you don't live in Minnesota, fear not! The Captain has instructional videos AND ACCOMPANYING music that can be mailed to you (besides which, you get to see him with a different girl in each dance video as the Captain...er...ahem...had a lot of uh "dance partners" in his youth)

For a complete list of dance options click here or if you have any questions click here.

It's Not Your Fault

I call my buddy Alejandro to see what he was doing yesterday. He's wasn't doing much and since he's from Mexico, I thought he might find it novel to partake in an American pastime;

Shooting assault rifles.

He had never shot a gun before so I brought my little arsenal with and we headed out to the range.

En route to the range, I asked him what he had been doing with all his free time, because unfortunately he, along with 2,500 other engineers got laid off at one of the larger employers in town. He said he was looking for another job, talking to recruiters, applying, etc., but then he said something that made me quite angry. Not at him, but in general;

"I'm also going to this workshop where they try to help us out with dealing with the stress and the shame that comes with getting laid off."

The "shame?" I thought to myself. Why would he have shame when 2,499 other people got laid off? Fear of not being able to pay your bills, I could understand. Annoyance due to the fact you would now have to restrain your budget and not afford certain luxuries, OK. But shame? Why would you feel shame?

Sadly, it's a story I had heard before. Not more than 2 weeks previously another friend of mine was laid off. A computer programmer. He was telling me how he couldn't bear to hang out with us, his friends, because he was too ashamed he had been laid off. He was in a 2 month depression, holed up in his house, before he got another job (and found the pride to start hanging out with us again).

Another friend of mine just last Thursday was laid off, and though nowhere near as distraught was certainly down and depressed about it. I was keeping somewhat close tabs on her particular employment situation as her boss would constantly berate her for not meeting sales goals, ignoring the fact the economy was in a recession and that sales across the company were down. But despite the psychopathology of her boss, she still felt a little bit of shame.

So let me lay it out for all of you out there who are getting laid off once and for all;

It's not your fault.

Pure and simple, it's not your fault.

I'm not saying this to make you feel better. I'm not saying this to get you in the "cheer up camperoos! The sun always comes up tomorrow. And you should be happy little people, because if you're not perpetually happy, then you have psychological issues and need prosaic!" brainwashed-modern-day-American-mandatory-perpetual-happiness-sort-of-way.

No, I'm saying it because it's true.

It's not your fault.

The reason it isn't your fault is multifold.

One, we're in a recession.

Oh, I know your boss may have berated you and harped on you and told you, you weren't cutting it. But don't kid yourself, the reason for this added pressure is because his boss was pressuring him to boost sales because the regional manager was being pressured by his boss to cut losses, because the president and CEO has noticed the stock price tanking and isn't going to get his bonus this year. And the reason the stock price is tanking is because we're in a recession. A recession, I might add, management should have known was coming years ago and should have prepared for it, but are so incompetent and late in dealing with it, they now have to have massive lay offs.

This is what you must understand from a macro-economic perspective. When GDP contracts at 3.8%, it doesn't matter how good of an employee you are, demand for your firm's product, and thus labor goes down. The company cannot keep you on, not because you're not pulling your own weight, but because there just isn't demand for your labor. If anything, management should be criticized for hiring so many people in the first place, only to lay off again in 6 months when the economic indicators suggested a recession was on the way. It really is something to view as "nothing personal."

The second thing I wish to point out is the childish, assholeic (which is a word I just made up, but is the only way to describe it) behavior some managers have where they lack the maturity to be forthright with their employees and instead insist on blaming the problems of the macro-economy ON THEIR EMPLOYEES!

This enrages me because you have a person in a position of power, a position of authority, falsely blaming their staff for the problems of the company. The reason they do this again is that management is responsible for maneuvering the company through choppy economic waters. Management is responsible for making the decisions, developing the policies and implementing the strategies to deal with the outside environment. And since they are so inept and incompetent that their policies don't work, they don't have the intellectual honesty to admit it was THEIR decisions and THEIR fault that led the company to the dire straits it currently now faces. Ergo, since their bloated egos can't handle it, they blame their staff.

