Friday, February 03, 2012

That's What You Get for Doing Business With Liberals

I had a duplex one time in Minneapolis. For the most part it was a bachelor pad. My tenants were primarily recently divorced men who were just looking for a cheap, but clean place to crash. Of course, one of the traitorous bastards after 7 years of NEVER LATE PAYMENTS AND EXCELLENT TENANTSHIP betrayed me and the other bachelor and "fell in love" and "moved in with his girlfriend." And so I had to find new tenants.

The tenants I found were great on paper, but had one major flaw:

The couple were 20 something liberals.

Worse still, they were the extreme vegan, eco-friendly, chemicals-are-bad, type nutjobs.

They had the upstairs unit so there was no mold, but when they found out there was mold in the basement, they raised hell. There was a token amount of mold that every basement had, but I've learned it's better not to piss off tenants that pay and go and deal with their minor problems.

So I got some "Killz" which is a chemically treated oil based paint that kills mold. Painted up the basement real good, got rid of the mold. And all was well.


Mr. Effeminate Goatee Wearing Spoiled Brat Preppy Suburbanite Male Whose Ass I Could Crush Because He Was Even Skinnier Than Me comes up to me in the Honey Badger voice and practically yells at me because of the chemically smell. I tried explaining that it was to get rid of the mold they were so complaining about. But it didn't matter. I was supposed to warn them. I was supposed to use environmentally friendly means to kill the mold. What if they got asthma. When in reality he should have been more worried about me losing my temper and busting his teeth (these were the dark days when the Captain had a very short fuse).

In the end, I learned that if I was going to rent to people the biggest tenant-risk isn't the section 8 welfare recipient or the frat boy partiers. It's the spoiled brat, entitlement minded liberal children who never worked for a living.

Fast forward 8 years now and lookie what's happening.

I can't wait till the unholy alliance between big corporations and the environmentalist movement they so wished to court starts to unravel. Then again, you big time corporations swallowed that CSR BS hook, line and sinker and so I once again

break out the lawn chair

pour myself a drink

light up a cigar

and enjoy the decline.


Paul E. Zimmerman said...

Heard that one on the radio the other day, immediately thought about what the "technical expert" said during the hearing: how was she driving the car? Stop-and-go driving, jack rabbit starts, etc., don't make for good mileage regardless of what's under the hood.

Also, I'd like to smugly point out that my $4700 used Hyundai Accent three door manual transmission car that I bought in 2004 will get as much as 40mpg on the freeway. I'm probably still not green enough because it's not a hybrid though. lol.

Pat Sullivan said...

The listed MPG at most dealerships are considered a joke. No one takes them seriously.

The hybrid car buying trend is all about prestige. Hey look at me, I am saving the planet. I am better then everyone else. These people become very upset, when you point out that lead batteries have a large carbon footprint. They also have to be replaced long before the car wears out.
But all that does not matter. I am special, I drive a hybrid, I care about the saving planet. Only lowly people that work in the private sector, would drive a planet ruining gasoline powered car.

Dick Slater said...

How long did they stay? Did they pay their rent after all that?

Anonymous said...

This story is floating around the internet and the overall opinion in this is a bad thing that could cost Honda Billions, and it's a EPA mandated sticker, and it depends on how a person drives, and so on.
I say good for her, there is a class action lawsuit pending, with an expected settlement of a pittance and a credit towards a new car, with the lawyers making what lawyers the millions they normally make from a class action.
If a person is smart and persistant enoug to go this route, good for them!

tspoon said...

you should be linked to that already...

Pulp Herb said...

The listed MPG at most dealerships are considered a joke. No one takes them seriously.

The EPA MPG test doesn't model real driving conditions so all cars are off, but for hybrids, because it never really models kicking over the gasoline engine, it is even more off.

This was publicized on NRP (you know, the station this ideas have burned into their radio) almost a decade ago (I heard it delivering pizza so we're talking 2000-2006).

But since it doesn't run on Unicorn Farts clearly Honda owes her money.

My one year old nephew is less of a whining cry baby than the typical liberal.

The hybrid car buying trend is all about prestige. Hey look at me, I am saving the planet. I am better then everyone else.

Honda is proof positive of this. The Accent was successful but the hybrid Civic wasn't. Honda's research found out hybrid buyers didn't like the Civic because "people can't tell I'm driving a hybrid".

Smug fuckers.

This story is floating around the internet and the overall opinion in this is a bad thing that could cost Honda Billions, and it's a EPA mandated sticker,

So, if you don't put up the gov't mandated stickers you're in violation of the law and get fined. You do put them up and you're committing fraud.

How is the fact this is a gov't mandated and preformed test not de jure exemption from a fraud claim on its contents.

Samson J. said...

She's a "former" lawyer? What do you think she does now? Housewife?

Captain Capitalism said...

Hi Dick,

They broke up I believe and didn't renew their lease. Thank god.

I shortly sold my duplex after that. NE'er to do business in the city of Minneapolis again.

Izanpo said...

No argument Cappy, your hipster vegan tenants were douchebags. And not punching him the trachea was a smart move....good self-restraint there.

Now having said that, packing the apartment with a bunch of drunken fratboys or welfare bums would definitely NOT be an improvement. I've had the pleasure of living next to these specimens more than once.

Asshole tenants like that always follow the same vector: they cause endless problems, they trash the place and stiff the landlord for rent.

Obviously, we're all believers in the free market. A landlord can charge whatever he wants for his apartment.

But just because a landlord can get $1300/mth for place doesn't necessarily mean he should rent it for that amount. A stable, honest, responsible working slob simply couldn't afford that kind of rent. But a quartet of drunken unemployable losers could.

Ultimately, when you factor in damage costs, legal costs (eviction), and the non-monetary factors of grief and anguish that come from being forced to deal with combative, insolent, immature little pieces of shit on a constant it really worth the extra money?

Anonymous said...

still laughing at the comment:
cars running on unicorn farts

Anonymous said...

oh - and love the honeybadger reference!

All Deputy Cappy caps should go on an effort making you-tube videos mocking the honey-badger voiced liberals.. they will go viral, we can sell ad space and make money. being of course a valuable lesson in economics...

Anonymous said...

Well, you do have to consider this court ruling was in California.

Can you appeal a small claims court decision?

Some states post welcome to state of blank at the border - California needs to put signs at the border which read "resume normal behavior" as you exit the state.

Now, why I don't rent property... they don't let me evict assholes with a double barreled .410 pointed at their butts.

I think I would have found an excuse to shampoo the carpets, or paint the stairwell.

These guys must have been related to the Occupy crowd.