Saturday, July 18, 2009

Associated Bank

I came up with a brilliant idea.

Since bankers were corrupt and would always try their best to get loans, no matter how bad, approved, and this would run contrary to the job of credit analysts whose job it is to guard the bank's capital and prevent bad loans from going through, I would outsource the underwriting process to an independent third part.

I called it "Independent Analytics."

I then drove around the Twin Cities metro, gave them my presentation about the merits of outsourcing their underwriting to me, and presumably the staff of analysts I would hire to handle all the demand.

Of course there was no interest because "they" knew what was best for the company and keeping the underwriting process in house and under the influence of commission driven bankers. Besides which they were fully "banking" on a bailout.

However, there was one bank where the gray haired, middle aged man assured me that they did not need my services, not because it wasn't a good idea, but because they had seen this housing bubble coming a mile away and their analysts were good, fine analysts.

Associated Bank.

Well, like many other banks, turns out "they" were not special and "they" had just as many bad loans as the next bank.

So to the middle-aged dumbass at Associated Bank (and perhaps any shareholders that are listening) allow me this one question;

"If you had hired the services of Independent Analytics, would you be in this situation?"

I didn't think so.


Anonymous said...

I think at times your political points of view and blunt attitude might hurt you from getting jobs or clients. Even though I agree with you 95% of the time, you just can't be so offensive. While it may give you some Schaudenfrued (sp) to see that happen to ABank, do you really think it would help your chances to gain them as a client by publicly mocking them? I'm positive people you interview with google you these days.

Captain Capitalism said...


That's cute.

Even when I did play ball I wouldn't get them as clients. If it were IT or engineering or something logical, then I would behave, but banking is so corrupt and so based on connections and cronyism whether I rip them apart publicly (which they deserve) or not, it wouldn't matter.

The idiots are still in charge (read the post I made about how already 3 people I know in banking that drove other banks into the red are now working just down the road at another bank) and no new blood with any kind of skill, talent or vision is going to be let into these clubs.

If anything, me ripping them apart and writing the book has actually gotten me a contract. Kissing ass and brown nosing gets you nowhere.

Anonymous said...

YES, man.

Anonymous said...

Would this be the same as the independent Bond credit agencies?