Friday, June 14, 2013

Once Upon A Time

In a land far far away

There was a bachelor named "Cappy."

He was on his motorcycle crossing the great and barren land of South Dakota in an attempt to make it to the rumored beautiful western side of this land.  The great prophet said there would be mountains, streams, buffalo, cigars, and booze.

Much as Cappy the Bachelor wanted to get there, alas, there was not enough daylight to make the trip in one day, and so he set up camp in a little town along the road.  Broke out his rations, checked the tension on the motorcycle chain, and managed to save $60 by not paying for a hotel. 

In his tent he fell asleep and dreamed.

He dreamed of the mountains he would summit, the booze he would drink, the fossils he would find, and the fish he would catch.  However, since the internet was not available in the middle of nowhere South Dakota, he also dreamed that when he finally made it to his destination, they would have internet access as well.  And when he'd log onto the internet and check book sales for Boris the Buffalo and his Amazon affiliate account, that millions of people bought tons of books and tons of stuff so that he would never have to work again.  And then, upon arriving in Rapid City, Jennifer Aniston would be there in an inebriated and poor-judgement state.

The End.


Jeffrey Ellis said...

That is truly a heartwarming story.

Anonymous said...

It annoys me to no end to see Jennifer throwing herself shamelessly at her new BF when I live just across the river. But in your fantasies, she can be single again.

Anonymous said...

Been through there Cappy on a BMWR1100s (Beemer rally in WY, Gillet). You gotta go to Deadwood, if you haven't been. Devils Tower is cool, but tons of roads to explore. Keep us informed, and dont nail any Buffalo or any other wildlife, unless, nevermind. Tom

Anonymous said...

I went on an MC trip like that in my early twenties. Air mattress, sleeping bag and my army poncho tied to the side of my bike as a lean-to. It is a cheap and minimalist way to travel. Now I'm 50 I need a few more comforts. - minuteman

Chris Muir said...

That brought a tear to muh eye.


ray said...

aniston looked ok fifteen years ago

if youve not been west before young man, youre in for a treet! Rockies and Cascades!! God's Country! get em while theyre beautiful cuz theys goin fast

well done sleeping out, youll need cold-weather gear to camp in upper elevations

you crapped on your post a little with the commerce but, overall pretty good

pls consider a new imaginary girlfriend, cheers

Kindjal said...

I believe Cappy was in his cups when he wrote this post.

I wish a good American journey to you Cap.

Anonymous said...

Does the commenter above me have the education of an elementary schooler? Learn to spell, redneck child. :/

Anyways, love the story.

I just wanted to say I like your videos better than your text posts because they are searchable by title and have your inflection/tone of voice expressing emotion (e.g. frustration), so do more of those! Seriously, your "don't major in business" video was probably more valuable than all the business courses I took in college. I also really enjoyed your analysis of "crusaderism" and why most politics is bullshit anyway.

If people were productive enough to make a good living in the free market, they wouldn't even bother dealing with politics or the government. It's a platform for retards and ineptitude.

Basically, we guys (I am speaking as a self-appointed spokesman for the male race) like money/career/sex/politics, which imply legal/tax/accounting/collegemajors/selfpublishing/antifeminism/antiliberalism, so all of those videos are my favorite.


An irrelevant stranger who is neither paying you nor exerts any power or influence over your life but nevertheless has the audacity to tell you what to do on your own blog.

Anonymous said...

That was funny!

By the way, is Al's Oasis still in business in Chamberlain?

It's been a few years since I've gone that direction.

Unknown said...

Har-har-har... Harley