Saturday, March 03, 2018

Cue the Cats

As many of you know, I am increasingly for selling lies to people for three simple reasons:

1.  Telling people the truth only gets you punished and hated.
2.  Lies are much much easier to sell
3.  There's a larger market for lies.

However, whereas I was thinking there "lied" more profits in "lies," I'm not so sure.

For example, take the writers of Salon, Huffington Post, Jezebel, and whatever rank digital versions of the grocery-store-tabloids women solely purchase in the check out lanes.  Yes, I know their articles are all over the place.  Yes, I know they're forced in your face anytime you log out of your e-mail.  But have you ever looked up the authors of these articles to see what kind of digital clout they're carrying?

Usually (and sadly) they're no more followed or popular than you're ole Captain here.  Less than 3,000 twitter followers, barely a youtube channel, and a lexicon of work that is laughable, short, and pathetic.

This results in a paradox where these online media tabloids make it seem every woman is insane, every man is a war-mongering rapist, and everybody who doesn't share your skin color or plumbing is out to get you.  It's not so much "fake news" as it is brown journalism-editorialism, and this article is the perfect example of what I'm trying to describe.

Though it has all the fixings of what I will inevitably try to replicate when I start selling lies to people, if you look at the author of the book she is a nobody and her book is a nothing.  It only has 5 ratings, is ranked 1.7 MILLIONTH place, and ergo I can only conclude that even with online tabloid backing, the author and the online tabloid are failures.

This is a bit of good news if you think it through.  Not all women are rushing to buy books to explain why they are all "fabulous and wonderful and amazing" if they're over 40.  Saner heads are ruling and rank lies like the article and book simply don't sell.  Thus, just because it's front and center on Yahoo's page (a tabloid if there ever was one) does not mean it's happening in the real world.  Matter of fact you can almost assume the OPPOSITE is true.

Of course, this does not bode well for my future Lying Corporation idea, and perhaps this lie was just told too many times or wasn't big enough.  But it is nice to know that lies that are painfully obviously so are easily identified and not rewarded by your average human.

Guess, I'll just have to come up with more irresistible ones to sell to the masses when I start "Evil Incorporated."
If you would like to help "Evil Incorporated" you can make a donation here.
You can also buy my books on "EVIL" here.
You can also tune into my EVIL podcast.


Dwight House said...

Just so you know, there is some code in your webpage that is making my processor use well over 100%. It appears to be something regarding a google spinner, and I have blocked it to prevent it from using so much of my cpu.

It is called:

SM777 said...

The article missed a bullet point:

- You wanted to be a spinster but didn't know it.

I have met a few spinsters who are liberated and independent whether they like it or not. Yes, they are hating every minute of it and wish they had never been "independent". Most of them are "losing it" as a result.

However, when they hit around age 50, they start to really get honest with themselves and everyone else. But not a minute before age 50.

Bruce, the Devil You Know said...

It might be turtles all the way down in the stack of bloggers trying to get noticed, but they're actually all cats.

As for naming your new company "Evil Incorporated", Luciferian Holdings, a division of The Utmost Evil Organisation, would like to point out section 13920.18 of your pre-birth "soul contract" which states that you may not attempt to compete with either The Greatest Universal Good or The Utmost Evil Organisation, but that you may create a company of your own that serves the needs of either.

Hence your company name is only tolerated because there are already many versions of "Evil Incorporated" that are not trying to compete with The Utmost Evil Organisation, and if we had to enforce the "soul contract" on each and every one of them, there would be less Evil in the universe.

But always keep this in mind: you are A Lesser Evil that we tolerate only when you're doing our evil business.

Welcome to The Path of Evil, dark minion.

Anonymous said...

Cappy, you are just late to the game, the looters are already starving themselves:

Evolutionarily Stable Strategies ft. Richard Dawkins

Anonymous said...

Lies nor truth have any intrinsic value. It's the controversy that sells.

Take Tom Leikis or Stefan Molyneux.

They built their fortunes and success neither on lies nor truth.

What they did is offend one half of the population while delighting the other half. The offended part feel the need to defend themselves and participate in the debate and talk about the offenders, giving them free publicity.

The delighted part is happy to see the other part get offended and they join in and offer free publicity to the offender, because they get a feeling of redemption, retaliation.

It's all pure emotions. It's that simple. Divide and conquer.