Tuesday, April 19, 2016

Why You Don't Understand Trump

OK old people.  I'm going to try to explain it to you.

I know it will be like explaining the internet, Microsoft Excel and other technological advances you've steadfastly refused to understand, but were ultimately vain in trying to ignore, but we're going to explain Donald Trump to all you fuddy duddies, especially you establishment republican types.

You may hate Trump.
You may loathe him.
AND you may have every right and reason to do so.

But he is still better than the slop you've been serving since Ronald Reagan took office.

That's 30 years of slop.  From the Bushes (both father and son DRENCHED in nepotism) to McCain, to the billionaire white boy socialist named Romney, you have served SLOP to the real, everyday republicans of America and they've eaten it up because it was better than voting for genuine socialists.

But you throw in the shitshow that was known as Boehner and Ryan, and the absolute cowardice that the republican house has been since, not to mention Gen X has seen talk from only Rush Limbaugh, and only massive expansion of government under Bush Jr., it is very apparent the republican party just isn't cutting it.

You're failing.
You're losers.
You couldn't protect the constitution if your wife's loyalty depended upon it.

No matter what you say, no matter what politician you throw forth, you have lost 100% of the GENUINE, REAL republican American constituency, and we are now voting for anybody (and I mean ANYBODY) who isn't a career politician and actually might make a change.

The key thing to understand (and I know that's hard for you lazy, fat establishment types, not to mention baby boomers who are stuck in the Nixon era) is that no matter how much you HATE and LOATHE Trump, the American republicans HATE AND LOATHE you even more.  They're sick of your non-performance, they're sick of your corruption, and they're sick of you impotence and incompetence.  They are so sick of you they'd rather vote for what is clearly an opportunist over your "best" candidate you present forward because he is at least "different."

And that is how sad and pathetic you've been these past 30 years.

It merely takes somebody who is "different" to beat your pretty boy polished Cruz.

The confusion you have is how can a charlatan like Trump just come in and whisk away the vote.  How can somebody with a very grey business back ground, not to mention crass and lewd demeanor, present such a threat to the establishment Republican party.

You need to realize the problem is not with Trump, but that it is with you.  YOU are the problem.  YOU are the ones who failed.  You are so corrupt, but more so, inept and cowardly that the real Americans would rather vote for a potty-mouthed, straight shooter, than any of the "Slop v. 3.0" you're going to serve up this round.

I know most of you purport to espouse "free market" ideals.  Perhaps you should for once follow those ideals and listen to the customers and deliver what they want.

Oh, wait, that's right.  You're a political party no better than the democrats.  

Guess we're just going to have to replace you.


that guy said...

Only objection to the column is talking as if ensuring their wife's Fidelity is a desired outcome for the republican establishment. The term cuckservative, I fear, may be more appropriate than it initially appears. I would imagine for some of the human vermin that have been forwarded as candidates, other men fucking their wives would be a turn on.

Tom de Plume said...

I think this is the first time that Cruz has been referred to as a "pretty boy".

sth_txs said...

Great post Captain!

However, Reagan was not really that conservative either. He did do some good things like helping American feel more confident and there were jobs for a time, but the expansion of government that occurred under his administration is one of the reasons why we are having problems now. Of course, he had help from what passed for Team R in the 80's.

Ronald Reagan, An Autopsy

As a disenfranchised Ron Paul voter, I'll probably vote for Trump regardless though some of his prescriptions are bad like all the others, I'm willing to give him a chance to shake things up before the alternative like shooting at each other presents itself.

Faithless Cynic said...

Excellent analysis as usual Captain. Another reason Trump is so popular is the fact that he might DO SOMETHING. Most Repukes and Demoncrats are open borders scum. These scum do not care if Americans starve as long as there is cheap illegal labor and more Demoncrat voters. Trump's " build a wall " speech resonates with underemployed or jobless Americans. After being underemployed for several years, I would build a fucking minefield to vaporize illegal invaders. I think a video of an illegal invader becoming red fog would slow down the illegal invasion considerably :-)

I changed my political affiliation to Repuke for the sole purpose of voting for Trump. I actually hope the RNC steals the nomination from Trump so they can lose all credibility and power.

Anonymous said...

I've almost stopped reading your stuff several times because of the baby-talk in your videos. It is whinny, unnecessary and annoying. You generally have well-reasoned content, so despite the annoyance, I come back.

