Sunday, June 09, 2013

Why You Want to Be Like Mike Rowe

Mention "Sam Elliot" to pretty much any man in America and he will respond positively saying things like "Yeah, cowboy guy with mustache" or "the dude."

Mention "Sam Elliot" to your mother or perhaps even your grandmother and you will be shocked and surprised with the lewd and bawdy commentary that ensues (and you never thought your mother would say!).


Well, let me explain.

Sam Elliot, while an OK looking guy does not stand out to any man, and most men would not see why he stands out.  Truth be told, I STILL don't see why he stands out.  However my mother (not to mention a score of other elderly ladies) swoons, nearly passes out when you mention "Sam Elliot."  Was it because he was hotter when he was younger?

No, for as it turns out there is actually a lot more to Sam Elliot than meets the eye and a lesson we can all take from him.  So let us fast forward to people more our age.

Having the SAEG (TM) that I am gifted with and actually listening to the words coming out of my mother's mouth, I focused on when she kept saying he was "real" and he "was a man."  She dislikes George Clooney and dislikes Brad Pitt and kept harping on "the real man" aspect that her and her elderly female colleagues liked (nay, salivated over).

So my brain scanned its archives and came up with another guy who I though would fit the "real man" bill - Mike Rowe.

And I said, "So is Mike Rowe a hottie?"

My mother, not knowing who he was said, "Who's Mike Rowe?"

I said, "You know, Mike Rowe.  The guy who does 'The World's Dirtiest Jobs.'"

"No, don't know who you're talking about."

I said, "the guy who did the special 'How Booze Built America'"

"No, still don't know who you're talking about."

Then I said, "The guy who wears a cap and does the Ford truck commercials."

And you should have see her knees turn to jelly.


And so let us take a lesson as to why every young man should be aiming to be like Mike Rowe.

First, Mike Rowe is not a "cutie" or a "pretty boy Floyd." 

He is a man.  He has changed his own oil, done pretty much every other disgusting real-man-imaginable job via his TV show, probably has rebuilt an engine or two in his life, owns Stanley Tools, and is a guy who can get shit done.  George Clooney, pretty as he may be, only has experience in being...well...George Clooney and Rose Mary Clooney's nepotist.  Mike Rowe is a normal guy, who soared through the ranks of real life under his own steam, and is definitely the guy you want on your team in a post-apocalyptic world.  His face shows this and women see it.

Second, he is middle aged, BUT physically in shape.

Have you seen his physique?  He hides it under sweatshirts, but if you pay attention during the Ford commercials he is the last guy I would want to rumble with, even if the lord were to grant me an additional 4 inches in height and 30 pounds of muscle.  And this physique does not come from a personal trainer, it comes from regular ole work and toil.  Any man his age, whose life has forged his physique into that, is a man who has lived a real life and one that women want.

Finally, Mike Rowe is a normal guy, and therefore in most women's eyes he's attainable.  Sure, Hollywood and People Magazine go out of their way to brainwash women into thinking George Clooney is the sexiest man alive, and 100% of the women would jump at the chance to date George Clooney...

but you don't have billion dollar media empires putting your face on worthless magazines, do you?

You get to live in the real world.  And therefore you have to figure out who you should model yourself after given this real world you live in.  And fashioning yourself after a "normal guy" like Mike Rowe will lead to much better results than fashioning yourself after a guy like George Clooney, because the truth is you aren't a celebrity.  You are a normal guy.  And if George Clooney and Mike Rowe were walking down the street WITHOUT their celebrity status, women would choose Mike Rowe every single time.

So remember, and take it from my mom (and every other crass-talking woman in her cadre of foul-mouthed females), you don't want to be pretty boy Floyd.  You don't want to be Brad Pitt.  You want to be the tough, rugged, torn-jean, motorcycle-fixing, whiskey swillin', blue collar guy who can punch above his weight, but remembers to buy mom flowers on her birthday.


Kathy Hall said...

You are so right. Famous romance novel writer Nora Roberts married her carpenter. George Clooney would never be the hero in a romance novel!

Unknown said...

Oh my, yes! Some things are way better than "pretty."

Mutnodjmet said...

I have a regular "Beautiful Man" feature. It sure as hell would not feature George Clooney (though Brad Pitt as Achilles might eventually get a place).

I have always had a crush on Mike Rowe and promote his Mike Rowe Works site(focused on trade skills) whenever I can.

Thanks for the reminder. He will be the next "Beautiful Man".

Pax Empyrean said...

Mike Rowe was also a professional opera singer. He just does every filthy blue collar job in the world because he likes it and he thinks they are important.

I've got a lot of respect for him.

Unknown said...

Dirty Jobs is probably one of the best reality shows I've watched because of all the reasons that you pointed out in this post.

The guy has actually done real stuff and had to endure a lot unlike so many of the men that many women have gone crazy over like any of the Robert Pattinsons, Zac Efrons or any Rudolph Valentino equivalents in television and movies.

He's also a great role model that many people can look up to in the midst of the amateurish trash that somehow gets high ratings like Jersey Shore or the Kardashians.

James Wolfe said...

He can sing opera while rebuilding a transmission standing waist deep in hog slop. Chuck Norris once gave him a Get Out of Whoopass card, he hasn't needed it yet. The Most Interest Man in the World only has one name in his contact list, Mike Rowe. When the going gets tough, Mike Rowe is already there with a shovel.

sunshinemary said...

Yes! YES! You've pretty much nailed it, Cappy.

I have always found George Clooney and Brad Pitt yucky.

