My mother, who I do indeed love, gave me a tonnage of advice.
And in all honesty 90% of it was completely worthless BS that only served to cripple me later in life.
However, there was one "arena" or "genre" of advice she gave me that DID indeed prove to be useful and that was watching Cary Grant movies.
Cary Grant if you are unfamiliar with was arguably the premier actor from the golden years of Hollywood. He played everything from his early years of romantic comedy fill-in to war hero in "Destination Tokyo." But if there was anything you could glean from Cary Grant at the age of 14 it was his vocabulary and charm.
Charm and vocabulary are things that are hard to teach. They are endeavors that truthfully an individual must pursue and perfect. But if you start enough at an early age, or dedicate yourself at an older age, you can naturally embed these traits into your being, infuse them into yourself, and in the end come out a much more advantaged man than your peers. And this advantage is huge over your other alpha male contemporaries.
Understand that with all the TRUTHFUL and LEGITIMATE observations about confidence, dominance, leadership, etc. of the alpha male, not all of those traits are conveyed via physical posturing. Women do not solely interact with you on a physical basis, matter of fact the majority of their INITIAL interaction with you will be verbal. And therefore if you wish to improve your chances, having this "natural Cary Grantish charm" to bolster your "verbal game" will prove necessary.
How do you achieve this Cary Grantish charm?
1. Watch Cary Grant movies.
2. Plagiarize his lines.
3. Increase your vocabulary.
#1 Watch Cary Grant Movies
I cannot claim to be Cary Grant, but I've watched enough of them, and have become familiar enough with the man's acting that I can fake him really good. The man never loses confidence, is always in command, and if he isn't, he is in the state of "confused indifference." Of course Hollywood playrights made him look that way, but merely studying his characters in many movies will at MINIMUM give you a template to work from. He never gets angry, he never gets riled, he's very much like John Wayne. Immovable, though affable and every woman will at minimum like him.
#2 Plagiarize His Lines
The benefit of this is that most modern day women are so uncultured and pursue such mindless endeavors, they don't even know who Cary Grant is. As they lap up the latest gossip of the Kardashians or what latest celebrity harlot had a bastard child to prove her independent womanhood, you clandestinely take in and write down all the smooth oneliners Cary Grant spoke. Even though those one liners were written 60 years ago, the wisdom of our Hollywood playrights in terms of knowledge of the sexes shines through and still applies to today. If you watch those movies from the 50's and 60's you'll see, as clear as day, what charm is and how it plays on female sexual psychology. They knew the formula back then. They know it now. Why bother trying to recreate it? Just repeat it.
Remember. Modern day women are too busy watching the likes of EPL, Sex in the City, etc., to even know who Cary Grant is. So it's like plagiarizing with no risk of being caught.
# 3 Increase Your Vocabulary
If there is one thing I learned from watching Cary Grant flicks it was the cunningness and cleverness of the PRECISE words he chose.
Of course Cary Grant did not CHOOSE those words, the playwrights did.
But the point is still taken.
Understand the power of vocabulary.
Most people when they think "vocabulary" they think "some nerd who knows too many words."
But the truth is that 100% of your verbal communication with the opposite sex HAS TO COME THROUGH WORDS.
And if you have a better command of the vocabulary, why wouldn't that provide a great opportunity to improve your game?
This is the largest point of my post.
For if you have a better command of the language then you can convey, practically magically, much more than your competitors, your super-awesomeness. Instead of merely conveying information you can become the soothsayer, embedding traits like intelligence, wit, and cleverness in those words.
For example you, say get your ass shotdown by a girl who claims "she has a boyfriend."
The NON-Cary Grant familiar man will scuffle off into obscurity or at best say, "cool."
You, familiar with Cary Grant lingo will say,
"Well, if anybody goes on the critical list let me know." (Charade, 1963)
Or if a girl feigns umbrage at your approach you say,
"Dreadful etiquette, I apologize" (which isn't a Cary Grant line, but a Christian Slater line)
The list can go on and on, but the larger point is not one of merely a "tit for tat" memorization of Cary Grant lines from 1940's movies, but to have a command and (more importantly) a familiarity and COMMON USAGE of many $5 English words that when sparing verbally with a woman you can pull the
words you need to deliver to such effect it not only mutes her, but turns her on. NOT because no other guy used those words but...
because those words convey meaning that no other man in her life was able to convey.
I mostly agree with what you say, but having the vocabulary for precise communications doesn't help if the other party doesn't know what those words mean. It will have the effect you want, but don't make the assumption that the effect is as a result of her understanding what you are talking about.
Cary Grant also teaches great frame control.
He never let a woman get to him in the films.
Notorious was one of my favorites to be honest, and then Bringing up Baby. Good taste, sir. Of course, North by Northwest is essential for mandatory viewing.
Excellent post and idea, Cappy.
Let me add:
Grant was impeccably groomed. Good hairstyle. Stylishly dressed. What he wore, he wore well and it hung well on his frame. He looked fantastic in a tuxedo or a suit.
Grant was comfortable and at ease with himself. He knew who he was. He was not trying to be someone other than who he was, which was the best version of himself he could be.
Grant was accessible, but mysterious. He seemed to be knowable, but not entirely. He always seemed to be holding something back, something you would not be permitted to see or hear. He didn't wear his heart on his sleeve.