I hear endless stories of my friends being flogged to produce more sales, to make more loans, to sell more cars, despite this being the worst economy since the Volcker Recession. And if they don't, well then it's not the economy's fault, it's their fault and they should feel ashamed as the door hits them on the ass on their way out. To blame an economic crisis currently estimated to cost $2 trillion not on the sub prime deadbeats and corrupt banking system, but because my friend didn't sell enough couches is not only laughable, but hypocritical and typical of management today. Perhaps we should blame the chef of the Exxon Valdez for it running into a reef and not the drunk captain.

The third and final thing I insist you must understand is that your "supervisors" are NOT your SUPERIORS. And I think this takes a little more psychological thinking than normal.

Just because somebody is your boss or is older than you does not make them BETTER than you. Oh sure, back in the day that may have held, but today it absolutely does not.

When historians look back at this recession it is going to be a shameful period for the Baby Boomers for they are the ones who were more or less at the helm of this financial disaster. This is not to foist all blame on them, as there is certainly no limit to the amount of idiotic, disgusting, entitlement mentality driven Gen-X'ers who more or less make up a plurality of the sub prime dead beats and thus are also to blame, but at the helm of all the financial institutions, regulatory institutions, governments and corporations were the Baby Boomers. And they were asleep.

Be they bankers who disregarded any semblance of risk management in an attempt to enrich themselves through commissions, be they middle or senior managers who blindly flogged their staff to boost sales to make bonus at the expense of the integrity of the firm, be they auto manufacturing firms who had not the pair of cajones required to face down the union and basically admit to the reality "we can't afford to keep paying you this much," or be they the politicians and government leaders who instituted policies that channeled trillions to sub prime deadbeats all to buy votes from the degenerates of this country, in all cases sanity, logic, integrity and real leadership were forfeited for short term gain. The decisions being made by the leaders of these institutions were so horribly wrong, misguided and short sighted it is impossible to blame the ground troops over the officers for losing this war.

Of course to blame your elders or supervisors requires some bold and arrogant thinking. You are basically saying, "I, a younger, not-as-experienced, INDIVIDUAL claim to know more than the older, wiser and more experienced MASSES." But all one has to do is look at the empirical data. If the bosses, supervisors, leaders, governors, regulators and elders were right, would we be in this financial debacle? If they were competent, would we need trillion dollar bailouts? If the heads of these firms, the "elite" of Wall Street and other banks, we so god damned gifted, would they require taxpayer money? If they knew what they were doing and were thusly entitled to the rank of "supervisor" or "manager" or "boss" or "executive" would the company be in the red with its stock price tanking, along with the rest of the stock market, impoverishing us with the destruction of our 401k?

Once you understand this, then you will realize why you should have no shame. And not only why you should have no shame, but why you should have pride in getting let go by one of these Titanically-doomed wrecks.

In the meantime do yourself a favor and pour yourself a Fat Dachshund (1 part vodka, 1 part white creme de cocoa, one part baileys). You've earned it.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

Minimalist/Modern Art #2

I had tendered a theory as to how minimalist/modern art, which sucks, ever got popular and thus far this is the most authoritative (and interesting) explanation I've received. It is quite long, so I once again, allow you to pour yourself a martini and enjoy (more shorter posts however are below);

________________________

Hey Cappy, well I just noticed your blog post about minimalist art and architecture, and I know all about the history of how this crap got started (or some of the history). It ties right into the history of socialism and fascism and communism and modern science. Lemme try to explain; I'll start with architecture:

As much as I dislike conventional religion, the one thing you cannot knock conventional religion on was that it almost always resulted in beautiful architecture in cultures. Architecture was considered the highest form of human achievement. It was also based on a set of geometric principles (which have mostly been lost by the modern "profession" of architecture). These principles of geometry are somewhat covered in a book called "Sacred Geometry" by Robert Lawlor. Basically these geometric principles are recognized by your subconscious, i.e. even if you don't know them, your brain does, which is why if you look at forms of architecture that were designed using these principles of geometry, whether Greek, Roman, Gothic, Egyptian, French, etc...whatever architecture, they all look beautiful, whereas with "modern" architecture, it looks totally whack.

However, when the Renaissance hit, even though this was the time of enlightenment, reason, and the rise of science, it had one problem: it also meant the beginning of the death of architecture. You see, historically, as said, architecture was always grounded very much in religion. But with the age of Enlightenment, the "intellectuals," who believed completely in science, rationality, and planning, began to see this religious-based architecture as nothing but "decorated shelter." It was not just decorated shelter, as it is grounded in geometric principles, but the intellectuals were unaware of this, and this artform was dying out (this adherence to science and rationality also is what led to the rise of fascism, socialism, etc...).

