Sunday, April 21, 2013

"Her Facebook Isn't Working Very Well"

I was young.

I was, ergo, naive.

And when the date I was scheduled to pick up in 2 hours didn't return my "are we still on for tonight" call I got upset.  My upsettedness was warranted for she never return my call and I was stood up.

For some reason later that night I ended up talking to my mother on the phone and when I explained I got stood up IMMEDIATELY her unconscious "Protect the Female Hive At All Costs Including Your Son's Sanity" instinct kicked in and (I kid you not) she said,

"Well maybe she got hit by a truck.  You never know."

I had received explanations like this before, all of them from women;

"Maybe she's in the hospital."

"Maybe she's really busy and it just slipped her mind"

"Maybe her cell phone is turned off."

or before the days of cell phones, my all time favorite

"Maybe she's broken down on the road this instant and can't get to a phone."

Of course in hindsight we realize just how stupid these excuses were and realize to what extents the women in our lives would go to protect our feelings or protect the hive.

But I really like this one

"Her Facebook Isn't Working Very Well."

Of course he is spoofing the title, but the spoofing is precisely the sarcasm and ridicule you young boys need to realize just what a bunch of hokey it is when other people provide excuses as to why a girl is

standing you up
not calling you back
etc. etc. etc.

So the next time you hear,

"She got hit by a truck"

you think

"Her facebook wasn't working."

When you hear

"It probably slipped her mind"

you think

"Her facebook wasn't working."

When you hear

"She could be in the hospital"

you think

"Her facebook wasn't working."

THen you go to the gym, hit the weights and run a couple miles.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Maybe she accidentally dropped her Facebook in the toilet.