I once again decided to avail myself of the free gym and lounge offered to my girlfriend at her place of employment. Normally my schedule consists of lifting weights, using the communal internet to do my daily work, running on the local trails and then grabbing a bite to eat. However, the powers that be had a surprise in store for me, and that surprise took the form of 5 elderly ladies.
At first it was just one. I was sitting in a comfy chair in the lounge when this amazonian woman (6'1') walked in and sat beside me. She inquired if I was with the "coffee club" and I said, "No, I'm just here because my girlfriend works for the company and this is considered my 'bachelor daycare' which prompted laughter and prompted conversation.
She was a widow and a mother of children slightly older than myself, and she was waiting on her friends for their little coffee club. She was promptly on time, suggesting to me she may have been ex-military, and started to ponder whether her friends were even going to show. She called one of them and while on the phone started jesting to her friend that she was sitting with a "fine young handsome man." I interrupted and suggested she tell her friend I would abscond with her to Bermuda, her friend on the other line laughed loud enough I could hear it.
Sure enough within half an hour her friends all did show and as they trickled in I was introduced to them as her "new boyfriend," "boytoy," and "time share." Every one of them laughing at each new title. I had work to do, but set my laptop aside because it became quickly obvious and apparent these ladies were neither boring or uninteresting. Yes I had work, but since I knew other humans are the most important thing in life, I set it down and participated with the ladies.
I would say "normal jousting" occurred, but while the pattern of conversation was that of jousting you would have with other men, the fact these ladies were older made it superior conversation. They were wise, they were experienced, they were witty. In short they were the perfect people that you would want to engage in conversation. They were not crass, but certainly weren't saints either. They would tell stories about how they would peek through the blinds to see young men (back in the day) roof the house from across the street. They would make high-brow remarks about me "coming over to do work for them," but at the same time inquiring what I did, telling me about their families, and other more innocent topics. They were also cultured catching every Victor Borge reference I would lay on them and not having to require me to explain who Cary Grant was. They, in short, were not just a pleasure to be around, but were the epitome of fun. No person on the face of the planet would not have fun with these women.
Because of this I decided that we should all meet at the lounge during the day time and I would grill them steaks and make them martini's. Not one of them refused the offer. We set a date, arranged for some minor logistics, and I have a afternoon date with 5 elderly ladies for steak and martinis in the near future.
Now let me tell you the important lessons to take away from this experience.
#1 Enjoy Them While They Are Here
Every young man, and I mean EVERY young man, needs to hang out, at least once, with elderly ladies. Not for any ulterior motives such as MILF/GILF or gigilo/money, etc., but because this is the last generation of real women you will ever get to interact with.
Understand once this generation dies off you get to deal with aging boomer hippies, middle aged Gen X'er feminists, and entitled Gen Y'ers and millineals, all of which have to one extent or another been influenced and impaired by feminism. In other words the last true remaining, classy, Sophia Loren-esque women will die off and you will never get to enjoy hanging out with them, leaving you with "empowered women" and "masters in communications" types of females who are only female in gender. There are non-physical reasons men like women and these women are the last ones on the planet that "got it." Reasons that are soon going to go away and you won't ever get to enjoy. So I suggest you enjoy their company and presence while you still can.
#2 This is "How It's Supposed to Be"
You ever feel like you're walking on eggshells with modern day women? Always wonder where the next sucker punch is going to come from? Asking yourself the question, "Will I go to jail if I ask a girl to dance?"
Well that's because women have been co-opted under the socialist guise of "feminism" to be victims and any interaction between men and women is hyper-analyzed to see if those interactions in any way can be construed as "oppression," "victimization" or "crime." In other words, a war has been declared between men and women, unbeknownst to most men.
This is how women were before the "war."
Men and women got along. Men appreciated women and women appreciated men. They would wittingly spar, counter with charm and see who could crack the most smiles from the opposing team. They were not focused on themselves, but rather intrigued and interested in the other. And if you ever wish to experience how that felt, not to mention have a standard or a "goal" as to how men and women should interact, again, hang out with older women.
