Saturday, March 24, 2012

The Captain's Great Big Horn Canyon Adventure!

OK, maybe not so great. Not only am I recovering from cracked ribs in jujitsu, but I also got a run of the mill cold (which THE WOMEN OF THE CAPPOSPHERE HAVE MISERABLY FAILED TO PAMPER ME ON!).

This relegated me to merely driving out west through Wyoming and up north into Montana to check out the Big Horn Canyon National Recreation Area in more of a reconnaissance mission than any serious hiking. Additionally, even if I did want to hike you can't because the park is surrounded by the Indian reservation which you can't "trespass" on if you aren't a member of that particular tribe. This proved problematic in that the park is really nothing more than a very steep canyon that has been dammed up, leaving no "beach" for you to hike on in the developed reservoir. In short, the entire reservoir (or at least the part I visited) is really nothing more than cliffs driving straight down into water, so you are forced to

1. Stick to the roads
2. Not walk on any land (because you're not of the Ojibwe or whatever tribe)
3. Look at awesome canyons that you can't access by foot (because once again you're not of the Sioux or whatever tribe).

Though, again this is probably best because I was ill.

Regardless, here are some photos of my limited trip. If you are to visit the Big Horn Canyon area, I recommend just renting a boat in Lovell and boating through the canyon, which I fully intend on doing because it's about the only way to really appreciate the beauty of the park. I hope you enjoy them:

Off in the distance you may see a sheriff's/ranger's boat. I want his job. "Here you go, go camping for 20 years and we'll pay you a pension!"

These were the only other people at the park (aside from the "hard working ranger that had to suffer the horrors of jet-setting his boat in the reservoir").

Lot's o' fish! They were very catatonic actually. I threw some rocks into the school (as boys are prone to do) and they just merely scattered and regrouped. I think they were hibernating or something. Was very weird.

This was taken at the farthest point I could go towards the dam before the sign said, "Due to National Security, And Despite You Being Captain Capitalism and Lover of All That Is American and America, You Cannot Go Any Further." Thank you "Religion of Peace"

This is the back side of the dam that I wanted to see. Amazing the engineering that this is holding up what is effectively a 50 mile long lake. I also like how you can see the end of the Big Horn mountains as they just finally peter out into the prairies that inevitably roll into North and South Dakota. Matter of fact, you might actually be looking at the western edges of North dakota in this picture.

So there you go Cappy Cappites. Not the best adventure, but may I point out a very important point about adventuring (especially to you kids out there).

If you sit there on your ass and do the same thing day in and day out, then you are guaranteed not to discover anything new or interesting. But if you go out, even in a sickened condition, and are willing to just pilot a car through barren landscapes, desolated and impoverished Indian reservations, and vast swathes of buffalo-poop-dotted-prairies, to go to a destination you see on a map,

at minimum,

at the VERY LEAST,

you resolve your curiosity as to "what is out there?"

However, I can honestly say that in all of my adventuring, hiking, and crusades I have ALWAYS, 100% of the time found something unique and unexpected.

A fossil of a brontosphere.

A $3,000 fairburn agate that the "old timers" never thought to look for.

A cave never found by the US Forestry service (near Deadwood BTW!)

A tornado forming.

A school of catatonic fish in a man made lake.

A ghost town.

An abandoned 1920's bootlegger car (Buffalo Grasslands near Scenic, SD)

30 caliber machine gun bullets and casings (again Buffalo Grasslands)

Abandoned cemeteries in South Dakota

You just have to go. That chances of you NOT discovering anything is practically 0%. This country is so full of cool and awesome stuff out in the wilderness you are practically guaranteed to find something unique and interesting if you just go adventuring. And it's not that you have to look for something specific like agates or fossils or tornadoes. They'll find you (especially tornadoes).

So go forth Cappy Cappites, Lieutenants, Agents in the Field, and Economists! You're going to die soon. And by "soon" I mean 50 years or less.

Which IS






CBMTTek said...

100% correct Cappy.

The journey IS the destination.

Great pics, too bad the exploring could not have been more extensive.

ray said...

lemme get this straight, you drove into the middle of Bumfuck, Nowhere, and there in the pond was a Sheriff's Boat?


i dont even see anyone else around!

who are they looking to arrest? the first Victim um Perpetratos upon arrival? lol

mebbe our Servers and Protectors should station Patrol Boats in our bathtubs too . . . y'know, in case we Evil Males do something unclean?

and you want a JOB as one of these bloodsucking cowards?