Then came the industrial revolution, in which science, "reason," and the idea that society needed to be centrally planned began to become the norm amongst the intellectuals. The idea of the free-market and all that was nonsensical to them. For an egalitarian society, society needed to be centrally planned. And people needed to be controlled. Told what to do.

Enter the beginnings of modern architecture and modern art.

Because of the emphasis of strict rationality, and on the belief that conventional religious-based architecture was just decorated shelter, the schools of architecture began to totally reject those old views for newer ideas of architecture. New architecture was to "scientific" and "rational." It was to be strictly for "function." Not form, beauty, none of that "crap." Just function and rationality. Logic.

Like the Borg would design it I guess one could reason. The classical geoemtrical principles for designing architecture began to be lost.

If you look at the history of many of the founders of the modern architecture and modern art movements, they tie right in with the Nazis and fascism (one architect even tried to start an American Nazi party). Many such architects also hated capitalism and Western civilization I believe. Modern architecture is, at its core, fascist. Remember, fascism, socialism, etc...all were movements emphasizing the rejection of religion, and the dominance of strict logic, rationality, and central planning of society.

What was so ironic is in reality, this so-called "functional" architecture was in reality completely un-functional oftentimes. You couldn't live in it. And it did not meld well with nature. Meanwhile the so-called "decorated shelter," was actually very functional and rational.

Architecture, in order to be liveable, has to fulfill what is called the "cave concept." We humans have programmed into our evolutionary genes the need for security from the forces of nature of course, and the base area of such security is originally a mother's womb. When humans are born and working to survive, they seek a secondary version of that womb, albeit subconsciously. The primitive humans sought it from "mother Earth," via caves. A cave provides shelter and is provided by the Earth, the "mother." it is dark and cozy, even if it is a cave. If there's a hurricane outside, a cave is great.

With buildings, homes must meet this same caveman concept. If you go into a home and you don't feel warm and cozy inside, and private, it isn't fulfilling this caveman concept. Well much of this modernist "rational" architecture did not fulfill the caveman concept at all. It was far too open.

Although the "elites" in the art and architecture and media worlds love to praise these crazy designs put forth, and used the term "reactionary" to describe folks like Treasury Secretary Mellon when he put up buildings designed in classical architecture, you will notice that none of these elites ever live in such architecture.

The entire home-building industry is dominated by classical architecture-based homes. Only the extreme environmental types or dedicated Marxists and so forth will live in the ultra-minimalist stuff. The home building industry remains dominated by classical designs because, as said, that is what the human mind recognizes as normal because it is based on geometric principles that all people recognize as least subconciously.

If you notice, for all our great technology, engineering, scientific prowess these days, architectural development among humanity has literally died. It's gone. In the past, great architecture was the pinnacle of a civilization's achievement. It's art, it's engineering, it's religion, etc...were expressed through its architecture. But now, that is gone completely. Architecture instead is very degraded. The reason being because those sacred geometric principles, which all cultures in the ancient worlds were aware of, have been lost. All of the great architecture is the classical stuff from the past. Egyptian, Greek, Roman, Persian, French, Gothic, English, Middle Eastern, etc...there is no new architecture designed in modern times that can match the classical stuff.

Yes, those big corporate skyscrapers made of glass and steel are beautiful objects in terms of how they light up at night and reflect light during the day, but they are really just gleaming rectangles. There is no geometric principle to them. And yes, they are great attributes to human engineering, but again, not architecture. Just engineering.

They are also the ultimate expression of the phallus (penis worship). You will find that reverance of the phallus and reverance of the vulva pop up in architecture throughout history. for example, the shape of the Catholic churches is that of the vulva and a woman's womb.

A prime reason for this lack of development in modern architecture is because architecture takes generations to develop. It you look at the great architectures, it's not like some guy just said, "Hmmm....I'll design a new form of architecture," and out comes the Cathedral or the Taj Mahal. Such architectures were developed by multiple architects and designers, over years and years, generations and generations even. Yes, a single building using an existing form of architecture may be designed by one architect, but the particular architecture itself takes generations usually to come forth (so the designer of the Taj Mahal was using an architecture form already in existence by that time, developed by many before him).

One can in particular see this in how the Greeks started off, and then the Romans took what the Greeks did and advanced it a good deal further.

