Saturday, February 01, 2014

The Extinction of Real Grandmothers

I love my grandmother.  She is the epitome of everything a grandmother should be.  She is kind, she is nice, she is sweet, she (for some ungodly reason) loves her grandkids.  She is also incredibly classy.  She worked in investment banking, had martinis, flew to Florida with her friends, and even today schnookers all the old guys at the rummy competitions they have at the senior center.  I am very fortunate to have a real grandmother in the Aunt Bea sense and feel guilty for not visiting her as much as I should.

However, I am even more fortunate in another sense.  I believe my grandmother is one of the last of her kind.

Understand that feminism has been going strong since the 1960s.  And whereas my grandparents hailed from the Greatest Generation, modern day kids' grandparents hail from the hippie generation.  And sadly these women have not grown up.

I first noticed this when I visited a cadre of Cappy Cappites down in Raleigh, NC.  We went to a jazz club to smoke cigars.  Everything was great, very classy club with a good selection of cigars.

Then the music started.

And in came in a cackle of 40-50 something women wearing clothes from their halcyon days during Reagan's first administration that were no longer fashionable and no longer fitting.

I saw these aged women dancing on the floor, getting drunk, dancing with each other, grinding as if they were 21, none of which had rings.  And then it dawned on me - these women were my grandmother's age when I was a kid.  These women had grandkids.

And in a very Joe Hollenbeck way I said to myself "WHAT THE FUCK!?"

But this was to be expected.  After a 40 year regimen of you-go-girlism, feminism, careerism, divorce, and you-can-have-it-all, there was no way these women would turn out to be the refined, elegant and graceful Sophia Loren like grandmothers my generation was blessed with.  No, sadly, not only do the kids today get to suffer single mothers, drama, divorce, ritalin, drama, and an otherwise unstable family, even their GRANDPARENTS aren't around to provide that modicum of stability, let alone role modeling. 

Regardless, I'm going to go and buy my grandma some chocolates and flowers.  I suggest if you have a good one like I got, you do the same.

Post post - found this on my twitter account.  What I want you to do is look at the food and the children and tell me that doesn't make you feel like you're in Mayberry and Aunt Bea is cooking for you.  That's the type of grandmother I'm talking about.


Ras Al Ghul said...

"none of which had rings"

Funny that it is all around us and most people don't notice it. I was talking to a guy that is in his late 30s and is MGTOW whithout even knowing what MGTOW is.

And we were talking about how the marriage and remarriage rates are dropping like a stone and that at the current rate (which is still dropping) only about 20% of the adult population will be married in ten years.

And he disagreed with me at first, saying he "doesn't see it"

And I said to him, "of all your grandparent's grandchildren, how many of them are married."

And he thinks for a moment and says, "well, I'm older than most of them"

And I say "How many out of 20+ grandchildren are married? Out of my grandparents grand children, out of 15 total combined, three are married"

And he looks nonplussed for a moment and then says, "None."

To which I say, "Think back to all those family reunions your parents made you go to as a kid, were there any single people over 22 at them?"

He shakes his head.

"And in the last reunion you went to, how many single people over 22were there?"

And he grins ruefully, "Lots. You have a point."

"Its over and people don't see it, they think things are the same and they are not. Not even remotely."

And then he goes on to relate how the high school in his little small home town he refers to as "Mayberry" has changed back in rural america.

The police are called to the high school an average of three times a month. The highschool is almost completely white.

And as a final aside, all you men that think the women in rural areas are less messed up than the city girls, think again.

I said to him, "I have a theory that all women that own horses are crazy."

To which he responded "All women are crazy."

"Ah, but some are more crazy than others and I think girls with horse are more crazy."

He ponders that for a moment and then nods, "Lots of girls have horses where I came from and they were crazier than the ones that didn't."

I loved my grandmother, Cpt, I spoke with her every week for years before she died. She was wise. She was funny, she was the perfect wife to my grandfather. My grandfather was a good man, but he was a great man, not because she pushed him to be so, but because she believed he was so, and acted that way.