I don't have TV and haven't had for years, and didn't watch it even when we did have it, so I have no idea who Sam Elliot or Mike Rowe are. However, the description of Mike Rowe plus his picture...*hot*

SQT said...

I'm not that old (certainly not elderly) and I've always thought there was a lot of manly appeal to Sam Elliot- even as an older man. And Mike Rowe? Oh my. Yes. ((Fans face))

Badger said...

"Finally, Mike Rowe is a normal guy, and therefore in most women's eyes he's attainable."

Shameless self plug:

Yes, and to most women, because he's a "normal guy," he's attainable BY YOU as a man - she thinks you should be able to get there.

In one sense, it's a testament to women thinking that what is exceptional in men is just "normal" and that guys who can't get there are deeply defective.

On the other hand, if you keep in shape, keep crafty, and keep learning, you can approach the ouevre he's got going.

patriarchal landmine said...

I remember seeing him do a lecture on how capitalism is the best economic system in the world. he also did a dirty jobs episode about "green jobs" that make money, the message being that providing someone a paycheck to help the environment will do more good than any amount of regulations.

patriarchal landmine said...

if you care at all about being like mike rowe, you will want to watch this.

"follow your dreams and go broke was the worst advice I ever got."

Amy said...

As Pax said, Rowe is also an opera singer. And it is eminently respectable that he thinks blue collar work is not only important, but indispensable, and ought to be celebrated.

I'm about your age, Cap, and I love Sam Elliot. I admire and am attracted to men with rugged features, sensibilities, and physiques honed not (necessarily) in the gym but from a life of work, and pride in that work.

I also find Sean Connery and Michael Ironside very attractive. My husband is a blue collar guy with big rough hands and a deep voice. Masculinity in its raw form strikes a woman in a visceral fashion she might not even be able to recognize.

Stingray said...

Please stand by, I must slow my heart rate (I see a picture of Sam Elliot and it goes into palpitations, then you end it with a shirtless Mike Rowe? Game Over.)

Ok, I'm better.

This is a really good post and spot on. There is a superficial attraction to some one like George Clooney (Brad Pitt I haven't found attractive since I was 25), but when you show a woman a Man and all that masculinity (the achieved kind) there is something visceral about it. A woman will feel it down in the pit of her stomach and it's magnetic. Yeah, that sounds cliche, but one literally feels a draw to these types of men and it can be difficult just trying to look away. I wish I could do a better job describing it, but it's so much more than a George Clooney type of attraction.

Jennifer said...

Mike Rowe is dangerous. Fitness like that isn't gained from a desire to impress someone. He's got muscles to do things. Build things, break things, fix things. He's not a man that is going to be led.
He's not afraid to take a risk, and I bet he'd never be caught dead without a pocket knife (there's a rant there). He's useful as opposed to so much decoration.
Dangerous men sweep the ladies off of their feet. Dangerous and useful makes us swoon.

Anonymous said...

Yes, both Sam Elliot and Mike Rowe are hot in a very "capable" way. There's nothing sexier to me than a man in work boots!

S.Lynn said...

Suits suck. Work boots are hot. I've always hated men in offices. Give me the construction worker with sweat, dirt and grime under their nails and I'm hooked. And, yes, Sam Elliot is one of my fantasies. God! that voice!

pavetack said...

It's a proven fact that Sam Elliot's voice is the exact frequency that makes women's panties fall off.

Watch your woman's ears perk up when a Dodge commercial comes on. The whisper "Ram Tough" in her ear.

You're welcome.

Peregrine John said...

Stingray, you entirely crack me up. And also, as ever, prove the wonderful point here. Excellent article, Cap'n, and definitely one to live by. Rowe's been one I've looked to for a while now, and this sums it up nicely.

Fatebekind said...

It's funny, my wife is hooked on the DIY show about a Canadian contractor who fixes other contractors screw ups, "Holmes on Homes" and has informed me that given the opportunity, she would leave me for him.I'm sure it has nothing to do with the numerous half finished repair jobs around our house.

Anonymous said...

I will state upfront that Mike Rowe is not my personal cup of tea, but his TYPE is very attractive to a lot of women. Here's why:

He's just good-looking enough to be attractive, but not so good-looking that he's intimidating (i.e., he might go for YOU rather than those snooty/vapid/stupid/flaky/trashy hot girls that every other guy wants).
He dresses like a middle-class guy, so you don't have to worry that he's going to steal your fashion thunder/look better than you/secretly harbor gay tendencies/is dressing to trade up from you.
He's handy; most women hate having to take care of things, so having someone around who loves to do that is a big positive. Plus, they get to brag to their female friends. (I did not grow up with a handy dad, so men's ability to "fix things" is not on my must-have list.)
He seems like he's a plain talker and doesn't talk too much - the AVERAGE woman doesn't want or need someone with an SAT-caliber vocabulary.
He's smart enough to respect but not so smart that he's boring, over your head, or intimidating.

He basically embodies your classic "middle American good guy." For a TV character counterpart, a good example is Luke Danes from Gilmore Girls. He always wore a baseball cap and flannel shirt, fixed things around the house for Lorelai, and drove a truck. Unsurprisingly, he was very popular with female viewers.

Clooney's appeal, besides his fame and money, is his rakishness. He's got class, but you also know he's not going to take you seriously or supplicate to you. And he's known to be quite a prankster on set. (For the record, I've never been attracted to Clooney, either.) Also...he clearly has a lot of experience with women, so you know that he wouldn't be a dud in the sack. I mean, if you're going to take a chance on that kind of fling, you might as well go for someone who can get things flung, right?

Anonymous said...

Your mother married a Marine Corps sergeant second time around, did she not, Cap'n? Not many pooftahs in that unit!