Today, there is none of that. Architects are just expected to come up with their own stuff. As a result, an architect may sit down and try to come up with something original, but highly unlikely will any architect suddenly "invent" a new architectural style that can match the beauty of the classical stuff. No one has yet to come out with a totally new architectural style that matches that of the great cathedrals, or the Islamic architecture, or the Greeks and Romans in terms of beauty, but is actually designed in modern times, where if the ancients came into today, they'd be, "WOW, awesome new stuff guys!"

So instead, we end up with the most assinine architectural designs ever thought of. And worse, they aren't even attempted to be rational nowadays. They challenge the engineers to figure out how to build them! They also assault the human mind. The "elites" may praise them, but to a normal person, it's like, "WTF!?"

And worse still, architects these days are expected to be "fashionable." Now obviously, if creating a great style of architecture that is totally new and original takes maybe a couple of generations, it is thus a recipe for disaster if architects try to be fashionable, and thus we get such crazy, insane designs.

An architect can only really be original in a classy sense these days by taking all the classical forms of architecture and combining them to create hybrid styles, for example a home half French and half Meditaerranean, and so forth. Such architectures are also very beautiful. Look to the luxury home market for such beauty, in particular the homes that run like $5 million and up. Here is an awesome architect who designs such homes and an awesome website:

http://www.dreamhomedesignusa.com/

An awesome book on this subject which also will lead you into other books and talks about the fascism element of the history of modern architecture is the following:

The Return of Sacred Architecture: The Golden Ratio and the End of Modernism, by Herbert Bangs. I highly recommend it.

I also wonder about furniture too. If you look at the classical furnitures of the cultures of the world, versus "modern" furniture, it's like the same thing; there is no furniture designed in modern times that can match the classical stuff. It's all either the classical, or based on the classical designs, or it's some very crazy "modernist' furniture. Furniture historically was based off of architecture if you read about it.

Alright, now onto modern art and how that got started. Although modern art ties in somewhat with fascism/socialism and elitism and all that, it has a slightly different history.

Historically, as we know, human art always strove to be as realistic as possible. Since the time the first caveman tried making pictures, they have sought realism as the highest ideal. The Greeks with their statues epitomized this. Portraitists were greatly valued among royalty and elites for their abilities and so forth.

But then came a little snag: the invention of the camera. Suddenly, virtually overnight, what had once been a prized skill, became virtually worthless. No longer did you need some highly-skilled, expensive portraitist to paint your picture. You could just get a camera. Granted, the camera gave only black and white pictures in those days, but it was enough to destroy the portraitists.

And suddenly, photorealistic art began to get thrown out the window. No longer was it referred to as "art." This took a little time though. Artists, in order to be considered artists, had to find a new way to express themselves. Hence came abstract art. Now originally, an artist, to be accepted as an abstract artist, had to first become a skilled photorealistic artist, but eventually this all got thrown out by the pigheaded elites in the art schools so that only so-called abstract art was accepted.

Now, there is REAL abstract art, as in it has real meaning, but this eventually got tossed out the window as well. A few buckets of paint thrown at a canvas in a fit of rage were considered art, but a beautiful photorealistic painting was not. Throughout most of the 20th century, any kind of realiistic art was considered trash, and only so-called "abstract" art was accepted.

This still is the case among the elites, who will use taxpayer money to put up ugly twisted pieces of metal that they call art because the free market won't accept it (and in NYC when Rudy Giuliani cut such funding, they accused him of infringing on freedom of speech, the bastards).

It got so bad that by the end of the 20th century, a cigarette box nailed to a piece of cardboard was considered art.

(Interestingly, as a sidenote, it doesn't seem like music was hit in this sense. Luckily the elites do not look down at classical music, but give great praise to the theme of Super Mario Bros. :D ).

One problem many people do not seem to realize is that photorealistic artwork is not art that could easily be replaced by a camera. There are pictures one can paint that one could never use a camera for.

For example, if you want a picture of two gladiators battling it out in the Roman colliseum, to hang on your wall, you probably need to paint it. If you want a picture of some fantasy world with a huge dragon and a knight, again, you need a painter. You can't take a picture of such a thing.

Thus, the camera, contrary to the naysayers, did not wipe out the photorealistic painting.

