Monday, May 13, 2013

Beyond Help

Arguably the single largest complaint or criticism I received about "Enjoy the Decline" was that unless you were a single bachelor under 40 who didn't have kids it wouldn't apply to you.  Of course, this is not true as the book is actually quite family-oriented, so much so I think it would surprise most of my regular readers just how "pro-family" I am in the book.  However, the criticism did highlight an aspect of human psychology that I found interesting, specifically its inability to accept "being totally screwed."

Understand when I say, "being totally screwed" I'm not talking about a temporary condition where after you make a couple course changes and strive a bit you are back on track.  I'm talking about life changing decisions that cripple you in one way or another for the rest or the majority of your life.

So for example, let's say you did some drugs back when you were 14, the cops busted you, and at that moment you said, "Dude, I am so screwed."

Are you really screwed?

Sure enough, though the sinking feeling of panic that set in your heart suggested otherwise, three years later you graduate from high school, go to college, and when you're 29 you laugh at it realizing how inconsequential it was.

Now let's say you're 14 and you get pregnant or impregnate somebody.


And the reason why is that is at minimum 20 years of your life gone, spent raising your child.

For the most part "severe, life-crippling screwed" comes from having children you can't afford.  Matter of fact, I believe this so much, I believe you should need to have a license before you start spawning children.  However, there are other stupid mistakes you can make that are also life-crippling.

Majoring in something stupid and going into debt for it.
Buying a house or cars you can't afford.
Racking up credit card debt to the point you have to file for bankruptcy
Marrying somebody who is abusive
etc. etc.

These life-crippling decisions and the consequences of them cannot be overcome in a few short years.  Matter of fact, they are decisions that will punish you for the rest of your life and only until you die will you be relieved of their consequences.

So my question is this:

"What do you want me to do about it?"

Not so much to my critics of "Enjoy the Decline" but to people like this who have obviously screwed over their lives so much there is no hope whatsoever they will ever recover from it, but then complain when society can't bail them out.  By definition being "beyond hope" means NOBODY and NOTHING can help you.  So whether it's a book like "Enjoy the Decline" or all the "moral support" you're going to get from your family and friends, NOTHING is going to unscrew you out of your situation.

In short what I think it is, is the inability of the human brain to accept that it's life is over.  Matter of fact, it's probably even worse.  That it's still going to be alive, but have to suffer a life of strife, agony, suffering and pain and not enjoy the care-free happy life they were expecting.  And when faced with accepting such a prospect, the average human brain simply doesn't.  It denies it's going to have to suffer for the rest of its days and complains about the lack of solutions.  However, it also fails to realize there ARE NO solutions.  The only solution is that they will have to suffer, a prospect political promises backed up by lot of redistributed wealth and borrowed Chinese money has numbed most minds to. 

Regardless, in the end, the solution is very simple - don't make stupid decisions that will cripple you for the rest of your life.  Don't have more kids than you can afford.  Don't major in stupid subjects.  Don't expect government to support you.  Don't have kids when you are a teenager.  And for god's sake, don't complain to me when my book can't work miracles by helping the helpless.


Sundance said...

El Capitan,

I am 57, married, with two young children. I am half way through your book and am getting quite a bit out of it. Mostly along the lines, I knew it, F/*@in!! system.

I quit working for the corrupt system where I was making over 100K about 6 years ago and have been happy ever since. My comment? No matter your age, marital status, or income level, you can ENJOY THE DECLINE! Join me poolside for a scotch and a cigar after a day of fishing or motorcycle riding.

BTW, the video was pretty inspirational.

kurt9 said...

The fundamental problem with society, one that is exacerbated by both the right and the left for ideological reasons, is that people are not encouraged to make major life decisions on the basis of opportunity cost and rational risk management. Instead, people are pressured to make life decisions on the basis of ideology.

For the purpose of discussion, religion, philosophy, and ideology are all interchangeable concepts and terms. Hence, I use the word ideology as a blanket term to describe all of these worldviews.

Anonymous said...

You may be right about the human phycology of accepting a screwing but, there is another consideration.

Family-oriented people shun the counsel of bachelors. It’s as simple as that.

Doubt this? Consider the scarcity of bachelor politicians. Same thing.

adiaforon said...

One caveat:

With kurt9, I firmly believe that most people are pressured to make life decisions based on ideology and not looking at cost vs. benefit. This is where the tragedy really comes into play, especially nowadays.

In some ways, I can't fault young guys for making stupid decisions because they don't know any better after having been raised by single mothers, or maybe too-beta fathers and shrewish mothers. All of us are products of our upbringing and environment, and we play out these scripts well into adulthood.

Until something major happens and it snaps us out of our stupor. That usually is a "OMG! I'm screwed!" mistake. Again, a tragedy.

On the other hand, with the Net, they now have more information than we older guys did when we were their age. One hopes that the younger ones have the wisdom to read and understand our mistakes.

Anonymous said...

There’s no such thing as a hopeless situation, just hopeless people in situations.

The complainers' biggest problem is that they are not willing to take responsibility and pay the price, however terrible it may be, to change things.

earl said...

In other words...

Think logically and not with your dick.

And women should stick with a guy who thinks logically...and not with his dick.

Black Poison Soul said...

It is extremely hard to accept the thought that we're really screwed. I think that it goes hand-in-hand with my thought that most people cannot comprehend the true concept of cause and effect.

Cause: you did X... (whatever that might be, as per your post)

Effect: you're screwed

It seems to me that most people do not understand this - and that this might be a part of the reason that people cannot accept the consequences for their actions. It may be a large part of what causes the Hamster™ to run so frantically, in its futile attempt to deny reality and avoid the blame for its own actions.

I am incredibly grateful that I have managed to stay away from or avoid the various things that might have screwed my life for the aforesaid 20 years.

Thank you, at 46 years old I am - in my own manner - Enjoying The Decline.

Like a G-6 said...

And for the screwed, there is identity theft, working under the table, being your own businessman, and 3rd world countries. When legal living becomes too costly, there's always the illegal living (and you don't need to fake being a criminal anymore!)...

Nobody is completely and totally screwed, they are merely imprisoned in their mind!

deuce said...

"Majoring in something stupid and going into debt for it." Check. $37K in debt, plus or minus a few hundo. Not a day goes by where I don't mentally kick myself for being such a dumbass. "Follow your passion!" they said. Apparently my passion is wasting money.

OTOH, there is a silver lining. I realized how stupid I was, recognized the financial situation for what is was, and put off marriage nevermind children. This resulted in the termination of a 3 year relationship that was previously destined for marriage. Now she's fat and a raging bitch to her second-choice husband (although we're all the second choice). So maybe being in hock thousands of dollars for a worthless degree had a small benefit, those monthly student loan bills helped me to dodge a major bullet, as well as force the issue of minimalism.

My cousin is a junior in high school. I bought him Enjoy the Decline and Worthless. He plowed through them in one night. The next day I received a text, "I had no idea what I was in for. Thank you." He is now talking with military recruiters to be an aircraft mechanic and has shelved the idea of going to school for a BA in...wait for it...MUSIC! So at least my screwups have hopefully helped him out.

I'm doing ok financially for the moment but man that debt has set me back. Thank God I found the manosphere and learned I wasn't the only one choosing not to buy a huge house, expensive car, and expensive spouse.

Thanks guys.

Captain Capitalism said...


That's why we're here!

Tell your cousin to spread the good word!