I'm driving down to Mankato, a regional town about 70 miles to the south of the Twin Cities. The problem is that my favorite radio show at this hour, Garage Logic with Joe Soucheray is on an AM station. Thus, as I drive further and further away Joe's voice is garbled out, progressively replaced with static and then intermittent excerpts of Jesus stations and country. Soon, the background noise is too much to handle and I click to KTLK 100.3 FM to rely upon their longer radius of broadcast. Who else is on, but Sean Hannity?
In his nasally pinched voice "Hello my friends" and all the people calling in "You're a great American Sean Hannity" I want to drive to New York or wherever he is an punch him. Not that I don't agree with him. Not that I don't personally like him. Not that I don't appreciate what he does for the country, but the whole idea that Sean Hannity has the SECOND most popular radio show on talk radio is annoying. And the reason it is annoying is not because of Sean Hannity himself, but because of the people that listen to him.
Sean Hannity is milquetoast. He's boring, it's predictable and it's cookie cutter. But that is also his audience. The stay at home mom that realized her child psychology degree wouldn't land her a job, ended up getting married, having a kid and now, NOW at the age of 40 while staying at home realizes than the past 22 years she was voting democrat all this time was wrong.
"Oh well! *giggle giggle* I guess at least I got Hannitized!"
Or the college kid who couldn't defend himself out of a paper bag if he was really tested on free market philosophy and only does so to belong to some semblance of a club.
Or the mindless American patriot who thinks that because this was a great nation, it still is a great nation and since our greatness is great and because this is the greatest nation, then we'll continue being the greatest nation because of the simply fact we're Americans, and therefore we must be great.
And this is my main contention with the show, is his listeners. They are just as cookie cutter and predictable and mass-produced suburbanite home as his show. There really isn't a lot of depth. There really isn't anything but platitudes and pleasantries of that disgusting and annoying and Minnesota-fake-nice;
"You're a great American Sean Hannity."
"You're a great American too, sir!"
Oh just drop the fakeness, please.
No, but there I am trapped, forced to listen to Sean Hannity as my only other option is NPR or the Christian rock station.
I want somebody that is unique and real. Give me a anger filled, angst ridden, tirade-spewing Michael Savage.
Give me the incredible wisdom of Dennis Prager.
Heck, I'll even settle for the goofy, yet lovable Mike Gallagher.
"You're a great American! Hello my friend! Isn't America great! We're all great patriots eating at Applebee's shopping at Ambercrombie and Fitch. Communism sucks! And that's why this is a great nation! Hurray for us, we're all Americans! I want a suburbanite townhome with an SUV! Let's watch American Idol! I'll order some chicken quesadillas, but not too spicy!"
Ergo, let me at least beg and plead with the local FM talk station here in Minneapolis, KTLK.
Look, you poached all the good talent from AM 1500;
and (though I don't agree with it, he is the second largest radio show) Sean Hannity.
Since you got Jason Lewis and he's gone national, could you perhaps do the world a favor and replace Hannity with Joe Soucheray? It would be the nail on the coffin of AM 1500 and then you guys wouldn't have to be splitting a market that isn't big enough for two talk stations. Souchery would do immensely better locally, but could feasibly replace Hannity.
Besides, I wouldn't have to be forced into the horrible decisions as to whether to listen to Sean Hannity or NPR which leaving the metro area.