Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Why I'm Picking Christian Males Last for Kickball

About a decade ago me and some of my friends opted to go to a drive in.  However, this drive in was special.  They'd allow you to show up early, grill, play games, etc. etc.  I always brought a kickball because there was always enough kids in the area to get a really good game going.  Sure enough, this time it was no different.  There was at least a score of young kids, you throw in my cadre of 20 somethings and we had 30 people willing to play kickball.

Of course, though, you have to pick teams.  Which means you have to designate two captains.

Two of my friends volunteered and thus began the "picking of the teams" where the captains pick what they deem to be the strongest and most athletic people to be on their team.

Sure enough Chad and Tom were chosen, obviously the most physically fit and so I thought I'd be in the second or third round draft.

Mike was picked over me, which was kind of odd.  He was fatter than me and he didn't run.

Hey, why is Bill get picked over me!?  He can't even run!

Then they started picking our female friends over me and I realized what was happening.  The two captains had conspired to pick me dead last as a loving jobke.  Everybody was having a good guffaw at the ole Captain's expense as little 8 year olds were picked before me.  7 year old girls and boys were excited to stand next to me because they were getting picked over me.  And finally it came down to two.

Me, a 5'9" full grown and in-shape adult male.

And a 4 year old girl who couldn't have been more than 3 feet tall.

Sure enough the little girl was picked over me, her face brimming, and everybody had a good ole laugh.

Now, of course this was done out of loving jest by my friends.  And if it made the little kids feel better about themselves not getting chosen dead last for kickball, fine.  But then I read this.

It has nothing to do with kickball, but a damn good reason why I'm picking Christian males who blame themselves for their wives' cheating dead last for kickball. Also why I'm picking them dead last as a foxhole partner if the SHTF and I need real men and real leaders to survive.  You TAKING THE BLAME for your wife cheating on you????  Are you kidding me? That's the reason your wife cheated on you, because you're a freaking pansy!  And an related aside, could you maybe advertise a little louder to our enemies in other countries and around the world just how cowardly and weak half the men in this country are?  How you'll all just roll over for anyone and anything?

Even more unbelievable, the cheating wife (and uber beta husband) set up a website explaining the whole ordeal for all of us to see.  Seriously, you just can't make this stuff up. (warning, the hypocrisy will make your stomach churn).

If the congregation will now turn their hymnals to page 323 where we will sing "Onward Christian Rationalization Hamster."


Anonymous said...

Oh, FFS.

We are responsible for our own actions. Male or female. I doubt anyone is going to disagree with me on that.

I got the impression from seeing the title and skimming the post (I couldn't take any more of it) that what she really wanted was an Alpha male. One who supervised her. Bossed her around. Kept track of the people she befriended and talked to.

Her "glimpse of god" was actually the promise that her husband would take control - be the all seeing, omnipotent Daddy who would shield her from temptation. I can well believe that she was abused as a child, and is looking for both a marriage, with all that entails, and a father figure who would protect her like I doubt hers did.

Anonymous said...

Tell you what Captain. You re-title this and I'll not send Michelle Obama over to rough you up.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for linking to my post. The full horror of this story didn't hit me right away when I wrote the post because I didn't follow the link from the Good Woman site to Mrs. Hartz' own blog. If you read through the resulting commentary on my post, you will see more gems from the husband. It's humiliating; I blushed for him just reading their blog. Understand this - they went on Oprah to relive her few months of alpha for all the nation to see.

I took some heat for posting this from a couple of Christians who were channeling their inner White Knight, but as a Christian woman, I cannot abide this un-Biblical exculpation of the woman's adultery. However, it worries me that a Christian man wrote this on my blog in the comments: Men should want to take responsibility for their wives’ and daughters’ and sisters’ sins. For only by assuming these responsibilities can a man be truly free.


Captain Capitalism said...

Shoot me an e-mail when you get the time Mary. Have some posts that may be of help to you/your readers.

Captain Capitalism said...

Heh, Michelle is always welcome to come here and duke it out with me. Just let me eat my burger first.

Stryker said...

Hey, Cappy,

Those people do not represent us all. It is easy to find F'd up examples of Christians and the Christian faith. Dalrock is a Christian, so is the guy over at Christian Men's Defense Network.

Your sample size is too small to disqualify myself and others like me from backing your play in a foxhole or when SHTF.

Captain Capitalism said...

Oh I know Stryker, but geez, we at least have to bring some shame to these schmoes. Maybe you and Dal and others could form "Real Male Christian INtervention" groups where you save these pansified "men."

Stryker said...

Already working on it(or something similar)


You might be interested in this:


If you are, I'll see that you get it for free.

Captain Capitalism said...

Whoa whoa whoa.

You're going to charge money to help people out?

Stryker said...

As do you. We give away almost as much as we offer for sale,plus the blog is free. The Freebies section contains a couple of what we consider to be our most important offerings. The Bible teaches that 'the workman is worthy of his wage' so the few dollars that we charge for some of these presentations or seminars goes back to the speakers and the rest pays for our servers and site maintenance. C'mon a 4.5 hour seminar for 4 bucks. Where else can you get that?

We are not 'man-o-sphere' per se, but advocate for a return to a much more grounded,well thought out, sane, and less pussified stream of Christianity. And yes, we have helped a whole lot of people.

Captain Capitalism said...

Ah, I must have only seen a part of the website. Looked like everything had a price on it.