There are also the naysayers who will say, "How can photography be a form of art? It's just taking a picture." Well yes, but if you take multiple pictures let's say, and combine them into one very unique image, that can be quite fascinating. They do that in advertising all the time, for example.

You can also use photography, computer generated art, and photorealistic painting all combined to create fantastic realitistic art (as does the artist I am about to give you a link to).

Today there has finally been a revolt it seems against the so-called abstract nonsense. Yes, certain art, like Picasso, the work of M.C. Escher (very mathematical), and mathematic artwork of the Islamic world, are abstract art that is very fascinating and has meaning and even beautiful, but most abstract "art" is just pure BS. A picture that is ripped isn't art. A statue of a dung-covered Jesus is not art.

A VERY awesome artist you should check out is here: www.howarddavidjohnson.com - he is the epitomy of a photorealistic art painter who paints stuff you can't use a camera for! I love this guy's work.

If you are interested in some awesome classical luxurious interior design, check out Clive Christian: http://www.clive.com/home/slideshow.html

Hope this helps, that's a summary of how this whole modern architecture and modern art movement got started. Check out that book I recommended, it will lead you to other stuff if you're interested.

The modern educational system, the university system, feminism, modern architecture, environmentalism, eugenics, etc...all have their histories grounded in fascism.

Saturday, February 07, 2009

Coolest Guy Ever

Got this from a regular reader. He shall remain anonymous;
_________

There I was, teaching at the Univ. Of Kentucky on a one year teaching gig. When the weather got nice, they had an 'art gallery hop', I think it was the first Thursday of every month.

Anyway, I'm in this gallery when I see my favorite Hollywood actress - a really FAMOUS actress. Not that she's a great actress, but I mean the HOTTEST actress. I mosey up to her but pretend I don't know who she is.

We start talking small talk and I make her explain what she does and what movies she starred in. I've seen them all, but only acknowledge her bit part in a Star Trek episode. We drink wine, eat cheese, walk together from one gallery to the next. At the end of the evening, SHE asks me out to dinner the following night.

We exchange cell phone numbers and she gives me the address where she's staying. She suggests trying out a new Brazilian restaurant in town. I love Brazilian, so that's great.

The next evening I pick her up. She's dressed very casually but still HOT. She's waiting outside the gated community and she gets in the car before I can run around to get the door.

We get to the restaurant and I hold the door open for her. While we're sitting she gives me a lecture about how sexist holding a door for a woman is. I roll with it.

A Brazilian churrascaria is a barbecue meat place, but she is a vegetarian! So we have this awkward petty conversation while I try to eat as little meat as possible and she barely pretends not to be disgusted. Remember, she picked the restaurant.

By the end of dinner I'm exhausted by the empty conversation and her inability to grasp what I teach and do. The check comes and this MULTIMILLIONAIRE actress who scolded me for holding a door and invited ME to dinner doesn't reach for it and doesn't flinch to pay half.

I figure that a blow job in the parking lot is out of the question.

I take her home and even knowing not to expect a kiss, it's still awkward to say goodnight. Then SHE invites me to go horseback riding the next day, early. I've never been horse riding on anything larger than a pony, but I accept.

I stay up half the night wondering WTF happened. I Mapquest directions to the stables. Then I Google her and find out she's MARRIED to some race car driver. Definitely no blow job coming.

Next morning I wake up at 7:30 and I'm supposed to meet her at 8 and it's at least a 20 minute drive. There's no way I could shower, dress, and drive there in time.

I made the ultimate fold of a losing hand and STOOD HER UP. She never called me and I never called her.

That's my once in a lifetime story, but I still bow down to your dominatrix story.

Holy Biased Media Batman!

If ever there has been a time where individuals must think independently and on their own, and make a concerted effort to find the truth as the "guardians" of truth, ie-the media, have become so corrupted they have become pointless, it is now;


Seriously, and I genuinely mean this, WHY would ANYBODY read the Toronoto Star? What would be the point? You might as well read Nazi propoganda or Pravda. That's if they can find the time to stop orgasming over Obama and get around to writing some words. Jesus.

Thanks to SDA for the link.

Ht for the person who posted it.

Friday, February 06, 2009

Minimalist Art

Quick story, then I'll leave you guys for the weekend.

Friend of mine and I are driving through Minneapolis. We come across Ghetto's in the Sky, my former residence and he says,

"You know, you can just tell architecture from the 60's or the 70's because it looks like utter sh!t."