Today, you purposely piss me off with the "OK old people. I'm going to try to explain it to you." crap. I'm old. I think. I act. Your condescending, lumping all old people into one logical unit has pushed me over the edge. I get the asshole consulting theme, as I have some of the same skill attributes. By Friday, you will have been removed from my daily reading.

Mark said...

Of course, to make changes we should elect a corrupt guy who's been part of the corrupt system for decades? We throw out the people taking bribes to replace them with the guy paying the bribes?

We're tired of liars so we hire a guy who lies even more than Obama? A guy who lies today about what he said yesterday?

We're tired of losers so we should vote for a moron (seriously, Trump has to have an IQ of 90, or he is perpetually sleep-deprived, or both) who is also a loser but just blames everyone else when he loses?

Hey Cappy you hypocrite: how many millenials/ Gen-Xers have you berated for blaming everyone else for their problems? Why are you incapable of turning that logic on Donald "perpetually whining about everyone else cheating him" Trump?

He'll be so tough as soon as he has an elected office. Sure he is perpetually triggered by people noticing his small fingers (so much so that he writes them for decades after the fact.

Sure, he's a true conservative, which is why he voted in a Republican primary for the first time last night.

Yah, he tells it like it is, except when he doesn't, or when he backs down or reverses himself in days or hours.

Anonymous said...

That was very well written. Good post.

Captain Capitalism said...

Anon 732

Then leave you whinny little bitch. Oh, and lick my balls on the way out, fucking boomer scum. Just remember when you cash your social security check you couldn't have lived without me paying for you you worthless parasite.

Anonymous said...

Who here has not enjoyed the s-show of this primary season? It took me awhile, but I am enjoying the decline in my own way. Keep voting! I'm sure all the problems western civilization has thrown upon itself, will be solved by lunchtime, by voting for the "right candidate"? Uh huh. Voting for crap is what has led us to our problems, and it won't solve them. So, as the the good Cappy says, and it's true, "Enjoy the Decline". Make the most of your life, your family, and your local community, because that's all you will soon have...

Anonymous said...

People forget that Reagan actually increase public spending while cutting tax.

If anything he started all this by saying we could have it both ways.


Anonymous said...

Even as Reagan did some good things, some of his policies have turned out to be disastrous. Funny how even Bush I called it "Voodoo Economics" until he saw it could get him elected.

Even so, you're exactly right, the dreck that party has put forth for thirty years is a pretty sad lot if it's the best they can do. That the public, even as college tuition has become unaffordable for many and good jobs are an increasing rarity, would rather vote for Clinton (Clinton??? AYFKM?) over their preferred candidates should be a damning indictment. Instead, they shoot the messenger.

And it goes without saying Clinton will never bite the big banks hands that feed her lying mouth.

Anonymous said...

@that guy: Same goes for the Dems. I imagine some other guy doing Hillary's wife would be a turn on for many of them too, including her.

Tucanae Services said...

"You're failing.
You're losers.
You couldn't protect the constitution if your wife's loyalty depended upon it."

My take is a little different -- "I am not voting for Trump the Man. I am voting for Trump the Weapon. Trump is my murder weapon, the GOPe is my corpse." As a person Trump is not my style. Lets just say, I would probably not invite him over for Thanksgiving dinner for he might mistake my request to bring the turkey and find McConnell at my front door. Baring that I will vote for the man cause the current drivel can't long continue. I am 63.

But give us some respect. We won the longest running war in history -- the cold war. Your generation never faced conscription by the Selective Service. And so far what went down in 2008 was mild compared to the double whammy of oil shocks, stagflation and Volcker.

Kristophr said...

Cruz was actually an outsider conservative candidate. The GOP establishment hated him.

Now that Trump is ahead, and the rest of the dwarves are out, the RNC bitches have started supporting Cruz.

I find this absolutely hilarious. If either Trump or Cruz gets the nomination, we win.

Kristophr said...

Anon 1152: Reagan was just doing what they all do: Give the plebes the spending they want while not making them pay for it ... right now.

The bill is coming due soon.

Veeshir said...

As we old people know, Trump is a huckster.

In the last 30 years, the only leadership he's shown is to get people to sign on to his hucking and then he declares bankruptcy and his followers get screwed.

When he's not hucking, he's Chris Christie without the gut or Rudy Giuliani without the leadership skills.

But, since we're so screwed, we might as well destroy the GOP to see if we can get an actual conservative or Constitutional party, so he could do some good.

If you're hoping for anything but that, well, you don't understand Trump.

Anonymous said...

