Tuesday, January 24, 2012

Get to the 10 Minute Mark

The intro is long, but download this and get to the first caller. You just can't make it up.

The first caller comes in around the 10 minute mark. The sheer SCREECHING in the background should make you run to your local urologist and get a vasectomy. It should also make you laugh as the woman tries to rationalize why she had a kid and the nervous laughter gives her true feelings away.

I'm pouring a martini and enjoying the silence.


Jay said...

Haha sheesh dude that's a little drastic.

Just pull out, wear rubbers, or only get BJs.

Besides unless you want to be bowing to Mecca at 4am every morning...someone is gonna have to do the baby-making so the rest can go Cocktailing, cause in Islam booze is a no-no.

Captain Capitalism said...

Ah, but Jay, the brilliance in that move is that neither I nor any of my theoretical future children would be around to suffer such a fate.

I mean, by all means, bring a kid into this world. They'll have their hands full fighting all the varied and diversified forces of oppression and tyranny from multiple fronts.

I prefer to not bother a youth with such a burden and prefer instead to drink my Rumpie till I'm dead. when the commies, femmies, nazis or Muslims take over, eh, what do I care? I'm dead.

Anonymous said...

You know that if you don't have any children, you're an evolutionary failure? Honestly, it should be a crime for someone as smart as you to give up on passing your genes to the next generation.

AnEnglishMan said...

I would get one, except for the fact that as a guy of 25 I freaking love my testosterone levels being obnoxiously high... and it's been proven that vasectomies can/do lower testosterone levels, and I don't want to risk it.

Although I have heard of some studies that have shown that ultrasound administered to ones bollocks for 30 minute periods over the course of a week can permanently sterilize a man -- something to do with the deformation of sperm producing proteins. But I doubt that particular method of voluntary sterilization will ever be refined and see the light of day, as there's too much money invested by big pharma, "women's groups", and the political elite in unwanted pregnancies.

Ahh... life is a doozy, ain't it?

Izanpo said...

Brilliant Idea:

Cappy Cap's Home Vasectomy Kit™

Each kit contains:
box cutter
electic soldering gun
bottle of Rumpie

.....and a picture of Chaz Bono with the caption "Your Future Son!"

Captain Capitalism said...


Ah, but my intelligence is passed on through this here web site, not to mention books I have written. I don't need to leave a genetic imprint on this world. Intellectual works of art would prove more useful.

And actually after 7 years I have not noticed a decrease in testosterone. Maybe for some that happens, but trust me, unless you plan on having kids, get a vasectomy. Makes sex that much better knowing you don't have to worry about anything.

I am Pro-The Cappy Cap Vascto-Kit.

Lila said...

Fatherhood is said to lower testosterone: http://www.chicagotribune.com/health/sns-rt-us-fatherhood-testosteronetre78c3to-20110913,0,5707406.story

Father Marker said...

From India comes a wonderful alternative known as RISUG. It is apparently as effective as vasectomy without the side effects and it is reversible.