I have, and will continue to contend until evidence proves me otherwise, that most people in America today who have children have children first and foremost for themselves, and somewhere after matching drapes, fancy SUV's and new shoes, comes the children themselves.
In other words, they never ask the question, "would I be able to provide a good environment for my child? Will I be a good parent for my child?"
No, the question is simply, "Do I want children?"
ME ME ME ME ME ME!!!!
Now I have caught mucho guff for heralding the benefits of being single and having no children. I got a vasectomy a long time ago and and it was one of the best decisions I made. But what particularly irks me is when people then accuse me of hating children, because it is the ultimate in hypocrisy.
I have actually THOUGHT about having a child.
I have actually considered the RAMIFICATIONS of having a child.
I have actually asked the tough questions of "WOULD I BE A GOOD FATHER?"
While most of my child-ridden critics have not.
And the fact I decided I should NOT have children because I would be a bad or inadequate father means I (ironically) would actually probably BE a better father than those with baby rabies in that I actually thought about the kid first.
So you can imagine me seeing red when I saw this article.
What I can only surmise to be a spoiled American Princess (anybody want to look her up to confirm if I'm right?) who has never given any consideration to anybody but herself, actually writes an article that so completely misses the point, it should raise the ire of any responsible adult and parent. The title alone is so contradictory and exposes her for the failure of a mother she is;
"Maintaining happy, healthy children during a separation and divorce"
Eh, hmmmm....let me see here. Could you maybe maintain "happy and healthy children" by...oh I don't know....
NOT PICKING A FREAKING MORON TO MARRY AND HAVE BLEEPING CHILDREN WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE???!!!!
But it gets better. A couple quotes from the article;
"Divorce is never easy the first time around, but learning from your mistakes can make the second divorce a lot less stressful when making decisions for you and your children"
Did she just say what i thought she did? Did I hear that right? She is preparing, EXPECTING a second divorce????? Forget he kids coming in around 4th or 5th place in her life. I think the kids are now ranking lower than the house plants.
"help our child have an emotionally safe, happy life as she will now have two families."
Yes, of course, that makes things simple! Two families!
Look, you morons out there, let me explain something to you. My old man has been married three times. You know what pissed me off as a child? Having to figure out how many gifts I had to buy progressively less and less important step-family members for Christmas. Do I send my mom and my new "Step-mom" a mother's day card? What about my step-dad? What about my new uncles I just married into? The budget of a 10 year old child is not limitless.
And of course, yes, TWO families makes it just that much more fun!
"By communicating with your child frankly, but lovingly, you will be helping your child to accept the new changes in their life that are occurring. This will help them become more adaptable to any future changes in their life."
Oh you think there might be some 'changes' in their lives too? THanks Ma, you got divorced twice. YOu've now doubled the kids chances of drug use, alcoholism, oh...and what else...ummm....OH YEAH! DIVORCE! But apparently divorce is a-OK in this woman's book. Perhaps you can celebrate when your children get divorced and try to explain to them why it's not only a good thing, but why they should be preparing for the second divorce that is sure to come.
BUt this takes the case;
"Separation and divorce causes stress on all parties involved--parents and children alike. In this second divorce, I've learned that regardless of how difficult it is and who is to blame, my children come first."
You disgusting, lying hypocrite.
CAPTAIN EPISODE 2 OF MLP MIF SEASON 2 IS COMING OUT TOMORROW.
This stream is going to have a marathon of My Little Pony episodes and fan made creations.
I hope to see you there.
Disgusting, lying hypocrite is right! What a waste of oxygen...
Am I wrong...or could only an American woman think of such self-contradictory, self-serving illogical drivel? And having the utter gall to put it down on paper? And to have it actually printed?
I remember hearing when I was a kid that another boy I knew was lucky because "now he has two families."
Not even close.
There's so much drivel justifying the obscene selfishness of people when it comes to relationships. Now that the data is in on single moms and their failed parenting and the effects of divorce on children, I just refuse to call any step-spaghetti of relatives a family anymore.
Family should be an honorable word, but now that it can mean anything it is totally meaningless.
Well done Captain. Did you notice the other article she wrote earlier in the year on the same site?
Mother's Good Examples Will Pass Down to Children from Generations to Generations
What a piece of work. I also noticed that she used her daughter's first name in this piece, and of course she shares her own first and last name. I'm fairly confident that the last thing poor Rachel wants is to have her friends read her mom's inane blather on what a great mom she is during divorce #2.
Two divorces? And I am supposed to take relationship advice from this idiot?
Look the problem is not a divorce. Those things happen. Things that are important at one age, sometimes turn out to be less important at another. People drift apart, and goals in life sometimes change.
The problem happens when you do not learn from your divorce.
This woman did not learn a single thing of substance from her first divorce, and it is extremely likely she will not learn anything of importance from the second. This "advice" she is dispensing is so shallow as to be meaningless.
What would be really good for the children? Oh, I do not know, how about marrying a man that you are really compatible with? How about not letting your hormones make the decisions for you before you move in and commit in front of the state?
The problem is not the divorce, it is immediately getting into another relationship that will result in divorce. And, this twit is a prime candidate for a third divorce (and possibly a fourth.) Bet she ends up marrying a guy that is just like the first two she kicked to the curb.