@Tucanae Services
"We won the longest running war in history -- the cold war."
With all the respect, seriously? Because from my point of view it looks like you (maybe not personally but as a generation) sat on your rear and chewed up government propaganda. Your parents probably could sing the same old song about how puny all later stuff was compared to WW2.
Even if we take it for real that there was indeed a war, you've lost it by far - socialists rule your country.

Nice to see Cappy actually reaching some older folks for once, not just the usual college kids.

Anonymous said...

"OK old people. I'm going to try to explain it to you."

Alright then.

But Donald Trump is 69 years old and has been a Democrat until about a year, year and a half ago. In his lifetime he has led probably thousands of very smart and experienced people into independent business ventures (that's what developers do) and he has taken nearly every one those people for a ride. Most of those investors profited to some extent, but many did not; Donald always did (that's what developers do). But your righteous indignation has you seeing things much more clearly. You are going to play your predecessors like your sure they've been playing you ... by taking a ride with Donald.

Just a word of advice then, son: have a back-up plan. Make it something more substantial than a bug-out bag.

Teri said...

Concur. And as a 65 year old woman that does tech support, I get tired of the meme that we can't handle tech. Really, the last thing I need is someone explaining Trump to me.

Tal Hartsfeld said...

"Okay old people, I'm going to try and explain it to you."
Maybe a bit of sardonic ageism, but I can't see folks getting so unglued over it.
One should be free to speak their own mind, even if occasionally disparagingly. If one starts feeling they have to "repress" here and there transparency is liable to get lost eventually (or at least reduced).
We all have our "moods" and "attitudes". Writing is about self-expression, one's own feelings and attitudes. Where else, but the internet and blogging, are you going to get the opportunity to fully express whatever's on your mind?

Admin said...

Kind of surprised you're taking this stance on Trump. The guy is a fucking moron. I've hated him since at least 1987 when his book came out. I know he thinks he's some genius deal-maker but he is just some spoiled moron whose Dad handed him $100 million (money his dad made bilking the government through the FHA and HUD programs, btw).

All Trump has done is get sweetheart tax deals from the city of NY - i.e., he has made a hobby of fucking the taxpayers.


He's so brilliant, he managed to run a casino into the ground

He speaks at a fourth-grade level and gives zero details on anything, except to say "we'll have the smartest guys on that". He's popular with the rabble because they have seen him on reality TV and he's going to "make jobs again" or some such blather (no details except to maybe slap 45% tariffs on China - which will fuck us all as consumers...Smoot Hawley much??)

He's a fucking clown who has no CLUE about the Constitution: he's all for wiretapping and thinks Snowden is a traitor who should be killed, when in fact he's a hero for calling out the NSA.

Why don't you mention Gary Johnson as someone who should get your vote? He's on the ballot in all 50 states. And don't give me that lame-ass "he can't win" argument. That is for pussies and morons.

Never in a million years would I vote for that dangerous idiot Trump. I'll vote for Gary Johnson. Go ahead and tell me a Gary Johnson vote is "a wasted vote who helps put Hillary Clinton in office" - which is absolute horse shit. The clown who vote for Hillary are putting her in office, not me.


Karl said...

I think Cruz, McCain, etal should flip the Trump phenomenon on its head.

Trump is no politician but he just jumps in and scores double/triple against senators and governors.

If Cruz, Kasich, Jeb!, etc. are so great, why don't they go into business and build a $10b empire in half the time it took Trump?

My point: Trump showed up to win, and the field was ready for someone to walk into the GOPe board room and flip the table over.

This is the first time in my life my primary pick has a chance to actually win the nomination. I'm having the best time ever.

Anonymous said...


Is Trump better than Paul Ryan ?
I don't want Trump, I want Paul Ryan.

Captain Capitalism said...

Oh yeah dude, totally. Ryan was way better than Trump.

jadair04 said...

Good luck. js

Anonymous said...

The establishment actually doesn't like Cruz that much either. He was kind of a trouble-maker in the Senate, to say the least. I liked Paul Ryan, but he's taken a back seat in these last years. I wish he would go after Obama's policies like he used to or possibly get some form of legislation passed against the healthcare situation. The republicans have the majority, its time to step up their game, not sit back and get run over by the Obamamama train. Thank god they had enough sense to wait on this supreme court nomination. Although Trump may not have substance or stable policies, at least he has the energy and popular backing to revive the party. And whatever happens, if we get Hillary (AKA Obama 2.0 ^ Bill) or Bernie Commie Sanders, then US has gone down the road of irreversible damage. Trump is a blessing in disguise, I think, and the party should really be making use of this unique situation.