Thursday, September 29, 2011

Death Bed Theory

Mercy almighty.

If there was one question I'd ask a modern day feminist it would be simply this;

"Is your life so pathetic, so vapid, so pointless, and so petty that you have nothing better to do?"

It again eludes to my "Death Bed Theory" of liberals, communists, socialists, leftists, professional activists and protesters, etc. That when the time comes, and they are on their death beds, they will actually rue and regret not doing anything real in their lives.

This isn't wishful thinking. I'm not saying this because I WANT it to be true. I'm being intellectually honest when I say I believe, deep down inside, they know their lives are nothing but a farce and their "crusades" or "political causes" they're championing are first and foremost to make themselves feel better, not anything as noble as the cause they purport to support.

But over time, and as they age, and as they witness other members of their generation produce REAL things and make REAL TANGIBLE contributions to society and in short make something REAL out of their lives, they MUST inevitably KNOW they're living a lie. This slow realization I can only see playing out one of two ways.

1. A powerful "rationalization hamster" in concert with an all-too-willing media makes them double down on "grrrrl power" or "going green" or "sticking it to the man" or "enter commie hobby void of calculus and real work here." In which case they live a progressively more lonely and lonely life, become progressively more conspiratorial (in that conspiracies are the only thing that is capable of refuting what they see empirically in their lives) and become progressively more extreme and angry (ever meet a happy old feminist with cats, or a genuinely happy male liberal in his 50's?) Sadly this path results in them on a death bed having to acknowledge they pissed away their one shot at life (and ironically forces them to "pray" their is an afterlife, which the majority of them poo pooed because religion is for "losers.")


2. They have an epiphany, usually brought about by a child, a marriage, near death experience, a check stub that shows how much money the government takes out, a job, a adult experience, they come back to the real world, join it, enjoy it and then go on to lead a truly productive and enjoyable life.

In short my entire theory is premised on them being willfully ignorant, which is a euphemism for evil. They know they're lying. They know they're doing it to economically benefit for themselves sans work. They know they're hypocrites. They know they're deathly afraid of real work, real math, and real effort. They fear real life and the real world and hide behind "victim" status to parasite off of others and make life easier for them.

But in the end, oh yes, the end. They must rue that decision to not try. They must regret not trying to work hard at a real job and truly support themselves. They must regret the years of youth wasted "protesting" this or "protesting" that. Getting petitions signed. Or chasing after members of the opposite sex for their "intelligence" or political beliefs instead of people they were viscerally physically nuclear hot for. They must wonder what it would have been like to drive a gas-guzzling sports car, or eat a juicy steak, or not care about faking to "care" about global warming, or to just dress up in a gorgeous dress or a sharp suit and be the center of attention at a party. Worst of all, I do truly believe they will regret not achieving their best. they will regret not trying. They will deep down inside know they had wasted the past 80 years of their lives avoiding the real world, never caring to participate in it, but rather parasite off of it and they, unfortunately, will never know what they could have done with that precious one shot at life

as they slowly drift away

and the tunnel vision sets in

alone in a government paid nursing home

where even their cats didn't come to visit them

and die


uncared for

and ultimately,


Post-post. From a reader and I have to once again hang my head in shame. Apparently there was a book written about crusaderism LOOONG before I quoted the term. Sigh, I'll never have an original thought. Though it is heartening (and confirming, I might add) that I arrived at the same conclusions Eric Hoffer and Ayn Rand did without reading one word of their writings.


Anonymous said...

have you read any eric hoffer? esp. the true believer. he was onto it from the start.

Arch said...

I'm sure there were earlier philosophers that also named and described those phenomena. Probably Greeks, maybe Romans. Perhaps even earlier civilizations like the Sumerians.

I mean the Greeks certainly had women described pretty well and we're rediscovering their wisdom as a society right now.

Just because it isn't an original thought doesn't mean you shouldn't post about it or point it out. That's what keeps the ideas alive in the general consciousness. When we ignore or forget about them, then we get trouble.

Captain Capitalism said...

Oh, agreed, just wish I came out with a REALLY original thought.

Actually, I have. "The Privatization of Governments."

The irony of course nobody wanted to finance it and so I just merely published it on Kindle.

What is going to be really great is when some researcher discovers me 1,000 years from now and I'm the new PLato. Because I am just so f-ing on.

Glenfilthie said...

Hell CC, I was saying everything you are 15 years ago - and I thought I was an original thinker at the time too! Take heart, you write much more eloquently than I did.

May I present my theory? We touched on this in your recent religion post:

Science and technology are not only negating some of the oldest human values, taboos and morals - it is also sticking it squarely up Darwin's ass.

Consider: in old days stupid mouthy people entertained the rest of us by being burnt at the stake, boiled in oil, fired off catapaults and having their heads adorn spikes on castle walls.

As science and technology progressed, we became industrialized and stupid mouthy people were put to work digging ditches and providing manual labour for their betters - or they starved to death.

Today there is so much wealth and surplus that even idiots can do well. In fact, some of our modern societies actively select for stupidity as a desireable survival trait - I submit Sean Penn and Al Baldwin for proof. It's not just Hollywood; look at your nation's capital: Barkie Obutthole, whatsis name with the Weiner, Teddy Kennedy, Al Gore...hell, we can't even pretend that any of these men are intelligent at all.

Liberalism is the credo of stupid people for the most part today. They are so feeble minded, they see guys like US as stupid people. Yet they cannot change their oil, or a tire, or set their VCR's or make their WiFi work...we have truly achieved a (temporarily) functional state of idiocracy!

I submit they die unhappy thinking that they were unable to win those crusades...and they probably blame us for it. In my scholarly opinion those people aren't smart enough to see that those crusades weren't winnable to begin with. They're born stupid, most of 'em will die stupid too!

The coming Decline will put quite a few things right, actually. You will see stupid people working back in the ditches and the slums - and not in the Whitehouse. Willful stupidity will become a thing of the past.

Adam said...

Y'know, every few posts I see someone here commenting to suggest that you read Ayn Rand.

For fuck's sake, do it already ;)

CBMTTek said...

Cappy: Do not worry, there have been, in the history of the human race, all of about 6 original thoughts. The fact that someone before you talked about crusaderism is meaningless, you are bringing your own knowledge, experience, and insight.

As to the whole "control the language" thing, this also was tried and true in the US for many years. The worst case I saw was when some feminist started saying women/woman should be spelled womyn. Not sure what men did that was so horrible that you felt you had to remove that three letter combination from other words, but hey OK if you want to.

As to the inevitable outcome of your run of the mill crusader, you are spot on. Two outcomes, they wake up, or (with very few exceptions) they end up old, lonely, and sad.

ScottH said...

This made me think of The Big Lebowski - specifically the scene where the Dude tells Maude his life story after coitus. Pretty pathetic, man.

Another bad behavior that comes bundled with crusaderism is a need to destroy what creative people make or legislate their production out of existence. As a kid I'd build fortresses and cities in the sand box - there were always kids waiting around just to destroy them when I left to do something else.

Daniel said...

Cappy Cap, it appears that the folks who write "Archer" agree with you about liberal arts majors.