I ask again, how do we solve this problem? Ultimately, this kind of thing is, as you mention, caused by self-interest AT THE EXPENSE OF OTHERS. I know of nothing that will fix this except for an infusion of morality into society's core. When people really think of others first, yet don't allow them to take advantage of their kindness, society has a good foundation for capitalism and rule by law.
Interestingly, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is in some ways accomplishing this well. Never has turning the other cheek and patiently working through hate been so popular with the 16 to 30 year old male demographic since I have been alive. Makes me wonder if the creators of Friendship is Magic had this planned all along. You could argue that it is increasing the amount of manboyism, but this too has had a somewhat opposite effect, with 25 year old men saying "who cares what you think, ponies are awesome!"
Thanks for the stream tip Anon.
OK, I am so confused about the My Little Pony thing????
Dal, I couldn't read anything else she said. Would just drive my blood pressure up and I'm out to Wyoming to do some fossil hunting and I'm not letting it ruin my vacation.
The backbone of many of society's troubles today is that we have been teaching our children that the purpose of sex is to have fun. It isn't. The REAL purpose is twofold: to further the marital bond, and to have children. If you treat sex like a personal fun time without regards to this, you're going to wind up divorced with children, or a childless evolutionary dead-end (no offense intended to our childless by choice host).
Women USED to know this. That's why they get the talk in many cultures, and USED to get it in this one. Today's woman simply isn't trained to use her sexuality in a forward-thinking and positive manner. The cultural driver for women needs to change. Period.
"My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic" is the fourth cartoon with the My Little Pony name. It is notable compared to previous iterations for having very high production values, surprisingly deep story, well-developed characters, and was explicitly designed to appeal to audiences of all ages and both genders (though it is first and foremost aimed at young girls). The creators of the show have worked on several award winning cartoons in the past, and it shows.
The show manages to pull this off while remaining completely harmless. There is literally nothing I could find wrong with the show, morally. Coming from a very socially conservative Christian background that I still reside within, this is quite an accomplishment. In fact, a morally harmless tv show, even among cartoons, is otherwise extinct in my observation.
This show generated a cult-following almost immediately, especially in the 16 to 30 year old male bracket (guestimating on the exact age ranges). It and its fans are now one of the largest meme-generating entities on the internet. This new generation of male (and female) older fans of the show (commonly called 'bronies') often hang out on the subreddit for My Little Pony.
Because they love the show so much, many have put some of the show's principles into practice in their daily lives. Through their posts, I have observed them expressing classic Christian values with alarming (in a good way) passion. For example: turning the other cheek, or patiently and calmly enduring bullies, renouncing their arguments, to the point that the bully is on their side. Several people have discussed their surprise that actively seeking out peaceful and patient solutions to their real-world problems works wonders. Previously, they might have gotten into brawls, sought covert revenge, or retreated within themselves.
I only brought up My Little Pony because the first post did. You probably won't find much in the way of economics in the show, but you might be surprised by what you do get out of it, if you feel like taking a look at it sometime. All the episodes are on YouTube and streamed by numerous fans.
Yeah, I was starting to think that some viral article was going around about the subject or something, or maybe even Cappy posting something about it.
I suppose it is just a random thing flung into this forum.
Please don't abuse the semicolon.
Sex is NOT fun?????
Boy am I glad i left the church.
And that was before I hit puberty!
Just because fun is not the primary purpose of sex, does not mean that it can't be fun - but from either a secular or religious perspective, continuing the species is more important than a few moments of pleasure.
However, it is sad that religion in america must often be co-opted as a method of propagating 1950's suburban american values - you should note that some of what we today call "Christian values" were not historically such...most societal institutions, the Church included, have been co-opted to at least some degree by particular social agendas and memes.
Good thing that I look primarily outside the institutional church for guidance in how to follow my faith...actual faith, understanding, and leadership is sorely lacking today...
Yes, Cappy, sex is fun.
Building a house is fun, too, but fun isn't the point.
Go back outside and play.
I've read your blog for a while, and it is on this issue that you wouldn't be fit as a parent. You did consider that thinking of it makes you more apt than the idiots whose articles you seem to be reading (the double divorcee "lady"), but then brush that though aside. You asshole, that precisely makes you parenting material, and not just able to be a parent but one who should have kids. While I haven't gone the snip snip route, I haven't had kids or marriage yet either because, well pre-marital sex is just too much fun.
Thinking things through, considering the future and foresight is a main cognitive ability that sets humans apart from animals (and apparently this divorcee). All I'm saying is that people like yourself should procreate.
Considering that, you'd have to quit your protest and become part of the system; you'd have to end your John Galt stance. Big decisions. And tellingly, they're about society rather than your own personal happiness, a concept I find to be a crock of shit.
Well Sydney, if you're concerned about perpetuating the species, may I suggest you pick up my slack and have 2 more kids than you were planning?
In the meantime, I'll just be "suffering" my "faux" lifestyle of visiting national parks, fossil hunting, riding my motorcycle and eating sushi.
You're right, I am faking it. I'm so miserable.
Considering that, you'd have to quit your protest and become part of the system; you'd have to end your John Galt stance.
This is so far off the deep end that it's not even wrong. I consider the idea of become a part of any kind of "system", particularly one that I do not own or control personally, to be a mark of pure insanity. Once you become part of such a "system", you give up control over your own destiny. This can only lead to ruin.
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