And a herd of wannabee barstool Casanovas trying to imitate Cary Grant is turned loose on the world.
Now that's going to be funny.
In Charade they (Grant and Hepburn) actually have lines discussing his charmingly aloof game and the effect it has: "All that marvelous rejection..."
That only works if the woman understands the vocabulary. Many do not.
and have become familiar enough with the man's acting that I can fake him really good.
That should be, 'really well'.
Your point that writers, not Cary Grant, were the source for his wit is shown here. See this clip through to the end:
"Bringin Up Baby" is downright hilarious, but it's an exception to the Grant rules spelled out in this post.
He's much dweebier than usual, kind of like Bogard in "African Queen."
It seems that you are talking about the concept of modeling. Here are some other great actors to take inspiration from:
William Shatner (The Star Trek films, in the show he is cheesy)
Robert Downey Jr. (especialy as Iron Man)
I think that any outbreak of Cary Grant-esque charm would be a veritable coup for civilization.
He was, like many comic actors, insecure, thinking little of Archie Leach, the self he was born as, and sought to improve him - in fact, to make a man of him. Witty, with beautiful diction and grace, he was who he MADE HIMSELF INTO for the sake of what he thought were greater virtues. He also didn't take himself very seriously, gracefully taking scenes and lines that added what could have been career-stereotyping slapstick and self-deprication.
The saying went "Every woman wants Cary Grant, and every man wants to be Cary Grant." It should still be true.
Grant also did not think film stars should make political statements, which virtually became a competitive sport beginning in the 60's.
"I'm opposed to actors taking sides in public and spouting spontaneously about love, religion or politics. We aren't experts on these subjects. Personally I'm a mass of inconsistencies when it comes to politics. My opinions are constantly changing. That's why I don't ever take a public stand on issues"
If you get a chance, see "none but the lonely heart"
Not trying to show you up, but playright should be playwrite, or better yet in the context of films, screenwriter.
Great blog, btw.
As a woman, Cary Grant in every film I have seen him in, and that is a great many films as I am an old movie buff, was charming and manly regardless of whether he was good or well not so good. He could never be really bad, not with the butter melting voice and charming cat that ate the canary grin. Not really surprising Cary Grant was offered the role of James Bond but turned it down due to the fact it would not be a one film deal but a series. We can see the Bond style in North by Northwest most clearly.
Of note he won exactly 0 Oscars for his work.. yes none. Unforgivable. Only an honorary when he was old. He was considered a lightweight by the academy.
I would say no actor in all of history has every played opposite so many beautiful and powerful actresses and yet was upstaged by NONE of them except Mr. Grant. Maybe it was the material but I personally think it was his indomitable frame.
Thank for shining the spotlight on one of my favorites.
Playwrite should NOT be "playwrite." It should be PLAYWRIGHT, as in "a maker of plays." Think "shipwright" or "wheelwright." Oh hell, what's the use?
My understanding/recollection is that Cary Grant was so impressed by the writers who wrote his parts, that he found playing Cary Grant the best part he ever had, so he played it the rest of his life.
A great article. My mother adored Cary Grant. One of my favorite Cary Grant stories involves his response to a reporter's telegram. It was later in his life and the reporter was writing a story on the occasion of the actor's birthday and needed to know the actor's age. As it was the pre-Internet age, the reporter sent Grant a telegram which read "How old Cary Grant? STOP"
Cary rant replied, "Old Cary Grant fine, how you?"
His cool was not all the product of his writers!
Excellent post! The only addition would be William Powell in "The Thin Man," a movie which should be required viewing for the entire Manosphere.
I would add Gregory Peck as well.
And don't forget James Stewart. He was alpha enough in many of his movie roles, but he was, very arguably, more alpha in real life than in any of his movies. Example: Gregory Peck (big respect, don't misunderstand me) entertained the troops during World War Two and, post-war, played a B-17 unit commander facing very tough conditions over Europe in Twelve O' Clock High. James Stuart WAS that unit commander that faced terrifying odds in B-24's and B-17's in World War Two. He had been a sport and racing aviator before the war and joined up as a private immediately after Pearl Harbor, eventually making a commission and being made a bomber pilot, then unit commander, then wing commander, being promoted from private to colonel in just four years. He continued to serve as a reservist air force officer after the war, and went on a bombing mission over Vietnam in a B-52. He was always very private and modest about his military service. Besides a famous actor and intrepid aviator he was also a successful businessman and family man (married to his ex-model first wife from 1949 until she died in 1994). My take on him is that he was so alpha in real life that he had the what it took to bring real depth, and eventually strength, to some flawed leading characters (the naive congressman in Mr. Smith Goes To Washington, the tormented ex-policeman in Vertigo, the guilt-ridden pilot in Flight Of The Phoenix). You can't imagine the suave Cary Grant (again, big respect, don't misunderstand me) playing those roles and inspiring the viewer to respect the character. Alpha all the way through, a shining role model.
Here is one woman who has been a very long time fan of Cary Grant and could probably quote more of his lines than you can! I love your choice. The thing I love most about CG is that he usually portrayed someone suave and elegant, yet he was always able to laugh at himself. There is something to be said for a man who knows how to laugh at his own expense.
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