Which then prompted me to share a theory I had about 60's and 70's art and architecture in general. That the reason everything went from ornate Roman architecture, or stylish 1940's downtown New York American architecture to utter crap was that the people designing the stuff in the 60's and 70's were basically lazy bums who had no real talent. That "minimalist" art (otherwise known as "crap") came about as Baby Boomers who had rich parents didn't have to work for a living, but to make themselves feel good became "artists."

Now, normally the free market would punish their wretched abominations of "art," they would starve and hopefully find another profession...or just plain starve. However, this original set of trust fund babies had rich parents, and to make their "children artists" feel good about themselves (or just give them some make work) the parents would buy not only their children's art, but other parents' childrens' art. ie-it became a club of pity where artists who had no real skill, but had connections to the upper classes, could throw "parties" and "openings" to display their "ground breaking art" fully relying on the heart strings of their parents to buy their crap. And arguably, not just the heart strings, but the fabricated pride a parent would have being able to say, "My son is a great artist."

Thus the minimalist art form was born.

Now I know this is a theory. A theory formed from observation that during the 60's and 70's art and architecture went to sh!t. A theory formed by looking at "art" in the Walker "Art" Museum and realizing I could create half the crap on display. A theory also derived by noticing the Walker Art Museum is in the foothills of elite, babyboomertrustfundbaby central; Kenwood, and would basically be the playground all the Mark Daytons of the world would play in with the other talentless children of Kenwood. But I'm wondering if I'm right.

Does anybody OUTSIDE THE ART WORLD (ie-not biased) know the history of minimalist art and how on God's green earth such crap ever got popular in the first place?

Thursday, February 05, 2009

GDP Per Square Kilometer


Interesting chart. Nothing really insightful. I think the only conclusion I can make is that sand does not lend itself well to making GDP.

I Want His Skills

Though some girls would argue I already do this, heh heh;

Click on this one and then the next two.

Remember kids, sex and being sexy is evil.

Go to bible camp instead.

The American Herbivore Movement

There is the Japanese Herbivore movement, but you will see it "COMING TO AN AMERICA NEAR YOU!!!"

The article is spot on about some things, but it does miss the cause of it by a mile.

Japanese men aren't becoming herbivores because they're tepid or gay or meek.

Their decision to "drop out" is a shrewd economic calculation in that they realize their lives are finite and the costs of "marriage" and the barriers to entry for a "career" just plain aren't worth the amount of life they must sacrifice for what is a marginal and unsecure career, let alone a marriage more prone to divorce.

Don't worry, it's already happening here. The media can call it whatever semi-pejorative term it wants, but "herbivorian" it isn't.

It's just men "going Galt."

The Republican Party is About as Efficiently Managed as Lehman Brothers

Logic would suggest to me that if you are a political party or a charity or in general, a non-profit, probably key to your operations would be the use of volunteers. That this one aspect, voluntary work, would be a vital, if not, life blood aspect of your organization, and therefore not only would you do your utmost to do what you could to recruit volunteers, but should you be so fortunate enough to have people inquire or be interested in volunteering for your organization there would be a mechanism or process in place by which to process these people and implement them into your organization to their maximum effect.

Of course that’s what logic would suggest

Reality is a completely different matter.

Given the outright ass-kicking the republican party received from the wave of socialism taking over the US, I thought it high time that I do something beyond the blog and actually live up to the required stewardship a citizen has in a democracy and participate a little bit in politics. It wasn’t going to be anything grandiose, but I thought that maybe, with my background in economics, unrivalled charting abilities, and public speaking skills I would be able to do something for the republican party. Perhaps volunteer some time, give them a couple pointers on economics, show them some charts that would do an immense amount of good battling the forces of socialism and ignorance, or just how to grow a pair and plain argue with liberals.

So I sent an e-mail to the Minnesota GOP. A day passed.

Another day passed.

And soon a week.

And soon, enough time that I opted to contact the Minnesota Young republicans, a division of the Minnesota GOP.

I was informed that I should contact the head of my local chapter, which I did by leaving a message on her voice mail.

A day passed.

Another day passed.

And soon a week.

Inevitably, I did get a call back from somebody, but it was from the main GOP office that I contacted originally, not the local chapter. He informed me that he thought I would be able to do some good for the party with my background and said he’d forward my contact information to the local chapter of the republican party.

