It is without the slightest milligram of shame or embarassment that I will readily admit that I never got laid in college,
And the reason I can admit this to an audience that would otherwise use such a fact as proof that I had no game, I’m a poser, I’m a keyboard jockey, etc., is because of a credible excuse:
It literally was a choice between food/rent or sex.
Tough of a choice as that may sound, invariably even the horniest of horn dogs will be forced to choose food over sex because of the simple fact you need food to live. You technically don’t need sex. And I was in such a situation.
You all know the story. Full time work, full time school, no parental or government support, yada yada, yada, but the end result was that I was too busy working and supporting myself to have the social life necessary to score a little play on the side.
Were there some close calls?
Was there that stereotypical girl who “just didn’t know” by the second date?
And did I make it to a party with inebriated women?
But in the end, I would have to either go to work, go to bed, study, or remain sober for that same night’s shift. None of which is conducive to being laid.
Naturally, when I graduated this all changed. Without having to work an effective 90 hour work week, I could focus on building a social life. My dancing career certainly helped, acting as a steroid, boosting my charm with the ladies, and for most of my mid to late twenties I made up for lost time. But that was just it, I was making up for lost time. Though only delayed by 4 years, that was enough time for me to realize I was still behind the curve when it came to game. Worse still, I didn’t get it out of my system like most men did by their late 20’s, and so while men were slowly starting to get married off, I was not prepared to settle down. I still needed more notches in my belt.
This ended up costing me greatly. For while I may not have been ready to settle down, the rest of my effective generation was. And the girl I was dating at the time, who would have made a quality candidate for marriage and saved me great angst and bullshit from future floozies, inevitably stopped waiting for me to come around and found someone else.
That was the rude awakening I needed to realize that no matter what poor lot in life I drew, it didn’t change that the rest of society, the rest of my generation, my environment, didn’t care. It was moving on without me. They all got it “out of their systems” from 16-24, and entitled or not, in me insisting I also get it out of my system, my strategy was no longer conducive to the environment I was in and only served to hurt me. My game had suffered from arrested development.
Sadly, there is no solution to this situation except to realize it. Many young men, especially in today’s generation, are going to be brought up poor. They will not have the luxuries their generational peers have, and because of this they will have to focus on the lower requirements on Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs (safety, food, health, finances) before moving onto the loftier ones (sex, friendship, self actualization, etc., just look it up). Because of this, their ability to game, interact, and score with women will be stunted or put on “hold” while they try to scrape up enough bucks to pay for rent. But when they do inevitably get to the point their finances are stable, they don’t need to work two jobs, and they can start to enjoy a social life, they will enter the courting/sexual market with underdeveloped skills or at least outdated goals and ideas. The trick is for you to realize whether or not you are one of these people and have the intellectual temerity to set aside “what you lost during your youth,” and accept and realize what the realities of your current dating/sexual market are.