Wednesday, May 02, 2012

Can a Rationalization Hamster Be Killed?

Short version - meet 56 year old woman in my dance class.  She complains about not being able to find any quality guys her age in town, BUT I have a 54 year old buddy who would like to meet her, perfect age, perfect height (she is very tall, but he is even taller), and is quite good looking too.  I find some pictures of my buddy, e-mail them to her.  THen I get the,

"It's nothing against your friend, but I just got out of a relationship and blah blah blah blah."

I'm shocked, because here is a 56 year old woman - pretty late in the game.  Not like "top of the 6th no outs, first at bat," late in the game.  More like, "bottom of the 9th, 2 hours, full count, nobody on base, down by 12" kind of late in the game.

So I pitch one RIGHT OVER THE PLATE.  I serve up to her on a silver platter a very qualified candidate, and instead of her taking a swing at it, I get an excuse, the validity of which wouldn't pass 8th grade muster.  And so I sit there bewildered and befuddled.


Question - Can rationalization hamsters be killed?  Or do they just get stronger over time, inevitably becoming invincible and only die when their host does?



jaericho said...

Partly she was just complaining to complain. They don't want anyone to fix stuff for them. Then they wouldn't have anything to complain about.

Anonymous said...


Gentlemen please - what is a rationalization hamster??? I can't find it explained anywhere!!!

Unknown said...

Mine wore itself out years ago, trying to keep up with the gals. Every now and then it makes a little squeak, but I just give it "the look" (I was a substitute teacher) and walk away. It's not dead, but it's fairly well trained.

daniel_ream said...

A good question. All the women I know that don't have a hamster wheel never had one. I've never heard of someone realizing (generally too late) who's really responsible for their woes. As a rule they seem to just double down on denial.

Anonymous said...

Can a Rationalization Hamster Be Killed?



Anonymous said...

The hamster will survive so long as consequences for her decisions do.

Anonymous said...

Nice try at the white knight thing but ultimately wasted. Sometimes women just want to bitch. They don't want a solution to the problem, they just want to whine about it and elicit sympathy. You listen, nod, move on to someone else. The rationalization hamster needs to be watched as it runs on its wheel: "Look at me! Look at me! I am working so @#$%&#$ hard". Whenever a woman starts with the "Oh, it's so hard to find a man" routine, it is simply functionally equivalent to "I'm not Haaaappppy". They're not happy now and they were not happy with their previous guy (and there was always a previous guy), but rather than admit that they might have to change, they instead project the problem on to everyone else.

James Wolfe said...

When a woman says she wants something, actually verbalizes it rather than expecting you to be able to read it from her mind, you can be certain that she most definitely does not want what she says she wants. In this case what she is saying is that she hopes she never finds a good man because then she would having nothing to complain about to her friends and would no longer be able to play the martyr. Having something to complain about and have people feel sorry for you is unfortunately most womens idea of ultimate happiness. You are using your male problem solving skills for a problem she does not want solved. Don't feed the hamster.

Arch said...

What they said. Women don't want solutions to their problems. They just like to bitch and moan.

Anonymous said...

Oh my, gen X vs gen X, hilarious.

Unknown said...

The rationalization hamster is that part of your brain that runs at full speed but never goes anywhere. It's the mechanism for denial and justification. Whatever you want to believe, it's your hamster that finds a way to make your belief "true," in spite of overwhelming evidence to the contrary. It's mantra is "Yes, but...)

Men have hamsters too, but since they're not nearly as sheltered from the consequences of their beliefs, men tend to maintain better control over their hamsters. Men usually have to learn from their mistakes. Women, not so much.

Dave said...

My mother got the same reaction when she gave her eternally single engineer brother the photo and phone number of my sister's first grade teacher. My rather homely uncle didn't call her because she wasn't pretty enough.

Sometimes you just don't want to succeed, because then you'd realize how many years you wasted being a loser.

Unknown said...

A 56-year-old woman who might have been a 9 some 25 years before is a 1.5 now.

They never can seem to realize this.

The woman is a spinster -- a word that should come back and be used one self-deluded women.

sisterbrat said...

Yes, they can be killed. Im proof. However, I am also not dating nor looking to date. I do not think I would make a good wife and I do not want to be a back-up pump so that raises the "killed" question. Maybe it will rise up as some zombie critter if I ever do date again?

I guess we will see. So far though McCoy himself would say "He's dead Jim!"

It does involve consequences being met and shouldered but it also requires introspection, realizing something is not right, and self-awareness or a staring kernel of it. If that aint there, it is Wheel of Fortune time.

Anonymous said...

The parasite Toxoplasma gondii reproduces itself by altering the behavior of the rodents it infests, to make them more vulnerable to being eaten by cats. When the rat is eaten, the toxoplasma parasite is eaten along with it, and the parasite is then able to reproduce inside the cat, which is its natural home.

Toxoplasmosis is the most perfect analogy that could be found, for the rationalization hamster. If all goes well, the infected hamster keeps the woman single unto death, and her body is eaten by cats. As her own body is eaten, so is her inner hamster, and the lifecycle of the parasite is complete. The cat then sheds the parasite in its manure, infecting some other woman's inner rationalization hamster, and the cycle continues.

Interestingly, toxoplasmosis causes the rat to be attracted (rather than repelled) by the smell of cat urine, so that the rat is drawn to its doom. The affinity for the smell of cat urine is occasionally observed in cat-loving spinsters as well, at least judging by the aroma of their dwellings.