Three days later, I’m still waiting.

Now, I understand that people are busy. I understand that there are many aspects to a political party. But I have a hard time believing that if I had called the Obama campaign or the democratic party it would have been this much of a hassle, let alone this many weeks before they would have contacted me. Something tells me that key to the democrats obliterating the republicans this last election was not so much the ignorance people have about government finances or basic economics (though that does contribute), but they just plain have their sh!t together and the republicans are horribly mismanaged.

Now I’m not looking to become the next chairman of the Minnesota GOP. I’m not even looking to be some kind “leader” in the GOP. All I want to do is contribute my talents, however they may be used, to the party that best has the organization, system and machine in place to fight off socialism and do my part in perhaps saving this nation. But if the republican party is so horribly inept and completely mismanaged that they cannot simply harness or process WILLING volunteers into a force that helps the party, then what hope is there of them ever delivering a proportionate counter-defeat come 2010, let alone repelling the advance of socialism?

Perspective for Stimulus



Just a little perspective.

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

The Solution to Illegal Immigration

Heh

Post post - My god people, given the amount of critical comments I've received on this post, I think all of you need to pour yourself a drink and realize

IT'S A FREAKING JOKE!

Notice how the link is to a COMIC STRIP.

Suggesting HUMOR, not a serious analysis of solving the illegal immigration problem.

Federal Budget as a Percent of GDP

Given the talk about the nearly $1 trillion bailout, I took it upon myself to recalculate one of my favorite measures, government expenditures as a percent of GDP.


I like this chart in that if there is one simple chart that shows you we are heading for socialism and that Obama and the democrats are indeed socialists, this is it. Imagine, it was in 1900 that the US government only taxed us at a 2.5% rate. Then, after each successive war, the government has found it necessary to boost its take of economy to today, where including Obama's bailout, I estimate the federal government ALONE will take 30% of GDP in 2009.

Of course, this does not include state and local governments' take of GDP which now certainly pushes it above 50% in some states and makes it impossible to argue that Obama is anything but a socialist. You throw in nationalized health care and lord knows what else, and the US and its history of capitalism are quite simply over. And that is not hyperbole or rhetoric, that's just the sad simple truth.

Enjoy the socialism comrade! And don't say I didn't warn you.

Oh, and buy the book already damnit!

Sick, Disgusting People

I forgot to mention it when they broke the truce, but Hamas did start it again. It's an important distinction to make, because when Hamas and Israel start fighting again, the MSM as well as the international media will fail to make this vitally important point.

They may also fail to give this appropriate coverage.

I don't want to hear any BS from people criticizing Israel.

Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Sick Days

I remember being a kid and being able to scam my way into not going to school by the simple fact that if I woke up once the heard the heater kick in, and ran to the bathroom, I could sit on the toilet which was right next to the heat vent, put my head next to it, heat up my forehead and after 2 minutes of heat, run right upstairs, have my mom put her hand on my forehead and say,

"Oh, you have a fever. Better stay home."

The truth is that less than 10% of the "sick days" I had during school were genuine, and the same percentage of days I presume hold true in the adult working world. Since leaving home I have only had 1 sick day and that was when I had food poisoning. Beyond that I've gone to work sick, tired, perhaps a little hung over, but only once in 15 years did I ever take a sick day. Ergo, the following chart isn't a measure of relative healthy, but relative propensity to lie.

Monday, February 02, 2009

The Baby Boomers' Worst Nightmare

Conventional investing philosophy is that the stock market goes up and down, but over the long run, stocks generally trend upward. This simple principle is what over $10 trillion worth of 401k's, IRA's, pensions and other retirement vehicles are based upon, as well as pretty much every Americans' retirement. Ergo, yes, stocks may be down, but "don't worry, stocks go up in the long run, now might even be the time to buy."

Alas, I think I need to remind people of what happened to the last 1st world nation that suffered from a stock bubble and a housing bubble; Japan.