#3 True Judges and Judgement
Nearly every young man is judged every day. And he is certainly judged when he approaches a woman of his age be it for a date, a social event, or what have you. However, unfortunately, this young man has no context. And when Sally McDitzysociologymajor shoots him down, perhaps even mocking him in the process, he actually thinks that this somehow reflects upon his:
worth as a man
My question is simple - why do you let the most inexperienced, spoiled and childish people in the history of human kind (20 something western girls) judge you AND accept their judgement as a true measure of your worth?
I do not say this out of desire or bias, but because it is true. What experience, wisdom or hindsight does Tanya the Suburbanite Princess have to give her such authority?
Older women are much better judges as to the quality and caliber of a person (be it a man or a woman) than their younger, spoiled-brat, entitled 20 something counterparts and if you really want to know if you are a good person, charming individual and all around good man, then it is older women you should hang out with.
Can you get them to laugh?
Can you get them to like you?
Can you get them to smile?
and the ultimate condoning of your quality as a man
Can you get them to start inquiring about setting you up with their daughters or granddaughters?
There is no larger or better endorsement to your caliber and quality as a man than a nice ole grandma lady asking if you have a girlfriend and saying she has a nice single grandaughter she'd like you to meet.
I say all of the above not because I'm looking for anybody to validate myself or others.
I say all of the above not to make you feel better about yourselves.
I am saying all of the above because it is true.
Our female elders, just like our male elders, have just as much wisdom and MORE when it comes to the opposite sex. And if you want to enjoy the company of women, and appreciate the true intellect of females, and have some honest judges as to your worth in salt as a man, then I strongly suggest you hang out with our female elders.
This post made in honor of my dance partner in Wyoming. She said yes when all the 20 somethings said no.
Flat-out truth. Older ladies are most often Ladies, with the intelligence, wit, engaging ways and easy-going pleasantry that the word used to mean. Wonderful.
To the question they asked you: What do you do on the regular? Meaning, that biz that can be handled briefly by free wi-fi? I know you have books and pre-recorded classes, and speak on various topics, but have never figured out if those were occasional items or bread and butter.
"wonderful" was the word I was looking for.
And yes, that is my bread and butter. So if you love the Captain, tell friends and buy on Amazon!
Good on you, Mr Clarey.
I'm in the process of renovating an elderly living facility and have had this same opportunity every day for the last several months. The difference between them and the present is night and day and it's not for the better.
How in hell those older generations of women allowed themselves to be painted as subservient second class citizens is beyond me. Maybe they were just to polite to bitch slap their youngers.
i'm totally guilty of using mom to chat up her daughter. if you can make mom laugh, you're in.
great insight Aaron.
What no talk of Glenn Miller? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YOG89TrL4Vk
Best post yet. I agree 100%.
I've never thought it was natural for a society when people are segregated off by their respective age groups. It might have been my upbringing though. My parents had me when they were at an age where all their peers either had teenagers or babies. There were few parties or functions we went to where I had any peers, so I either wadered off by myself, or hung around with the adults. I could carry on an intelligent conversation with an adult long before I was 10.
Seems like most of the spoiled little girls today don't have that much extra-generational influence. All they seem to know is what their peers do, or what they see on TV.
Well Cap I dunno. There are plenty of stunned women in that age demographic, and plenty of witty younger women that truly understand meaningful sexuality. With one or two noteable exceptions you even link to a few of them on your blog roll.
Witty, charming personalities are more a function of intellect rather than age.
The grim truth is that liberals and feminists are largely the product of stupidity and poor parenting and education. I think the problem is going to get worse before it gets better too.
Cappy, you speak of woman like my mother and you're dead on with the analysis. They're classy all the way. My father knew how lucky he was!
Enjoy every sandwich.