She is perhaps the only woman I can truly say I loved.

My other grandmother, despite being older was the perfect example of everything wrong with American women. And I mean everything: Spiteful, pathological in her lying, vindictive, cruel just to be cruel, manipulative, entitled.

So while you can shed a tear for the fact that there are no decent grandmothers now, the rot was setting in a long time ago.

Paul, Dammit! said...

This brings up an interesting point about female overt displays of high value. Looking at these women, it becomes obvious that there's a huge disconnect between DHV and reality. My own instinct is that they attach a lot of their self-worth to perceived reception of these DHV's- certainly disproportionate to the importance seemingly placed on their actual value.
At that point, I wonder whether if this is solipsism or just strong force of will: can these women enjoy their hollow self-esteem for enough time to create a new baseline for themselves? At what point does solipsism become the new reality for these fruit loops, and how long will it last? If they can stretch it out with the aid of thirsty betas with no standards, does it matter if they seem ridiculous to the discerning eye?

Ospurt said...

I'm not surprised. In reality most of them are really mothers to their grandchildren.

These women are not afforded the reward of grandchildren because they did such a crappy job of raising their own spawn they must suffer the task again.

They dance a dance of medicated denial and escapism.

Jack Amok said...

I had a similar nasty shock about a year ago at the local grocery store. I was pushing my cart down the aisle and saw a 60-ish grey haired lady pushing hers the other direction. All my years growing up, little old grey haired ladies were kind and polite and sweet.

This old bat was not.

She shoved her cart past mine, smacking into it and scowling at me for being in her way.

Then it hit me. Boomers are grey haired old people now.

Take The Red Pill said...

I think that there is nothing (or VERY damn few things, at least) more pathetic and nauseating than an old-bat feminist harpie carrying on as if she were in her twenties.
As Jed Clampett would say, "Piii-tiful. Piiii-tiful..."

Anonymous said...

I am no fan of yours. Occasionally I happen across your blog, such as it is, and this one was good. I also had a grandmother like that. She was a WAC in WW2, danced with Gen. Patton at a function in England, and spent the rest of her life giving gifts to babies. Any babies. The girl lived for gifting shit to little kids.

They don't make them like that anymore.

Credit where it's due.

RobertW said...

Don't you be dissin' Helen to me! Gotta give some leeway for talent like hers. Most of the oldsters are classless abs and talentless.

Dan said...

Enjoy your grandmother, visit her as often as possible. My parents were born during the great grandparents were made of VERY stern stuff and were a font of wisdom and knowledge. They have all been gone for many years now and I still miss seeing them and regret that my busy life kept me away from them for far often.

Anonymous said...

My maternalgrandmother was born in 1905 and passed away in 1987. She was not highly educated but she was wise.

I can still remember her tellinga local councillor in her Glaswegian accent, "Awa' ye go, Dick. Youse politicians are a' like bananas. Ye a' start aff green and straight and end up yella and bent." If I become half as wise then I will be very wise indeed.

Eric Mueller said...

I miss my grandmother. Like yours, she had a lot of class. Before dementia set in, she was up for almost anything. She never had a mean thing to say about anybody. She'd had a challenging life, since her dad died during the Depression and her mom had to work. She worked in an ammunition factory in WWII.

I'm glad in her last years I lived close enough to be able to spend some time with her. I used to invite her for Thanksgiving until she couldn't travel anymore.

We definitely don't see grandmothers like that anymore.

Anonymous said...

@Take The Red Pill

Actually, it was Granny that said "Piii-tiful. Piiii-tiful..."

The Working Home Keeper said...

Thank you for the mention, Captain. I hope you enjoyed your trip to our beautiful city of Raleigh (twerking Grandmas, aside).

I was sharing this post with my husband yesterday. He has such fond memories of his Grandmother. She was an Aunt Bea type that made the most amazing German potato salad. I hope one day my future grandchildren will remember me with such fondness.

Have a wonderful day!

Mary Ellen
The Working Home Keeper