You see, Japan, back in the late 80's was growing by leaps and bounds, imminently approaching its WWII rival in terms of standards of living and economic power. Because they were destined for greatness, Japanese stocks and property were destined for great price increases. So great that the price outstripped any realistic notion of profitability or rents those stocks and properties could feasibly generate. A bubble formed, then popped and HAS NOT RECOVERED IN THE PAST 20 YEARS;



The moral of the story is that this is a very likely scenario for the US as well and throws a little kink into everybody's retirement plan. Oh, I know Goldman Sachs and American Express and whoever else out there said you can rely on the stock market to provide 10-11% annualized return, but you see it is quite possible many people will never see their 401k's recover, because, well, you can't just live off of increasing asset prices. Profits have to increase as well. And given the utter distaste Americans have with producing wealth (not to mention Obama's insistence on punishing it), a very Japanese like 20 year period of economic malaise and stagnant stock prices is certainly a possibility.

Enjoy working till your 80.

Sunday, February 01, 2009

Capital Flight and Brain Drain

When society degrades and deteriorates, those with the slightest bit of competence and promise start to look elsewhere. And although, this is not politically correct, nor popular (which should make it golden) anybody with any skill or game in the US should start to look elsewhere.

The US is collapsing.

Oh, I know, disregard that random, rouge, rugged blogger, he knows not what he speaks of, but yeah, I'm sorry, my heart felt opinion is that the US is collapsing and if you have any desire to actually produce something of worth for society or have a life for yourself, jump off this Titanic, parasitic socialist wreck and find something else in life worth pursuing, because we're going down.

I don't know how long I've suffered tolerating limitless numbers of "sociology" majors and "journalism" majors who no doubt are the rank and file of the Obama Messiah Saviours of us all, but in the end it will not deliver the results necessary to pull us out of this recession/depression. The sad, truth of it is that nobody in this country is willing to learn the necessary skills or trades required to produce the goods and services that the rest of the world wants, which would actually produce the wealth/value that would give merit to the US. This is a rotting carcass of spoiled brats who believe that since they exist they are entitled. And since they are entitled, why should they work. And since there is no work....well, you know where that childish philosophy leads.

Ergo, I tender a proposal to all the nations in this world. Though nations are governments, in the end, no matter how much you'd like to theorize otherwise, the free market and competition reigns supreme for it is reality. And if you wish to become a great nation, then you will realize that a nation is only as great as its people. And if you wish to be great, then you should by default, wish to attract great people. The question is how.

Do you tax the living crap out of them?

Do you punish them with corporate taxes and drive the Bill Gates away?

Do you parasite off of them, absconding with their producitivity to bribe the masses to vote for you knowing full well you've driven them, and real economy productivity away?

Or do you become a revolutionary and actually attract them by letting them retain the majority of the fruits of their labor?

Do you let people form corporations and entities by which THEY have deemed most efficient to deliver goods and services most cheaply and most affordably and stay the ef out of it?

Do you leave the them hell alone and as a government promise them the most basic of services without interrupting and interfering with issues that are of no concern not right of the government?

Ergo, let me tender a crazy, insane, revolutionary thought in the apparachicks of governments around the world;

Since a country is only as great as its people are, why don't you take advantage of the greatest opportunity in the world and pilfer from the United States all their productive and talented citizens?

Seriously, do you think the average productive American likes subsidizing scores of parasites? Do you think we productive members of America like paying for welfare bums, social security frauds and others who have never had any intention of producing the wealth necessary to support their own lives?

American producers, the workers, the toilers, the enterprenuers who created the largest, most powerful most successful economy in the world are simply there for the plucking. You could poach them and then instead of these hard workers slaving away to support the parasitic masses of the Obama world, work instead for your nation.

Oh, I know that would have to result in you lowering taxes and actually being honest with your citizens that they (GASP) have to support themselves, but think of the economic productivity and growth that would occur if you were to take the best from America with the simple promise that you don't indenture them to economic slavery and let them keep 90% of what they earn?

It is the simple concept that even though you are a government, you still compete in the international world. And any government smart enough to poach the talent and productivity of labor from other nations by (again, GASP!) LETTING THEM KEEP THE VAST MAJORITY OF THEIR LABOR, you will become the greatest nation on the planet.

The question is whether you want to punish productivity and reward stupidity (as Obama is doing with his bailouts) or reward productivity and punish stupidity (which I see no nation doing right now).

The simplicity of this strategy is so simplistic, only government bureaucrats couldn't see the low hanging fruit that is in front of them.

"Disproportionate Response"

Good.

Glad to see somebody in Western civilization grew a pair.

Was beginning to think I was the only one.

I Have Posed This Question Before

http://www.leasticoulddo.com/comic/20090110