And yes, that is my bread and butter. So if you love the Captain, tell friends and buy on Amazon!
Always happy to support a good cause.
That picture is delightful! I bet you made that lady's day.
The advice goes both ways. Plenty of women my age would do well to shut their empowered traps and spend some quality time with some older gentlemen. Maybe have a conversation instead of vomiting out some 'gender equality' drivel. Ah, but I suppose I give my peers too much credit.
An inspiring post!
I'm going to click through the Cappy Cap Amazon link and buy the Harold and Maude DVD as soon as I finish my Hogan's Heroes DVDs!
On the flip side:
NOTHING makes me feel MORE feminine, more appreciated or more - I say this just to piss you off - "empowered" than enjoying the company of an elderly gentleman.
I have such a soft spot for their company whether I know them already or complete strangers that a simple conversation can completely make my day.
They can be crusty, grumpy, crabby fellows in appearance and demeanor until you get them chatting and their eyes twinkle and they grin. Or they glower at you when you say something naughty and THEN they grin...
It's all amazing.
True that! A large portion of the coolest people I know are old ladies. They're down to earth, full of fun stories, and love being able share their awesomeness. If more people were like my favorite old ladies, this world would be a far better place.
"why do you let the most inexperienced, spoiled and childish people in the history of human kind (20 something western girls) judge you AND accept their judgement as a true measure of your worth?"
Because under the Austrian school of economics, Libertarianism and free market capitalism, VALUE (aka WORTH) is in the eye of the beholder.
Value, worth, is SUBJECTIVE and never intrinsic. It's the buyer that decides your value.
If the buyer happens to be an immature 20 year old spoiled ditz or an old and experience woman, it doesn't matter. The customer is always right.
Free market is a bitch, huh ! (no pun intended)
The real war is not even between men and woman. It's not feminism. It started ever since the primary mitosis cells decided to split into sexed reproduction instead of simple mitosis.
Sex drive is nature's weapon of war to force males to breed and work. It's a racket.
Men don't need women, don't need children, don't need all that crap that capitalism pressures us to buy and don't need to take shit from bosses.
Men should tell not only HR but especially Nature and God to shove it.
My favorite post on what is becoming one of my favorite blogs. Old lady game = being a decent, high value man. Gen X/Y girl game = being an aloof asshole. I'm damn good at the latter, but I'd rather be the former.
Ah, this earns you a buss on the cheek and several tweets of promotion!
My mom really was verbally abused by my father, horribly so. But she had uncanny graces in the midst of a disappointing life. Best of all: She never made her children become her emotional support group.
For that, and many other wise and strong examples, I miss her and her friends.
Obviously neither the "Captain" nor any of the posters have ever heard of "In Praise of Older Women". Can't remember the author and too lazy to look it up.
I'd pinch you on the nearest available cheek if I could.
My best friend is 24 years my junior. He doesn't care about my age, I don't care about his. I do care that he doesn't mind that I occassionally try to set my hair on fire rewiring the triumph, that I come home smelling like either gunpowder or avgas, and that I have no desire to diet until I resemble a bag of antlers.
Getting older is great, the people that are around are around because they like me, and nothing nmore.
Excellent post! Fix those fine ladies some nice steaks!
Sometimes, you just gotta put the youngsters down: "You may be female, even pretty. But you ain't no lady and you ain't acting like a woman!"
Good day CC, I agree with your post as well but would encourage you to seek out that type of woman in the creative community. I know several young artists and poets that are well versed in the verbal jousting you speak of. Consider this an open invite to the June 15th Art Walk in La Puente Ca. See you at the Poets corner.
Thanks for the confidence boost! People often say that I'm old fashioned or that I'm such an "old man." I used to think that being this way hurt my chances with the ladies. Now I know it's helping me avoid the wrong ones.
There is hope my friend. Just hang out with immigrants, they are still not too corrupted by feminism. They like men to be men.
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